Loving Me, Trusting You(2)

I turn around to give her some privacy and focus my gaze on Melissa Diamond. She's slumped over Kent's bike, holding onto the handlebars like they'll be able to save her from the downward spiral she's started on. The flirty, wicked blonde bombshell she was a few days ago is gone. Disappeared without a trace. Despite all the things she's done to me, all the flirting and the teasing and the bullshit, I feel sorry for her. Really, I do. Poor thing's going to have to reinvent herself, figure out what it was she wanted in the first place. I do not envy her that f*cking task.

I pull my helmet off with a sigh and walk over to my bike, tossing it onto the back and pulling out a cigarette. As I light up, I take a deep breath and try my best not to look over my shoulder at Mireya. She needs her space, I know that. But I can't resist. Like that douche, Orpheus, I turn and look at her, even though I shouldn't.

Her head is back and her dark hair is billowing in the breeze.

Ash falls from the tip of my cigarette and hits the toe of my boot as I gaze, completely raptured by this wild woman. My cock gets rock solid at the thought of her brushing her lips down my stomach, dragging that gorgeous hair across my skin. Mireya is a hot f*ck, don't get me wrong, but that's not why I'm interested.

I pull my cigarette out with two fingers and exhale into the hot, dry air.

Mireya is the one.

I don't just believe in all of that fairytale shit, I eat it for breakfast. I live that f*cking shit. Because without it, the world is a bleak, bleak place. Don't even want to imagine how anybody gets along without it. Even people like Austin who deny it eventually fall for it. We all do. Or we die real pissed off. Now, I don't know if there's heaven or hell or anything like that, but I do know that if I go without a chance to have Mireya, my soul is going to be seriously f*cked up. This wanting can only go on so long before it bleeds you dry. Right now, I'm ready for a transfusion. Seven years is a long time, sweetheart. A long, long time.

Mireya drops her chin to her chest, shakes out her hands and spins around. She pounds the earth with her knee-high boots and licks her dry lips. Her dark eyes are faraway, but still beautiful. Deadly. She's been pissed off ever since that night. I can't figure out why, and she won't discuss it, so what am I supposed to do? I feel like a kicked puppy for Christ's sake, and I'm a grown ass man.

“Don't do it,” Beck whispers as he saunters by and flips me the finger. “You're acting a damn fool, Kelley.” I ignore him and put my cigarette back in my mouth.

“You alright there, lover?”

“Screw you, Gaine,” Mireya says as she storms past and mounts her f*cking motorcycle like I wish she'd mount me, muscular thighs clenching tight, fingers wrapping the bars. She squeezes them so hard, her knuckles pop. “I don't want to hear any of your dime store romance bull. Just leave me alone right now, okay?”

I should be offended, but I'm not. Kind of used to this shit by now. Used to it but ready for it to stop. Soon. I watch as Mireya closes her eyes and tries to get a grip on her emotions. If she'd let me, I could help her. As of right now, I'm in the dark. I don't know what happened with Walker or why she's feeling the way she's feeling. Did she kill him? Is this guilt? Or is he still alive? Is this fear? I have no clue. Mireya Sawyer is not the kind of woman that's easy to read. Over time, I've gotten better, but I'm no expert.

I drop my cigarette to the ground and crush it out with the sole of my boot, watching as Mireya's eyes open and trail over to Austin and Amy, happy in their little couple cocoon. She gazes at them with pain, but no envy. Not anymore. I think she's moved on. Or at least, I f*cking hope so.

“And Gaine, I can see your Goddamn hard-on. It's pointing straight at my f*cking face. A little respect here? I'm hurting and you want to dive into my vagina. Piss off.” I roll my eyes and try not to get mad. If I do, it'll just start this fire between us that I'd rather not have burning. Mireya can turn any fight into a brawl, any brawl into an all out war. I keep telling myself that it's a defense mechanism, but my tongue's got a life of its own sometimes.

“You know what I want, Mireya, and it ain't just your *.” Beck whistles, and some catcalls pass down the line, but I ignore 'em, watching Sawyer's beautiful bronze face squinch up in distaste.

“Really, Gaine? You want a happily ever after? Is that it?” Mireya smiles wicked nasty, grabbing her helmet and jamming it onto her skull like she's trying to punish herself for something. She lifts her visor up to glare at me. “Well, keep searching cowboy, because you're not going to find it here.”

Mireya starts up her bike with a roar, drops her visor, and disappears down the highway without another word, leaving the rest of us to catch up behind her.





Gaine Kelley is such an *. He doesn't know that he is, but he is. The biggest f*cking * to ever walk this earth. I don't want to look at him. I don't want to see his face. And most especially, I don't want to hear him say it again. I love you. I don't love him. That's for sure. We've f*cked a couple of times, so what? If he expects me to give him the key to my heart, he's going to be sorely disappointed. That crusty, old organ was chained up and locked away a long time ago. And I threw away the key when I saw Austin look at Amy for the first time. I knew it then, just knew it. Winning him back was never an option. I knew, but I still tried, and I failed. And now …