Losing Me, Finding You(60)

The phone falls from my hand and hits the floor, bouncing a little before pausing to rest face up, so I can still see every little bead of sweat on his skin. I watch as Austin's dick pushes inside Mireya and try not to scream. Several emotions bombard me at once. The first, of course, is jealousy. I can only guess that this video predates me, but how should I know? It could be from one of Austin's famous disappearing acts. It could be from last night. I mean, that Mireya girl certainly acts like she owns him. How am I to know if there's still something going on between them?

The second emotion is anger. Raw, white hot anger. This video tells me that Mireya not only hates me and wants Austin back but also that she was the one. She was the one who sent the pool table video to my congregation. I squeeze my hands into fists at my sides, trying to control myself. Never in my life have I been this full of raw, hateful energy. I want to swirl down the halls and find Mireya, wrap her dark hair around my hand and slam her head into the wall.

Instead, I pick the phone up and tuck it nicely into my purse. Keep calm and carry on, Amy Cross, I tell myself. In the back of my mind, I hear another little whisper that says, Keep calm and beat Mireya Sawyer's ass. I open the door and force myself down the elevator and into the lobby where I'm guessing I might run into Gaine. When I find him, he's talking to someone in the lounge.

Oh, God, no.

I approach the table as calmly as I can, keeping a safe distance in case I explode.

When Mireya sees me, her perfectly sculpted brows raise up and a sultry smile stretches her lips.

“Good morning, Amy,” she says to me, tilting her head to one side. “I'm guessing you got the message?”

“I got a message,” I say, correcting her. Gaine looks between the two of us like he's trying to figure out what's going on, but his face remains blank. It doesn't matter anyway. This isn't between him and me, this is between me and Mireya, and I intend to keep it that way. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure, Amy,” she coos, picking at the red polish on her nails like she could give a shit less about me. “You go right ahead.”

“Why?” I ask her simply, keeping one hand on my purse strap and the other loosely by my side, just in case.

“Why what?” she asks, pausing to pick up her beer. I watch her long fingers close around the brown glass of the bottle as she lifts it to her red rouged lips and drinks deeply, neck pulsing as she swallows.

To be honest, Mireya is the girl I'll never be. She's tall and pretty and in control of herself. She exudes this aura of feminine confidence and power that I just don't have. I look at her in her skintight pants with her ebony hair glistening in an obsidian fall over her shoulder, and I just don't know what Austin could possibly get from me that he can't get from her. Mireya knows how to touch a man's body; I don't. She has history with him; I don't.

But I'm still going to fight. I'm going to fight because I think that maybe, just maybe, I might be falling in love. And there's still the issue of my family. I can't say yet whether what she did was a blessing or a curse, but she did it without asking and that isn't right. Besides, why send me a video of her having sex with him? What does she expect to get out of that? I won't give Austin up that easily. She should know. She's the same way, after all.

“Did you send the video of Austin and I having sex to my family and friends?”

Gaine's thick, dark brows shoot up, and he whistles under his breath, looking between me and Mireya like he isn't sure if he's going to have to break up a fight or not. I watch the beautiful biker chick, the one I both envy and hate, as she sets her drink down, turns fully to face me and smiles.

“Did you like watching him f*ck me, Amy? Did you like to see him inside of another woman? Tell me, how did that make you feel?”

“I didn't do anything wrong, Mireya,” I tell her, trying to keep my cool. “When he first met me, he asked me out for drinks and never said he was involved with anyone. If you'll beg my pardon for saying so, he doesn't share a room with you, he shares one with me. He carries me around on his bike and he holds me at night while I sleep. Now, I know I've only been here a few days, but do you think even one of those activities might come across as Austin being interested in me?”

Mireya sneers and her hand flies out, smacking the beer bottle and sending it spinning across the table and onto the floor where it shatters into a million pieces.

“Yeah, I sent that video, you little bitch. And if I had the chance to do it over, I wouldn't do it. You want to know why? Because Austin told me he was forced to take you after your family had abandoned you. How do you think that makes me feel, hmm? My boyfriend of ten years leaves me for you because he feels sorry for you.”

My whole body goes cold, and I stumble back into a decorative column. Her words feel like a baseball bat, pummeling me from all sides, making me weak and bruised, but I refuse to collapse. I can't give her the satisfaction of that. Besides, as much as her words hurt, I know they aren't true. Austin isn't a man that can be forced into anything. He asked me here because he saw something in me; I can see it in his eyes when he looks at me. He might not even know it's there yet, but it is. He's interested.

“Mireya, come on,” Gaine says, standing up and stepping between us. “You and Austin were never an item as far as he ever knew. I know you love him, baby, but you've got to let him go. He – ”