Loving Me, Trusting You(14)

“Where are we going?” she asks, looking up and down the quiet street with wide, fearful eyes. I'm about to take her inside the hotel when I see Gaine leaning against the street entrance to the parking garage with a cigarette between his lips and his arms crossed over his broad chest. When he turns away and moves down the steps, I change my direction and follow. “You're not going to, like, rape and murder me, are you?” Crystal asks, steps slowing as I start down the cement stairs without waiting to see if she's going to follow.

“Sweetie, if you have to ask that question, maybe you should go? After all, this world is one sick and f*cked up dirty place. I've been hurt bad by it before, and I can promise you that it'll show no mercy.” I hit the oily pavement and move across the brightly lit lot like a jaguar hunting prey. Gaine's already waiting for me, cigarette dangling from his lips while he stares with glittering eyes. I like the power I have over him. I admit it. I like that he wants me, craves me.

Without a single word passing between us, Gaine grabs his cig between two fingers and flings it to the cement, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me to him, kissing me hard and possessing me with his lips. We've been here, done this before. He's said things to me before, things that I can never forgive. I love you.

But he can't. Nobody can. At this point in my life, there is nothing here to love but a sharp edged bitch who doesn't remember how to feel. Numb. That's all I am anymore. Just numb.

I feel Gaine's body, hard and angular, the perfect opposite to my soft curves, my breasts. He crushes me against him as I tangle my fingers in his dark hair and pull, drawing a groan from his lips and a pleasant grinding against my hips when his cock responds to my call.

“Don't be selfish now,” I whisper against his mouth, drawing back and glancing over my shoulder. Against all the odds, Crystal is standing behind me with her coat gaping open, staring at us both with a heated expression. She made a stupid mistake coming down here. There's a very, very good chance and a high likelihood that had we been a part of any other MC, that bad things might've happened. I should be warning her off, telling her how lucky she is to have that boring life she hates, but I can't do it. The animal inside of me is raging out of control, a lioness unleashed on the hunt. I can't control myself anymore. I've never really been able to control myself. On the outside, it seems like I am, but inside, I'm screaming. “Come here,” I tell the girl, beckoning with my fingers for her to approach. She's steady on her high heels, running her tongue across her lower lip.

“How old are you, babe?” Gaine asks, narrowing his dark eyes suspiciously. When he looks at me, they shine like jewels forged from the deepest recesses of the earth, something old and condensed and burning with molten heat. When he looks at her, they may as well be flint. They're cold, unfeeling. I wonder how far I can push him?

“Twenty-two,” she says, and I can almost see Gaine's face fall. He wanted a way out, some way to say no to me without bearing the brunt of my anger. He's trapped now. I laugh and press a kiss to his ear, teasing the little wisps of hair that tickle his neck. I twirl them around my finger and absorb the liquid heat from his fingertips. If I focus too hard on that feeling, that intensity, I'll get swept in and sucked away. Estoy ardiendo.

“Twenty-f*cking-two,” I whisper into Gaine's ear. Just six years younger than me and a whole world away. I step back and put my hand against his broad chest, splaying my fingers against his rapidly beating heart. With a simple push, I get him right where I want him, sitting on the edge of his bike. Without any prompting from me, Crystal moves forward and wraps her hands around Gaine's neck, dropping the shy girl routine completely. Her teeth nibble his lip and he kisses her back, mildly, like he's kissin' his damn grandma or something.

“Oh come on, Gaine Kelley,” I tell him, sliding Crystal's trench from her shoulders and tossing it over the back of Gaine's bike along with my jacket. “Don't tell me you've never been in a ménage à trois before. Show me some of that New York City slick, baby.” I run my hands over Crystal's hips and reach down to the hard bulge of denim between Gaine's legs. His belt buckle comes undone next and then his zipper.

He starts to kiss her for real then, reaching up and taking hold of her hips, right above my hands, squeezing with calloused fingers and gripping tight. My lips touch Crystal's neck, taste the tangy bite of perfume while my nostrils fill with the sweet scent of shampoo. She smells like a dozen other girls I've shared with Austin over the years, like some I've had all to myself. I prefer men, but I haven't been very discriminate. I should've been, maybe, should've tried to find something in myself to value, to ration out rather than give away, but I never could follow the healing process to that natural conclusion. After … what happened to me with Walker and everything, I think I wanted to make sex not such a big deal. So I've had a lot of it. Too much maybe.

But that doesn't matter right now. Right now, there's just three hot bodies and a whole sea of hormones, teasing us, bringing us to life, filling the air with pheromones that are nearly irresistible.

Gaine grunts as I free him from his boxers, stroking the smoothness of his shaft, the hot, sweaty heat of his skin. His moans fill her mouth as my breasts press against the thin bones in her shoulders. Crystal's not like me. In all the places I'm round, she's flat and trim. Her hips are small, her breasts smaller. She's delicate, like a doll. If we'd have been born in different places, I don't think she would've survived, not my life anyway.