Lord Sebastian's Secret (The Duke's Sons #3)(56)

“Thank you, ma’am,” replied Randolph with a smile and a small bow.

Georgina held out the volume. Sebastian’s brother took it. “Where did you leave off?” he inquired courteously.

“Nowhere,” answered Georgina, holding her father’s gaze. “Papa refused to let us begin.”

Her father made a little gesture, like a fencer conceding a hit, and smiled. But it wasn’t amusing. This wasn’t a game; it wasn’t one of his philosophical disputes, where opponents scored points on one another with their cleverness. He was toying with her future. She couldn’t allow him to continue this.

Randolph read from the beginning of the rousing tale of the Jacobite rebellion. As usual, he did a splendid job, holding his audience rapt. It was the sort of story that Sebastian might have enjoyed, had he not endured the preceding scene. As it was, he sat in an armchair in the corner and brooded, not even trying to place himself beside Georgina, as he would have any other evening.

He couldn’t decide which was more embarrassing—his inability to fulfill his host’s request, or the intensity of the rescue efforts. Georgina and Randolph had sprung into action like mother bears defending their cubs. With his brother, it was understandable. The sons of the Duke of Langford naturally rallied to assist each other, no matter how trivial the cause. And Randolph had had years to notice his…limitations, though he had never said anything. Now Sebastian had to wonder whether Georgina had begun to see through him as well. Why had she thrown herself so fiercely into the fray? It was humiliating; he should be taking care of her.

As Randolph reached a particularly gripping section of the tale, Sebastian studied her face from the side. She didn’t notice his gaze, as she often did, and turn to meet it. Like the rest, she was transfixed by his brother’s voice. He couldn’t tell how she felt.

Perhaps he shouldn’t have come to Stane Castle so soon, Sebastian thought. He’d given Georgina too much time to observe him. He should have swooped in, married her, and carried her off before she could discover what a dunce he was.

And in that moment, it occurred to Sebastian that this might not be fair. Was it deceitful, even dishonorable, to hide his failings? Was he obliged to tell Georgina before the wedding? But would she still wish to marry him if all was revealed? He couldn’t bear the idea that she might not.

Sebastian fought an urge to leap up and rush out of this stuffy room, although he desperately needed to move. His thoughts were always clearer when he was on his feet, in action, and he needed to think. But leaving would be rude and draw yet more unwanted attention. He had to stay put.

And so he sat, frustrated, and wrestled with a question he’d never considered before in his life. Was it his duty to confess all his secrets to Georgina? With his family, this had never been an issue. They’d always been there. They were…simply the ground of his existence. They’d had ample time to conclude whatever they wished about him, and they took him as they found him. His friends did the same, for different reasons. Sebastian knew he was valued as a loyal comrade and convivial companion, admired for his sporting and military prowess. What lay beneath the surface was nothing to his cronies.

But Georgina was a different matter. For now, she fell somewhere between the two categories. Sebastian grappled with the distinction. He’d charmed her as he did his friends. But she was to become part of his family. Actually, it felt as if she already was. She’d promised herself to him for life. As he’d seen with his parents, this was a commitment that demanded more than surfaces.

Sebastian shifted uneasily in his chair, Randolph’s voice becoming a drone in the background. Along with the physical delights they’d already sampled, he and Georgina would face challenges and sorrows together. There would be problems to solve. No one escaped difficulties. Didn’t she deserve to know what sort of man she’d have at her side? He’d told her outright that she was cleverer, but that wasn’t the whole of it. If…when…a day came and he failed her, would she blame him? An even bleaker thought followed this one. Perhaps what she really deserved was a quicker, wiser man to be her partner.

This last thought was like a blow, and it roused immediate rebellion. He didn’t care. He wouldn’t give her up. If that was selfish…well, then it was. In any case, it was too late for scruples; they’d already consummated their bond by the pool in the ravine. Sebastian felt a touch of shame at this conclusion, and an answering glimmer of exultation. Georgina was his. He’d simply have to find a way to be worthy of her.

He wondered if other people found impending marriage so complicated. He’d have sworn that Nathaniel felt no such conflicts as he stood beside him at the altar. But then, his eldest brother had been marrying for the dukedom, not for his own gratification. Fleetingly, he hoped that his brother had found a bit of happiness in the match as well. What had Randolph said about a carriage race?

Sebastian was startled by a round of applause. Randolph had finished his reading. Long familiar with his brother’s skills, he easily joined the chorus of praise.

“You should go on the stage,” said Emma, her eyes bright with admiration.

“He’s a clergyman,” chided Georgina.

Randolph smiled, setting the book aside. “I admit I’ve enjoyed taking part in a few amateur theatricals.”

“I’m sure you were wonderful,” declared Emma, throwing Georgina a triumphant glance.