Love Beyond Words (City Lights, #1)(37)
And to think I almost ruined this.
He nestled closer. Her petite frame curled against him perfectly. Her softness against his hardness. His musculature was slender and lean as opposed to big and bulky, but her delicacy made him feel even stronger, more powerful, and awakened a primal desire to protect her.
He kissed her shoulder, but softly so as not to wake her. Her skin beneath his lips was soft, porcelain smooth, and very warm. Such an ecstasy to be enveloped in that warmth; the warmth of her mouth, her arms, the nexus of her legs. But especially her mouth. Making love to her had been as phenomenal as he could have hoped, but he wanted to kiss her all day, every minute. Her lips were more flushed than her skin, the color other women needed glosses to achieve. He loved kissing those lips; tasting them, biting and sucking them until he was half out of his mind for her.
He felt a stirring between his own legs at such thoughts, and took a steadying breath. But he couldn’t stop admiring her, and wound a lock of her silky hair around his finger. A gorgeous chestnut color, almost as rich as her eyes that were the color of melted chocolate and alit from within with intelligence and wit and a passion for life that stole his breath.
He knew he was waxing rhapsodic, but couldn’t help it. He’d lost himself in their velvety brown depths too many times in the cafe, listening to her talk about her dreams, her desires, her books…and him.
He brushed that last aside. What she’d said about his writing revealed more about her than anything else. The spirited, profound ideas she’d set forth had shocked him. She was too vibrant, too passionate a person for an empty café and nights spent alone, talking to no one. She was shy, but she also wasn’t. She was bursting with ideas, with observations, lacking only a person to share them with. The idea that he could be that person…It thrilled him entirely, but the responsibility of it had frightened him too.
He sighed again, this time in relief. He had almost ruined it, but somehow here she was. The sweetness of her, her generous heart, and her love had saved them both and he vowed he would never do anything to jeopardize her happiness again. Never.
She stirred and opened her eyes. “Hi.”
“Hi.”
“What time is it?”
Julian glanced at the digital clock on his bedside table. “A little after midnight.”
“I slept so well, I thought it must be later.”
So beautiful…He started to kiss her, but pulled back, shaking his head with a sheepish laugh.
She laughed. “What was that?”
“I love kissing you, more than anything. But I don’t want to wear you out over it.”
“As if that were possible.”
Thank God. He kissed her thoroughly while her fingers slipped into his hair.
“Mmm, that’s my weakness,” she said. “Your hair. I’ve been wanting to do that for months.”
“Don’t let me stop you.”
She raked her fingers this time, sending shivers of pleasure down his back while he indulged in another kiss with that exquisite mouth of hers.
“As tempting as it is to spend the rest of the night right here, dinner is languishing. Are you hungry?”
“Yes. And you need to fuel up.”
“Do I?”
He watched her face turn scarlet with mortification. “Oh my god, I meant because I want to hear all about you and Above and not because of…other…things.”
Julian pulled her hand from her eyes, laughing with her and kissing her again until they were in danger of losing the night altogether.
#
Ten minutes later, in the kitchen, he heated up the dinner he’d prepared for her when Natalie emerged from the bathroom. She wore the t-shirt he usually slept in, while he wore another shirt and soft pants. Such a cliché, he thought, but the sight of her, in only a shirt and panties, the outline of her breasts barely hinted at…
“You have to stay on that side of the counter,” he told her. “If you come near me looking that cute and sexy, I’m liable to burn the dinner. Or myself. Or both.”
She took a seat on the barstool, her cheeks blushing prettily. “No one has ever called me sexy before.”
“No one is a raving lunatic,” Julian said, and she laughed. He loved to make her laugh, to see her smile. She did both so easily, but there was pain locked behind her eyes, the pain that she wouldn’t let go of. She will in time, he thought. Just love her and be there for her so when she’s ready, she’ll know it’s safe.
“There are lots firsts happening here,” she was saying, her gaze downward. “Lots of things I’ve never done before. I’m sure you’ve noticed.”
Julian stirred the soup as it heated up again, and smiled at her. “There are lots of things I’ve never done before.”
She arched a brow. “You know what I mean. I worry that I’ll seem too clumsy to you, or…I don’t know.”
He marveled at her, how honest she was and how forthright, despite her bashfulness. I’ll make it easy for her, he thought and another the heels of that; I’d do anything for her.
“I have been with a grand total of five other women,” he said, pouring a glass fof wine for her, and one for himself. “I was nineteen, alone in New York City…This was right after Above came out and started to make some money. I had a strange, off-and-on relationship with a performance artist. I never had to worry about my secret with her; neither of us were interested in anything other than sex, to be honest. It was an educational relationship and, if I’m being very honest, a rather fun one.”