Love Thy Neighbor (Friend-Zoned)(91)

I whisper in awe, “Oh my God.”

I watch the little tan pug puppy attack the little black pug puppy. They wrestle and make sweet little whimpering noises and baby growls. They are so precious and perfect. I love them immediately. They both have collars already on them. The tan puppy has on a blue collar and the black puppy has on a yellow collar. They have little metal tags on them in the shape of a bone. They’re engraved too. My little tan puppy’s name is Pizza and my little black puppy is called Donut.

My family is forming right before my eyes.

Covering my eyes with my hands, I give myself a mental pep talk to get my shit together. I’m becoming an emotional wreck and that was not part of the deal. Breathing deeply, I look up at Ash and tell him quietly, “I love them. Thank you, baby.”

Walking over to the bed, he says, “Now I’m no expert, but I don’t think you need to thank someone for loving you. You just need to…I don’t know…appreciate it, I guess.” He shrugs and says sheepishly, “I think. I’m still learning.”

I look up at him and wonder how I was ever happy without him. The truth is, I wasn’t. Not at all. I was faking my way through life. You know that saying ‘Fake it til you make it.’?

I was living it.

And I hated it.

I mentally vow from this day to never fake my happiness. I won’t need to. As long as I have the other part of my heart sleeping next to me every night, everything will be great in my world.

Starting tomorrow, I will live my life as it was meant to be lived.

In the wise words of my husband…

…Just happy.





Chapter Twenty-Nine

No f*cking way!





Before I know it, Saturday night is here and I’m dying to get to the club.

This week has been a great one but I’m exhausted. I need to let my hair down and hang out with my favorite people. A smile creeps onto my face.

Who knew so many great memories could come from a single week?

As I walk from room to room, my two little boys follow me around like a couple of sheep, and it makes me smile. They are just too cute. They’re only ten weeks old, so a life in the day of Pizza and Donut goes a little like this:

Eat, sleep, poop.

Eat again, poop then nap.

Play time, eat, poop OR vomit.

Nap, wrestle, eat and fall asleep for the night. Check and check.

My widdle babies. I wuv them sooo much.

Ash can’t stand the baby talk. He says he’s going to give them away if I keep doing it. He has no idea I saw him squishing Pizza’s face together while telling him, “You are pretty cute for such an ugly little thing.” I’m confident nothing I do will cause the swift departure of my widdle babies.

I walk into the bathroom and stand at the counter. Both Pizza and Donut decide it’s a good time to bite mommy’s ankles. And it hurts! Their little teeth are like needles right now. They leave me no choice but to sit on the counter while I do my makeup. Donut whines and cries which makes Pizza howl. It breaks my heart, but I know I need to give them a dose of tough love.

We both decided it’s a good idea if we live in Asher’s apartment and keep mine until we can find someone to take over the lease. Breaking the lease would mean losing a whole lot of cash, and I’m absolutely sure we can find someone who needs a place to live. How hard can it be?

Ash was worried the puppies would wreck the apartment while we’re out so I went to a pet store and got a doggie pen for them.

I didn’t guess that the little worms would be able to fit through the wooden slats so I went to a fabric store and got some fishnet material. I wound it around all by myself and stepping back to look at it, I was pretty proud of the job I did. That is until Ash came home.

He opened the door to his apartment, stepped inside and stopped dead. Pointing to the new and improved pen, he said, “What the f*ck is that?”

Smiling proudly, I told him, “Fishnet! Great, huh?”

Wide-eyed and shaking his head slowly, he muttered, “No. Not even a bit.”

Offended, I put my hands in my hips and demanded, “What’s wrong with it?”

Looking about to burst into laughter, he replied, “You have two male dogs in a pen which is wrapped in bright pink fishnet. They look like they’re strippers. They look like hookers, Nat!”

Flushing, I explained a little too loudly, “It was the only kind they had!”

Dipping his head, I saw his body shake in silent laughter. He sighed through a smile and said, “Ready to go?”

Narrowing my eyes at him, I uttered, “Yeah. Let me grab my purse.”

Ash held the door open for me and as I was walking out, he looked over to the pen and told my babies, “Don’t work the streets too hard tonight, boys. And remember, if it’s not on, it’s not on. No one likes a puppy with STDs.”

Which brings us to now.

I really tried to dress appropriately tonight and found that I couldn’t. I don’t have married clothes. I only have single, let’s f*ck, clubbing clothes. As we walk down to his sexy Impala, his baby, Ash finally took a second to look at me and says, “That’s what you’re wearing?” I simply nodded knowing he wouldn’t be the happiest camper that ever lived. He raised his head heavenward as if in prayer and mumbles, “Of course. Fuck me. Fuck me. Fuck me hard. Amen.”