Love Thy Neighbor (Friend-Zoned)(80)

Just as I open my mouth to ask, the front door opens and from down the hall, a familiar voice yells out teasingly, “It’s just me. Don’t shoot, Jeff!”

She walks into the kitchen with a small smile and says, “Why so glum, chum?” Then she spots me.

Her body stiffens, her hands fly to her mouth and her bag drops on the ground, its contents spilling everywhere. I take this moment of silence to get a look at her.

She looks like my mom used to. Happier with bright eyes. I guess she should be happier with my dad gone.

I stand slowly and, knowing it would hurt her, say in a way of greeting, “Grace.”

Direct hit.

Her eyes close tightly, her face pained. I suddenly wonder why I feel like a piece of shit.

Faith clears her throat and says, “C’mon, Jeff. We’ll give you two some time alone.” They both stand. Faith quickly picks up the contents of mom’s bag, placing it on the counter. They both walk out, leaving me and my mother alone for the first time in twenty years.

Coming to terms with the fact that her son stands only feet away from her, her face softens and a small smile appears on her face.

She looks really pretty. I missed that.

She tells me, “I just went to see you, but you weren’t in.” She shakes her head, smiles and rambles, “Well, of course you weren’t in. You’re here! Which is strange as heck. And I know you don’t want to hear it, but I’m your mom and I’m going to tell you anyways… You grew to be a handsome man, baby.”

I can’t stop myself from staring at her.

She’s a different woman to the one I knew twenty years ago. To the woman I hated.

Who is this woman?

She claps her hands together, goes through the fridge and says over her shoulder, “I missed lunch so our options are turkey on rye or…” she looks closer before nodding, “turkey on rye, it is.”

I still haven’t said a word, but she goes about making our sandwiches and talking jibber jabber. She chuckles, “So, like I said, went to your place today and you weren’t there.” She turns to look at me and says, “Ashy, it’s not a great neighborhood, baby. Are you sure it’s safe there?”

Stunned into silence, I can only nod.

I feel like I’m ten again.

She puts the cheese on the bread first then the mayo then the turkey and cuts off the crusts, just how I used to ask for it. By the way she moves around the kitchen, she hasn’t even noticed. She utters, “I guess I should ask what brings you here today, but we can talk about that over lunch.”

She brings me my sandwich on a plate along with a glass of sweet tea then brings hers over too and sits. She takes a bite of her sandwich and watches me closely. Suddenly feeling awkward, I take a bite of my sandwich and her face erupts into a beautiful smile.

Unable to fight myself any longer, I say quietly, “You can’t pretend it never happened, mom.”

Her face falls a little but not into sadness, into something serious. She tells me, “Asher, I spent twenty years with that man, fearing for my life and yours. I was a different person back then. Did you know that your father threatened me? He told me if I went to the police that he would kill you.” Her face falls further as she whispers, “And I had no doubt he would, baby.”

Clearing her throat, she speaks a little stronger when she says, “I told myself that if I had you beaten but alive, I was winning. I know I wasn’t there for you, Ash. I wish I could go back and do what you had the strength to do. If I could, I would’ve been the one to end it. But after you’d gone, I felt like I was getting only what I deserved, so I didn’t fight him.”

I shove half the sandwich in my mouth to stop myself from speaking a little while longer.

Fuck this, get to the point.

After I swallow, I tell her, “I want Gram’s ring.”

She blinks at me wide-eyed for a moment before standing and walking away. Not a minute later she comes back with the blue velvet ring box. She places it on the table in front of me, opens it and says, “Asher, this was yours from the day you were born, baby. No need to ask for what’s yours. That’s why I’ve been calling. I came to bring this to you today. This and something else. Something I’m sure you won’t want, but I have to give it to you.”

I don’t ask her what she wants to give me so she takes this as permission to continue. She says, “When Robert… When he died, I didn’t realize just how much he had his life insurance payment set to. After his death was ruled self-defense, I got that inheritance and put it in a bank account. You were still underage, Asher, so I had them put it under your name. It’s been sitting there for almost twenty years and I don’t want the burden anymore. I can’t touch the money anymore. You’re an adult now, and I can’t access it, so you need to make a decision about what you want to do with it, baby.”

I scowl down at the table.

I can’t believe this shit.

I sneer, “You’re seriously f*cking throwing this on me now? Seriously, Ma? I don’t f*cking believe this shit.”

She swallows visibly before saying a strained, “Think of what this money could do for you. This money was always going to be yours whether you wanted it or not. If you don’t want it, give it away. Think of what a domestic violence charity could do with this money, baby. There are people out there who need help… just like we needed and never got.”