Lock and Key(47)

Suddenly, it hit me. He was going to tell me I had to leave. Of course. The very minute I allowed myself to relax, they would decide they’d had enough of me. Even worse, as I thought this, I felt my breath catch, suddenly realizing how much I didn’t want it to happen.

“The thing is . . .” Jamie said, and now I could hear my heart in my ears. “It’s about college.”

This last word—college—landed in my ears with a clunk. It was like he’d said Minnesota or fried chicken, that unexpected. “College,” I repeated.

“You are a senior,” he said as I sat there, still blinking, trying to decide if I should be relieved or more nervous. “And while you haven’t exactly had the best semester—not your fault, of course—you did take the SATs last year, and your scores weren’t bad. I was just in talking to the guidance office. Even though it’s already November, they think that if we really hustle, we can still make the application deadlines.”

“You went to the guidance office?” I asked.

“Yeah,” he said. I must have looked surprised, because then he added, “I know, I know. This is more Cora’s department. But she’s in court all week, and besides, we decided that maybe . . .”

I glanced over at him as he trailed off, leaving this unfinished. “You decided maybe what?”

He looked embarrassed. “That it was better for me to bring this up with you. You know, since Cor was kind of tough on you about your job at first, and the therapy thing. She’s tired of being the bad guy.”

An image of a cartoon character twirling a mustache as they tied someone to the train tracks immediately popped into my head. “Look,” I said, “school isn’t really part of my plans.”

“Why not?”

I probably should have had an answer to this, but the truth was that I’d never actually been asked it before. Everyone else assumed the same thing that I had from day one: girls like me just didn’t go further than high school, if they even got that far. “It’s just . . .” I said, stalling. “It’s not really been a priority.”

Jamie nodded slowly. “It’s not too late, though.”

“I think it is.”

“But if it isn’t?” he asked. “Look, Ruby. I get that this is your choice. But the thing is, the spring is a long way away. A lot could change between now and then. Even your mind.”

I didn’t say anything. The student parking lot was almost empty now, except for a couple of girls with field-hockey sticks and duffel bags sitting on the curb.

“How’s this,” he said. “Just make a deal with me and agree to apply. That way, you’re not ruling anything out. Come spring, you still decide what happens next. You just have more options.”

“You’re assuming I’ll get in somewhere. That’s a big assumption. ”

“I’ve seen your transcripts. You’re not a bad student.”

“I’m no brain, either.”

“Neither was I,” he said. “In fact, in the interest of full disclosure, I’ll tell you I wasn’t into the idea of higher education, either. After high school, I wanted to take my guitar and move to New York to play in coffeehouses and get a record deal.”

“You did?”

“Yup.” He smiled, running his hand over the steering wheel. “However, my parents weren’t having it. I was going to college, like it or not. So I ended up at the U, planning to leave as soon as I could. The first class I took was coding for computers.”

“And the rest is history,” I said.

“Nah.” He shook his head. “The rest is now.”

I eased my grip on my bag, letting it rest on the floorboard between my feet. The truth was, I liked Jamie. So much that I wished I could just be honest with him and say the real reason that even applying scared me: it was one more connection at a time when I wanted to be doing the total opposite. Yes, I’d decided to stay here as long as I had to, but only because really, I’d had no choice. If I went to college—at least this way, with him and Cora backing me— I’d be in debt, both literally and figuratively, at the one time when all I wanted was to be free and clear, owing no one anything at all.

Sitting there, though, I knew I couldn’t tell him this. So instead, I said, “So I guess you never have regrets. Wish you’d gone to New York, like you wanted.”

Jamie sat back, leaning his head on the seat behind him. “Sometimes I do. Like on a day like today, when I’m dealing with this new advertising campaign, which is making me nuts. Or when everyone in the office is whining and I think my head’s going to explode. But it’s only in moments. And anyway, if I hadn’t gone to the U, I wouldn’t have met your sister. So that would have changed everything.”

“Right,” I said. “How did you guys meet, anyway?”

“Talk about being the bad guy.” He chuckled, looking down at the steering wheel, then explained, “She doesn’t exactly come across that well in the story.”

I had to admit I was intrigued now. “Why not?”

“Because she yelled at me,” he said flatly. I raised my eyebrows. “Okay, she’d say she didn’t yell, that she was just being assertive. But her voice was raised. That’s indisputable. ”