Lux (The Nocte Trilogy, #3)(12)

Sabine looks at Dare. “You know you aren’t supposed to be out here,” she tells him. “You know there will be consequences.” He nods seriously and Sabine looks at me.

“You shouldn’t be out here, either,” she announces. “You shouldn’t invite trouble, little one.” She’s stern and I feel like I’m in trouble and I don’t know why. If anyone should be mad at me, it’s my mother. But mom doesn’t say a word, she just holds me in her arms.

“It’s my fault,” Dare interjects quickly before I can respond to Sabine. “She heard me and followed. It’s my fault.”

“It’s no one’s fault…” I start to say, but Sabine is already nodding.

“Don’t misguide her, boy,” she says. “Richard will hear about this, if he hasn’t already.”

Dare’s face pales and he’s silent, but it didn’t stop him from trying to save me from trouble. He stood up for me. I grab his hand, but he pulls it away without looking at me.

“Let’s go inside,” Finn tells me, guiding my elbow with his hand. My mother rustles us to the house and back to our rooms, and I don’t see Dare for the rest of the day.

Sabine comes to my room mid-morning and sets a tray down on my desk.

“Your mother sent me,” she tells me, handing me a cup of steaming liquid. “Drink this and tell me what you saw this morning.”

I take the tea and sip at it, and it’s bitter and I hate it. I try to hand it back, but she shakes her head.

“Drink.” Her voice is firm.

I drink, but I don’t speak. I don’t tell her that I saw the dogs broken and bloody. Because why would I have imagined such a thing? I must be a monster. Only a monster would do that.

She waits and I’m silent and finally she sighs.

“I know about you,” she says, her hand on my thigh, her fingernails biting into my flesh. “You don’t have to hide it. I told you to trust me.”

I want to answer that you can’t just tell someone to trust, that trust has to be earned. That’s something my dad has always said and he’s right. My dad is smart. But I keep my mouth shut about that.

“What do you know about me?” I ask instead.

“You know what,” she answers. “I know what no one else does. I know all about you, child.”

I shake my head though, because there’s no way. I haven’t told anyone what I saw. I sure won’t be telling her.

She clucks and shakes her head. “I can’t help you until you’re honest,” she tells me as she picks up the tray and starts for the door. She pauses though, and turns to me.

“You should stay away from Dare, though,” she tells me. “Someday, he’ll be your downfall.”

“My downfall?” I can’t help but ask. She smiles and it’s grim as she nods.

“Your downfall. It will be one for one for one, Calla.”

“What does that mean?” I’m confused but she’s gone, the door closing behind her with a heavy creak.

Castor lies at my feet and I’m so happy that he’s healthy that I hug his neck, breathing in his dog smell, and feeling his fluffy hair on my cheek. “I love you, Castor.”

He pants in reply and lies with me as the room swirls around me, my vision foggy. I don’t know what’s happening, but I can’t keep my eyes open. My eyelids are heavy Heavy

Heavy.

My hands are hot, my legs are cold and everything is swirling into blackness. As I close my eyes, I see something on the edge of my periphery, in the shadows of my room.

A boy in a hood, a boy with black black eyes. He watches me, waits for me, and he seems so utterly familiar.

But it’s not real. He can’t be real. It’s just like the bloody dogs.

I want to open my eyes to check, but my eyelids are so so so heavy.

So

Heavy.

Everything ceases to matter and I can’t trust myself anymore.

I’m crazy.

As I drift into sleep, into oblivion, I think about Dare. The boy who risked trouble to keep me out of it. “It’s my fault,” he’d said.

But it wasn’t his fault.

He’d lied to try and keep me safe.

No one has ever done that before.





Chapter Six





Whitley Estate



“I love him.”

My whisper is small in my large room, but it is heard by my brother. Because Finn has sneaked in like he does every night. Whitley is much too large for us to stay in our own rooms alone. There are far too many shadows, far too many things to fear. Our dogs lie at the foot of my bed, protecting us as we sleep. They are sentinels and it is comforting.

Finn pokes his head out of his covers, his light brown curls unruly.

“You’re dumb,” he announces. “You can’t love Dare. He’s our cousin. And I heard mom talking to Uncle Richard. Dare is a lost cause, Cal.”

Rage almost blinds me, red and hot, billowing from the corners of my eyes like ink.

“Don’t say that! It’s not true. He’s not lost. And Uncle Richard is a monster,” I tell him. “You know that. Plus, Dare is only our step-cousin. We’re not really related.”

“Close enough,” Finn answers. “You can’t love him. It wouldn’t be right.”