Love Handles (Oakland Hills #1)(95)

His mother waded through the wriggling puppies and put her arm around his waist.

“He still hasn’t called her,” April said.

Trixie said, “He will,” and for once left it at that.

When they went into the house, Mark was sitting at the kitchen table surrounded by Legos and a laptop, drinking beer and wearing an apron. “I’m making Mom a new napkin holder. Robotic.” He grinned. “I've programmed it to dispense on voice commands.”

Liam patted him on the back. “To think you almost didn’t get into MIT. What a waste that would have been.”

“Blow me,” Mark said, and the machine in his hands beeped and raised a lever. “I hear you’re unemployed too.”

“And me too!” April popped a stuffed olive in her mouth, looking at their mother. “Don’t worry. Liam hates being a bum. You’ll only have two losers to support soon.” She reached over the kitchen table and hit the button on the flat screen TV mounted to the wall.

“I don’t mind,” Trixie said. “It gives us more time together.” She squeezed Liam again and sat next to Mark and the Legos. “Plus, Mark is an excellent cook.”

Liam opened his mouth to make a joke, insult him in his loving, brotherly way, but he didn’t have it in him. So he got himself a beer instead, and when the TV seemed too loud and the kitchen too crowded for his mood, he wandered back to the porch to see the dogs and remember the last time he’d been there.

Bev had rejected him, but—it hadn’t been easy. He saw how she’d looked at him, as if he’d come fresh from Gerard’s bakery in a warm paper bag. It had hurt him at the time, thinking she only wanted his body—

“I’m such a sissy,” he muttered.

“Shut up,” April said, coming up behind him. “It had to happen eventually.”

“Becoming a sissy?”

“No, you big homophobe. A human being.” Then, to his shock, April threw her arms around his chest and smiled up at him. “I’m so happy for you.”

“I want to kill myself, and you’re happy.”

“You’re just afraid she doesn’t love you back. But she might. She gave you that look.”

“Look?”

April opened her eyes wide, dropped her mouth open, and panted.

Liam frowned at her. “I’m in love with a zombie?”

Her face broke into a smile and she squeezed him so hard his ribs creaked. “I’m so happy for you.”

He sighed through the pain. “I’m going to have to go back.”

“But we just got here,” April said. “I am not leaving before we eat.”

“No, I mean to Fite.”

“Yay!” she said, squeezed him one more time until he cried out.

“Just until I can get another big deal back on track. So I don’t have to feel guilty.” And she can see what she’s missing. He sucked in his gut and ran his hands through his hair. She could gaze and yearn.

“New shirt?” April asked. “Kind of tight, isn’t it?”

“Is it?” He frowned down at himself before he noticed she was smiling. “Cut that out.”

“You’re so insecure.” She tilted her head and studied him. “Mom says it’s because you were a fat kid.”

He could feel the blood rush to his face. After all these years, to have phantom buttons wired to unwanted nerves. He rolled his eyes. “No, it’s because my father didn’t love me enough.”

“Sorry, that’s my excuse. You were his favorite.”

“Only after I started breaking records,” he said. “I was always one meet away from being thrown aside.”

“That’s not true.”

“He used to taunt me, threatening to train Mark to swim instead—”

April laughed. “Mark sinks.”

“—and when I didn’t take that seriously, he enrolled him in chess camp. He was going to be the next Bobby Fischer, and to hell with me.”

Her voice got soft. “I remember that. He went away all summer.”

“Poor Mark. You were right. I had it good.” He sipped his beer. “He was such a shitty father.”

She bit her lip and frowned into her glass. “I hate to hear you say it. He can’t defend himself.” She sighed. “He was okay to me, I guess. I was just, you know, there.”

Liam tousled her hair. “You’re never just ‘there,’ April, but you were a girl and you were the baby,” he said. “I used to wish Mom would dump him and marry someone else so you and Mark could have a new dad. By then I knew I was stuck with him. He’d invested too much in me to give up, but I wished I could do something for you guys.”

“He’s gone, Liam. Put him out of your mind.”

Liam finished his beer. “Actually he’s not the one on my mind these days.”

“Great. Keep thinking about her.”

As if I could stop. He was still afraid of turning into his father, of bullying a theoretical wife and their theoretical children, but—who was he kidding? He wanted Bev, with an ache that had spread into every corner of his body. If anyone could look out for herself and the little people around them it was her. She’d already proven that.