Long Way Home(111)

The kitchen was quiet for a moment. Then Ruthie spoke behind me, her voice soft and hesitant. “Jim didn’t leave us, Gisela. He came here.”

I whirled around to face her. “What? When?”

She backed up a step to lean against the sink. “Jim came here just like he promised, but you weren’t here. Uncle Aaron sent him away.”

“What are you talking about? Why didn’t you tell me?”

Ruthie wouldn’t meet my gaze. “I wanted to tell you, but Uncle Aaron made me promise I wouldn’t. He said there was no point in upsetting you.”

“Why would it upset me? I’ve been waiting for him to come.”

Uncle Aaron came in through the back door just then, and I scrambled to my feet to confront him. “Is it true that my friend Jim came to see me here? And you sent him away?”

“Of course I sent him away. I told him you had only used him to get to America, and now that you’re here, you didn’t need his help anymore. You’re Jewish and you belong here, with your family, with other Jews.”

We had been talking rapidly in German, and I could see that Peggy was confused. I quickly explained what my uncle had said, then turned back to my sister. “You heard all of this? And you never told me?”

She looked frightened. “I-I thought it was true and that you really did feel that way. I thought you told Uncle Aaron to say those things. Besides, I know you love Sam and you’re still hoping he’s alive. And . . . and I didn’t want to move again. We have a home here.”

“What did Jim say? How did he react?”

“It was like . . . like he was shocked. Like he couldn’t believe it. He said you needed him, and Uncle Aaron said no, you didn’t need him anymore—”

“I told him to hand over the marriage papers so I could have it annulled,” Uncle Aaron interrupted. “That was your intent, wasn’t it? The marriage was a fake. I told him to go home. The war is over and it isn’t his job to save you or take care of you. I told him this was what you wanted.”

“Jim wanted to see you one more time,” Ruthie said, “but Uncle Aaron said—”

“I told him you didn’t want to see him. That it was better this way.”

I didn’t know what to say or do or where to turn. Learning what Uncle Aaron had done devastated me, just as his words must have devastated Jim. I remembered Jim saying his work as a medic and helping me were the only things keeping him sane. If he believed I had used him and then was rejecting him . . . it must have pushed him over the edge.

“Uncle Aaron, how could you?” I turned away, too furious to face him. “I should have known Jim wouldn’t walk away without saying goodbye,” I told Ruthie. “He wasn’t like that. He wouldn’t have deserted me without a word of explanation. Not after going through so much to make sure I got here. But I didn’t have his family’s address. I had no idea how to get in touch with him.”

Uncle Aaron grew angry at this. “You don’t need to get in touch with him. I forbid it! So many of our people died, Gisela. And you decide to marry a Gentile? Have children with him? Then what? Raise them as Christians? I can’t allow that. You owe it to your father and mother, and to all of the other people who died, to remain a Jew. To rebuild our people.”

“Why didn’t God save us from the Nazis if He was so worried about our people?” I shouted. “He had plenty of chances to do it. All those years when we were being persecuted, I kept waiting for the Red Sea to part, waiting for Pharaoh’s horsemen and chariots to drown, Jericho’s walls to crumble. But He didn’t do it!”

“Who are we to understand God’s ways?” he replied.

“That’s not an answer! It’s a worthless excuse!” I was furious with my uncle and furious with myself for believing Jim could have deserted me. But I couldn’t waste time yelling. I suddenly knew what I needed to do. “I want to go back with you, Peggy, and help you take care of Jim. Is that possible? I’m a nurse. Jim and I understand each other.”

“He’s still in the hospital.”

“Then we must get him out of there. We’ll help him. You and me. Is there a place where I can stay? With you, maybe?”

“Yes, with me and Jimmy’s parents. They would love to meet you. I’m sure they’ll let you stay.”

“Are you Jim’s girlfriend?” She was pretty enough to be. And she seemed to have his gentle spirit.

“Just a friend. I’ve known Jimmy for a long time.”

I turned to my uncle, still furious with him. “I can’t help in the bakery anymore,” I told him in German. “I’m leaving with Peggy.”

“Just like that? You are running off—who knows where? With this stranger?”

“Jim helped me when I needed it, and now he needs my help. You understand, don’t you, Ruthie?” I asked, turning to my sister.

“Are you mad at me?” she asked.

“No, not at all,” I said, pulling her into my arms. “But you know Jim. You know I need to straighten this out and help him.”

“Are you going to stay there? Stay married to him?”

I smoothed her dark hair from her face. “We were never really husband and wife. But he’s hurting, and it’s partly my fault, and I need to help him find a reason to live.” I went into the crowded bedroom that Ruthie and I shared with our cousins and quickly packed my bag.