Lola & the Millionaires: Part One (Sweet Omegaverse #2)(105)
“I love you too,” I said.
Leo’s high shoulders sagged and just like that, so easy, Leo was beaming again. I squeezed his hand that waited for me on the bed, and he tugged on it, drawing me into his lap.
I kissed his chin and then softly against his lips, a little bit of a coffee flavor in his answering sigh. “Sorry. That was the important bit, wasn’t it?”
“Mhm, this is more of the reception I was looking for,” he murmured, resting his temple against mine and wrapping his arms tight around me. “I never really talked to you about Odette, did I? To be honest, after hearing everything with Buzz and Indy, it just didn’t seem right to compare.”
“It’s not like that.”
“I know,” Leo said, nodding. He sucked in a deep breath and moved us to lean against the padded headboard. “And there’s a relevant bit in all of it, about how I work with the pack—”
“Leo, I know you belong with them,” I said.
“Yeah, I do, and your logic on why you wouldn’t doesn’t hold up,” Leo said, arching an eyebrow at me. “But for now, let’s skim through the Odette saga. Um, let’s see… So, she hired me before I even had my license or anything. She said a lot about me having potential, but I think she just saw something she wanted in me. She’s into young, vulnerable betas. The relationship happened…quickly, probably within my first month working for her. There was a rumor going around the firm that Odette had been rejected by several omegas, but later Matthieu said she wasn’t ever a member of the Omega Center. I think she might’ve circulated the rumor herself as emotional bait. Made us feel like she needed us.”
Leo huffed and rolled his shoulders, brow furrowed, and I turned in his lap to face him. His hands settled on my hips and he continued, eyes watching his own fingers stroke my skin. “She was more careful, but she fed me a lot of the same bullshit that those assholes gave you. She needed me, but I would never be everything she needed, that kind of shit. Enough to make me feel valuable but also worth less than others. When I first met Rake, I kind of hated him, but I was also curious because he was exactly what I was supposed to be. Rake saw right through her shit, knew exactly how she had me pinned, so he kept getting in touch with me.”
“Nothing if not persistent,” I said, and Leo nodded. I dug my fingers into his neck and shoulders, and his eyes fell shut, the tension melting away off of his features.
“The more time I spent around Rake and, you know, his magical ability to just shine on you, the more fractures there were with my relationship with Odette. He was feeding me the self-worth she’d tried to starve out of me. And then Rake started inviting me to the house, and I met Caleb and… I think I was already in love with Rake, but I noticed it right away with Caleb. Rake was only bonded to Cyrus at the time, he and Caleb were friends, but Rake was trying to prove he wouldn’t be Mr. Omega At Home for the pack. Caleb is such a steadying influence, I think he spooked Rake or vice versa.
“I felt like a bridge between them at first. Rake and I started having sex, I broke up with Odette and immediately got fired, and Caleb was just…he was there, but he was careful with me. He knew he and Rake had to cleanse me of all of the bullshit Odette had fed me before I’d really see that I wasn’t a stand-in for Rake.” Leo widened his eyes significantly at me, and I pinched the back of his neck to make him continue. “And while they were helping me, they fell in love too. I would say I knew for certain that Caleb loved me as much as he loved Rake before the three of us bonded, but to be honest I probably still had doubts. The bond eliminated those completely. And before you say anything about bonds, I am cutting you off right now. Neither of us can know how your relationships will develop with anyone in the pack, but you’ve got to stop telling yourself they’re dead in the water just because you’re a beta, or whatever it is you think makes you not good enough for us. If it weren’t for me, Caleb and Rake might never have fallen in love. Without you—”
Leo sucked in another breath, and I stopped him. “You’re right.”
His mouth hung open, words frozen in a pause and his eyes narrowed, making me laugh at his suspicion.
“I’m letting Buzz do the talking in my head, but before all of that, I was still…pretty brutal with myself,” I admitted. “He just confirmed—”
“He did not confirm anything, he twisted—”
“Okay, yes, he preyed on anxieties I’d been cultivating for a long time,” I said, and Leo nodded and sighed. I opened my mouth to tell him about my mother and then changed my mind. “I’m going to start looking for a therapist.”
“I have one I can recommend.”
I resisted the smirk. “I’m going to start looking for one I can afford.”
“But—”
“Leo, you can check in on this with me, but I’m handling it,” I said, firmly.
Leo’s lips quirked. “Yes ma’am. And you’re gonna let this pack thing marinate in your head? I just, I don’t want it to overwhelm you and make you…”
“Fritz?” I suggested, the word I’d used before in a similar situation.
Leo nodded. “No one’s going to toy with you, Lola.”
I could still get hurt, even if it was done innocently. I could hurt them too; there were no guarantees in this. But if that was only anxiety talking, then I owed it to myself to get that shit sorted. There was no one in the world more perfect than Leo and his pack. I needed to know if the dread that beat in my veins—that I would inevitably disappoint them and have to live with that knowledge every day—was more than just my imagination.