Love Letters From the Grave(27)

She sighed and stepped over her husband’s prone body. Let him sleep it off. Whatever ‘it’ was.

She began to seriously review their marriage, in an attempt to discover what had gone wrong. During their first year, she’d started to wonder why she was not getting pregnant, since they used no precautions. Also, she was puzzled by the fact that Tommy never mentioned children, and always seemed rather indifferent whenever the subject came up. The fact that Maureen ended up having three boys, all within the first six years of her marriage, added to her wonderment. Moreover, it seemed that all the young married couples in the area, except for them, were having babies. Naturally, her sister, her father, Carol, and many others inquired from time to time about whether she and Tommy planned to have children. She never knew how to answer them, so she always responded with a vague answer.

Now, in retrospect, she decided that the reason she never became pregnant was Tommy's fault. Perhaps the rumors were true, that he was queer and might, therefore, have faulty sperm. She had no idea, but this possibility made sense to her. She thought that his queerness might also explain his "billy-goat-like" method of sexual intercourse. Thus, rather than "normal" love-making with his wife, it might be that it was simply a form of queer masturbation.

Her plans to do anything about her hideous marriage were soon interrupted, however, when the Second World War broke out. This caused major changes in the area, most noticeably as the community emptied of men between the ages of eighteen and thirty.

Tommy did not enter the military because of his age, and because law-enforcement officers were generally exempted.

Molly could barely stand to look at him.

‘You could have volunteered. You should have volunteered,’ she told him when he said he wasn’t enlisting.

‘What I do is none of your business,’ he growled.

But Molly had had enough. ‘You’d like it, anyway,’ she said venomously. ‘All those men around. Is that why you became a sheriff, Tommy? Because of all that male camaraderie? If my father ever knew …’

For a moment, she thought he was about to strike her. Instead he turned on his heel and reappeared several minutes later with a suitcase.

‘I don’t know how I’ve put up with you for so long,’ he spat as he passed her in the kitchen.

Molly didn’t attempt to stop him. She heard later that he’d moved into a house with three other men, which convinced her that the queer rumors were substantiated - although Tommy never admitted that he was a sexual deviant.

He did, however, ask her for a divorce, which she gladly and quickly agreed to. To her mind, it was good riddance.



Since she was rid of Tommy, and since there was a severe shortage of workers in war-production plants, she decided that she would take a job in a nearby manufacturing plant, located only approximately 20 miles from her home.

There was no public transportation, so she purchased an automobile for commuting to work, and because she worked in a plant which produced essential war materials, she was given an extra ration of gasoline. Her father gave his blessing to her war-plant work, and also made it clear that he was glad that she had obtained a divorce from Tommy. Tommy continued to work as a deputy sheriff, although he kept his distance from Jesse after the divorce. However, the relationship between Tommy and her father eventually became strained when he ran against him for the job of County Sheriff. Her father won the election by a landslide, which made her exceedingly happy.

Her life settled into a routine for the remainder of the war years. She worked at least an eight-hour shift at the war plant, and while living at home she did mostly outside chores - feeding and watering the animals, tending the garden, picking fruit and vegetables, depending on the season. On weekends, she usually spent time with Carol and a few other friends.

She never dated, even though she was frequently asked out by men at the plant and a few from her neighborhood. She seemed to have no interest in men. Her lack of interest was undoubtedly related to her abominable marriage experiences, but besides that, nearly all the young men of her own age were either away serving their country in the military, or were married.

From time to time she thought about some of the men she dated or knew before she married Tommy. However, the two men – John and another deputy - that were not in the military were married, and the ones that were away serving their country were never home.

During the war, those serving in the military never got leave. They were in the service for the duration of the war. Even if they were wounded, they would be patched up and either sent back to combat duty or sent to support, or training duty, depending on the severity of their injuries. Molly had heard that a marine she knew was severely wounded while serving in the South Pacific. After treatment and rehabilitation in a navy hospital, he was sent to a stateside training facility, where he spent the rest of the war training recruits. However, military policy did not allow military personnel stationed Stateside to be treated any differently than those serving overseas. Even though this marine was stationed only a few hundred miles from his home, he was prohibited from taking leave or having visitors. It seemed an unnecessary level of hardship in a situation that was already unbearable.

After working at the plant for about a year, Molly was invited, along with another divorced woman co-worker, to move into a small house of another colleague whose husband was in the Army, serving in the European Theater of Operations. The two tenants would provide company for the lonely wife, and much-needed financial help to the newlyweds. Since she now lived close enough to walk to and from work, or to walk a few blocks and take a trolley car, Molly saved enough automobile and commuting expenses to nearly cover the costs of her rent and food. This continued to be Molly's living arrangements until a few months after the end of the war, and she welcomed the change from her circumstances with Tommy.