Losing Me, Finding You(18)

“I think you left your purse by the bar,” Christy says as I follow her out into the main area of the bar without looking back.

As promised, the girl with the bright red lipstick and dark hair is swinging her head around on the countertop, flashing the whole room her leather clad crotch as she spreads her legs open and drops her butt to the ground and then stands back up again. Maybe it's just me, but for some reason, I feel like she's watching me as I tiptoe up to the bar stools and grab my purse from the floor. “Coyote Ugly” wannabe, I whisper to myself as I back away and escape out the front doors and into the hot, hot heat of a Southern, summer night.




Chapter 15
I watch Amy go with a sinking feeling in my stomach, like maybe I should chase after her and grab by her the arm, drag her up to my room and get to know her a bit better. Even though we've just had sex, that feeling of wanting to own her hasn't subsided even a little. I don't feel any relief down below, like there's a f*cking fire burning inside of me, and I've got to put it out before it turns me to ash. Shit. What the f*ck did that girl do to you? I wonder as I stand stone still, aware that Mireya is making a fool out of herself for attention but unable to make myself care enough to go stop her. All I can think about is Amy and her tight *, her blue eyes and her swollen lips. She has a body that I can barely believe and a spark in her eyes that's made me curious, too curious.

“You alright?” Beck asks, leaning against one of the heavy doors to keep it open, like he's waiting for me to join him or something. The thought of going back into that bar is making me sick to my stomach. Maybe I'll slip out the back and head up to my room; I need to think some of this shit out. Plus, I figure, I'm still horny as hell and could use some alone time.

“Fine,” I tell him, patting myself down in search of a cigarette. I can still smell Amy on me, all flowers and sweet sugar, like she was dipped in a friggin' meadow or some shit.

I stop myself and close my eyes, taking long, slow deep breaths to get a hold of myself.

“That good, huh?” Beck asks.

“Shut your f*cking mouth,” I say, slipping my cigarette between my lips and opening my eyes. When I said that no woman had ever had this effect on me, I meant it. I can even remember my own last name right now.

“She the one Gaine said you chased down at the dress store?”

“Bridal shop.”

“That her?”

I don't answer him right away, bending down to fish out the world's ugliest pair o' panties that I've ever laid eyes on from under the pool table. I stuff 'em in my back pocket before Beck can see and stand up.

“Yup, that's her,” I respond, glancing around for the exit. My eyes land on the sign just a second too late, drawn back towards the bar entrance and Diamond's smiling face.

“Austin,” she begins and whatever it is that she wants, I know I'm not going to like. I watch her run her skinny fingers up Beck's arm and try not to hate him for liking her so damn much. Despite my warnings to the contrary, Beck likes to play games with Melissa, and I always wonder if the next time is going to be the last, if the Pres is gonna catch the two of 'em at it like rabbits and smash his skull in with a baseball bat. It could happen. Hell, the bitch might even rat him out because well, that's just the type of person that Mel is. “Kent wants to talk to you, if you've got a minute.”

What she means is, I better damn well make a minute to come talk to Kent.

I sigh and light up, wondering if I should mention Amy now or wait out the rest of the festival, see what happens. I like the girl, sure, but do I want her to join my MC? Do I want to drag her around the country with me? After all, she doesn't have a ride of her own – doubt she's ever even sat on the back of a bike. She'd be mine to take care of, and I'm not sure I'm ready for anything like that. She was a good f*ck, sure, but maybe that's all she is? A hot lay that'll fade into the distant background of my memory like most girls. Course, I'm thinking all this shit now, but when I had my hands on her hips and my dick inside of her, I was singin' a different tune. Shit.

I follow Beck and Melissa back into the bar, carefully keeping my eyes diverted away from Mireya. She wants me to look at her, even seems kind of desperate for it, but I can't. I can't look at her after Amy and let her see in my face what I'm thinking and how I feel. I think she could sense something after the bridal shop, but I don't see how confirming her worst fears is going to help. One look at Amy and I was stuck. Mireya and I have been on and off for years, and still, I don't want to own her like I do Amy. Maybe she wants that, maybe not, but I can't let her see, not yet. I can't let her see that a girl I don't even know has got me enraptured, pulled under like I've been cursed. Maybe it's best if I don't say anything to Kent right now. I don't know what that girl's done to me, but I can't let it trip me up.

I've got other things to worry about.

Beck veers away and joins Gaine at a table near the front, leaving me to slide into a booth across from Kent. Melissa slips in next to him and straddles his lap, effectively blocking my view of his face. Fucking bitch, I think as she starts kissing Kent's neck and showing me that she could give a f*ck less about who we are and what we do. I bet she doesn't even have a clue what Triple M actually stands for.

“What?” I snap. Kent might be the president of our MC, but that doesn't mean I have to take his shit. He knows that; I know that. Most of the time we keep out of each other's way, but not this time. This time, we've got outside influences. The enemy of my enemy is my friend and all that bullshit and nonsense.