Lunar Love (14)

I’ll try anything once…like ZodiaCupid and celebrating Valentine’s Day.

He’s probably the type of person who would share the who, what, when, where, and why of his own app in his dating profile. That’s easy promotion. I wouldn’t put it past him.

I’ll pick up the tab…if you can actually tell me, in order, the Chinese zodiac animal signs.

Midway down the screen, a pop-up box interrupts my flow.

Prepare those paintbrushes, Horses! You share an animal sign with Rembrandt. You’re artistic by nature.

“Oh, look. Generic fun facts about the animal signs,” I say sarcastically. “This is where we can play to our advantage. We take the time to get to know our clients, Pinot. We don’t brushstroke their animal signs over them.” Still, I’m momentarily distracted by what Horse traits Rembrandt must’ve possessed.

I take a sip of wine. A sinking feeling whirls in my stomach. What if people using the app match with my fake profile? Then they’ll feel led on and think that the nonexistent person on the other end is purposely ignoring them. I’m not trying to break anyone’s heart. Pó Po and Auntie would be so disappointed if they knew what I was up to.

Pó Po’s advice when we were in initial discussions for me to take over Lunar Love echoes through my head. If you take on more than you can chew, you’ll choke, she instructed. I push her words out of my mind. In order to survive, we have to eat everything. I suppose it’s a small sacrifice for exposing the truth.

I feel like I’m trying to fly to the moon on a sailboat. I take a deep breath. I can’t bring love to the world if Lunar Love doesn’t exist. I tap Save on my profile and watch as more animal noises trickle in, waiting to see if a certain Rat will squeak at me.

I flip through the channels on TV to find a new distraction, landing on a docuseries about the deep sea. It feeds into my curiosity and fears. But being in the ocean is different than observing it from the comforts of my studio apartment. The distraction attempts don’t work for long. I let the episode play in the background as I continue studying the press release. Another form of feeding my curiosity and fears.

“One thing that differentiates us is that we aren’t showing images of users in the profiles. Eighty-five percent of people we surveyed preferred not to show photos, so we eliminated the need for it. We’re about personality traits, not how people look. Our concept is based loosely on the Chinese zodiac animal sign traits, but we do things our own way,” O’Brien shares. “After all, traditions were meant to be broken.”



Traditions were meant to be broken? Who does this guy think he is?

“It’s the Great Race to Lunar New Year. That’s only four months away,” I calculate. “It’s fine. There’s still time for them to fail before then.”

Pinot stares blankly at me.

“I know the Great Race is a sore subject for you cats. Oh forget it. I thought you’d at least care because a Rat is involved!”

February is our biggest month of the year with Lunar New Year and Valentine’s Day. If ZodiaCupid successfully launches then, we may not see the boost in client numbers we’re used to. We’ll need to rethink our strategy and make the most of the next few months. Lunar Love counts on that annual increase.

I grab my laptop and double-check Lunar Love’s spreadsheets. Luckily, we have enough savings to keep us afloat for about two or three more months, but we don’t have time to waste.

ZodiaCupid is running a closed beta where a few thousand lucky users can test the product early and experience most of the features ZodiaCupid will offer, with lots more additions to come. Meanwhile, ZodiaCupid is taking beta tester feedback into consideration and working on improving their product.

“We’re excited about the overwhelmingly positive feedback we’ve received so far. We don’t take the work we do lightly or for granted. It’s been a wild ride, and we’re just getting started,” O’Brien adds.

It wasn’t until the past two weeks that they announced their presence to the world with a creative social media campaign. They’ve already received over 25,000 email signups from people hoping to be accepted into beta during this campaign. If you haven’t yet found love, sign up on their website to be a beta tester and give this clever and unique dating app a try—this could be your Year of the Match Made in Zodiac Heaven!



I unintentionally clench my jaw as I read phrases like “The start-up world’s newest darling” and “Fresh concept for those looking for tradition in a modern world.” If people cared about tradition and the Chinese zodiac, they would’ve found us. Lunar Love has been here for half a century, but because we’re not some flashy new app, we get overlooked. Apps are soulless and impersonal. Love is between two people, not two avatars. Lunar Love is a business that’s built from the heart.

Another headline, “Chinese Zodiac Expert Helps Masses Find Compatible Matches,” stops me in my tracks.

“You think you’re an expert, Bennett? You’re not an expert! The only thing you’re an expert in is stealing other people’s business concepts and buns.” My shouts annoy Pinot, and he jumps off my lap, settling into the far corner of the couch.

I wander into the bathroom and rip open a sheet mask. I carefully drape the mask over my forehead, nose, and cheeks. How are they measuring success? The number of oinks and barks people receive? Messages? How are they even tracking that without knowing who’s going on dates? My skepticism remains. There’s no way this app works.