Love At First Glance (Love at Firsts #1)(12)

“Put that down and step away from my dick,” he rationalizes and holds his hands up as he backs away from me.

“Smart thinking.” I wink and sprinkle the cheese onto our plates before grabbing some spicy sauce and heading into the living room with Spencer following behind.

“I’ll miss having you around all the time.” He sighs and kisses my shoulder after sitting next to me on the sofa.

“I’ll miss you too, but I’m not that far away. We’ll still see each other a couple of times a week at least, probably even more than we did before and we will still dedicate a night for Spencer-Haven movie night. Just like we used to do when we first lived together.”

“I was about to suggest that.” He chuckles and we dig into our food.

“How about Friday nights?” I smile as he wipes some sauce that I managed to get on my nose.

“Sounds good to me.” He smiles and we eat in a comfortable silence whilst watching our favorite show, American Horror Story.



Tonight is my first night alone in this apartment and surprisingly I don’t find it weird or creepy. I thought I'd be lonely but I don't, which is both a good and bad thing. I love my independence as much as the next woman, but I also miss being with my friend.

It’s already getting dark outside and I have a lovely picturesque view of the beautiful orange and purple streaked sky. I lean against the wall next to the window, still in my coat and shoes, and take in the beautiful scenery. Bernard meows and rubs against my legs, pulling me from my daydream. I pick him up and cuddle him to my chest.

“How was your day, Bernard?” I ask him, fully expecting him to answer. Luckily, I’m not completely crazy because he starts meowing at me. I listen and reply to him. “Me too, Bernard. I had a long day but it was fun.” I kiss his furry head and he rubs against my chin. I smile. If anyone who could see me now they would think I was insane.

Who would have thought that two weeks ago my life had turned to shit? Now look at me. I don’t mind Mondays as much, I’m still struggling to wake up and go to work, but that will forever be a war between me and mornings, and I’m happy. When I think about it, my life before that fateful Monday wasn't as perfect as I thought it was. I thought I was happy but it’s clear now that I was just going through the motions. I wasn’t having fun, I wasn’t intimate with my boyfriend, I wasn’t seeing my friends as much as I wanted and I was surrounded by the wrong people. Losing everything was the wakeup call I so desperately needed to get my life back on track. I wouldn’t have wanted to wake up one day and realize that I let life pass me by and hadn’t done all the things I wanted to do like going sky diving, mountain climbing, hiking, travel the world with my friends, or at least go on road trips. I’m only twenty seven; I don’t need to live my life as if I were fifty. I need to go out, have fun and meet new people, even if I am socially awkward. I just want to live my life and have fun and today is the day I start over.

I smile to myself and set Bernard down on the floor. I take off my coat and hang it in the small closet that’s built into the wall by the front door. I take off my shoes and pull my hair into a messy bun. On my way to the bathroom, I pour myself a glass of red wine. I place my iPhone in the docking station, put on some music and strip. I turn on the shower and dance around whilst sipping my wine as I wait for the water to warm up.

I step in after a few seconds, singing along to Meghan Trainor’s 'All About That Bass' and wiggling my ass to the music. I take my time washing and deep conditioning my hair, I shave my legs and everywhere that needs it and use my cotton candy sugar scrub. I take my time to pamper myself. I feel happy, probably the happiest I’ve been in a long time.

I step out of the shower and grab one of my big fluffy towels and pat dry myself before wrapping it around myself. I feel good, I smell good, and damn it, I look good despite what that dipshit always told me about my extra weight. I smile at my reflection in the mirror and brush my hair before wrapping another towel around my head.

I pick up my half empty glass of wine and my phone and walk back to the kitchen to make a start on dinner. When I was unpacking on Sunday Spencer took the time to go out to buy some groceries for me and I’m not sure if it was a good idea or not because, from what I can see in my cupboards and fridge, he’s only bought healthy stuff. All of the snacks are either low carb, low cal or low fat and my fridge is stocked with vegetables. I look in the freezer section and grin when I see a tub of Ben and Jerry’s Cherry Garcia. He knows not to mess with my ice cream.

I grab what I need from the fridge and make myself some grilled lemon and mango chicken with sautéed vegetables. I had all of the stuff so I might as well eat healthy. I could’ve ordered a pizza, but new life, new me, right?

I fill Bernard's bowls with some of his wet and dry food before walking into the living room with my dinner. I sit in my big L shaped couch and turn on the TV. I settle on watching the TV series Scream whilst eating and texting Spencer. I must admit I felt slightly lonely not seeing him when I walked through the door, we had gotten into our own little routine that I actually miss, but I need this. I need to live on my own, at least for a little while.

I finish dinner, wash the dishes and allow myself a small bowl of ice cream before declaring to Bernard that it was time for bed. I’m exhausted; no doubt my hectic weekend is finally catching up with me. I hang my wet towels on the warm rack in the bathroom and walk to my bedroom, fully naked; completely forgetting that I still don’t have blinds, that the light is on and that people across the street will have a front seat view of me in my birthday suit. I run to my bed and jump under the duvet, covering myself up to my chin as if they can still see me naked.