Lock and Key(116)

I did my best to distract Nate from all this, dragging him to movies at the Vista 10 (where we got free popcorn and admission, thanks to Olivia), hanging out with Roscoe, and taking extended coffee trips to Jump Java. He didn’t go back to Perkins, as Cora had arranged for him to finish the little bit of work he had left via correspondence or online, and every afternoon as I came up the front walk, I was nervous, calling out to him the minute I stepped in the door. I finally understood what Jamie and Cora had gone through with me those first few weeks, if only from the relief I felt every time I heard his voice responding.

All the while, though, I knew he soon wouldn’t be there. But I never talked to him about this. He had enough to worry about, and what mattered most was that I was just there for him, however he needed me to be. Still, the morning of his flight, when I came downstairs to find him in the foyer, his bags at his feet, I felt that same twist in my stomach.

I wasn’t the only one upset. Cora sniffled through the entire good-bye, hugging him repeatedly, a tissue clutched in her hand. “Now, I’ll call you tonight, just to make sure you’re getting settled in,” she told him. “And don’t worry about things on this end. It’s all handled.”

“Okay,” Nate said. “Thanks again. For everything.”

“Don’t be a stranger, all right?” Jamie told him, giving him a bear hug and a back slap. “You’re family now.”

Family, I thought as we pulled out of the driveway. The neighborhood was still asleep, houses dark as we drove out past those big stone pillars, and I remembered how I’d felt, coming in all those months ago, with everything so new and different.

“Are you nervous?” I asked Nate as we pulled out onto the main road.

“Not really,” he replied, sitting back. “It’s all kind of surreal, actually.”

“It’ll hit you eventually,” I told him. “Probably at the exact moment it’s too late to come back.”

He smiled. “But I am coming back,” he said. “I just have to survive Arizona and my mother first.”

“You think it’ll be that bad?”

“I have no idea. It isn’t like she chose for me to come there. She’s only doing this because she has to.”

I nodded, slowing for a light. “Well, you never know. She might surprise you,” I said. He did not look convinced, so I added, “Either way, don’t decide to pack it in the first night, or jump any fences. Give it a few days.”

“Right,” he said slowly, looking over at me. “Any other advice? ”

I switched lanes, merging onto the highway. It was so early, we had all the lanes to ourselves. “Well,” I said, “if there’s some annoying neighbor who tries to make nice with you, don’t be a total jerk to them.”

“Because you might need them later,” he said. “To take you out of the woods, or something.”

“Exactly.”

I felt him look at me but didn’t say anything as we came up to the airport exit. As I took it, circling around, I could see a plane overhead—just a sliver of white, heading up, up, up.

At the terminal, even at this early hour, there were a fair amount of people, heading off, arriving home. The sun was coming up now, the sky streaked with pink overhead as we unloaded his stuff, piling it on the curb beside him. “All right,” I said. “Got everything?”

“Think so,” he said. “Thanks for the ride.”

“Well, I did kind of owe you,” I said, and he smiled. “But there is one more thing, actually.”

“What’s that?”

“Even if you do make tons of new friends,” I told him, “try not to forget where you came from, okay?”

He looked down at me. “I seriously doubt that could happen.”

“You’d be surprised,” I told him. “New place, new life. It’s not hard to do.”

“I think,” he said, “that I’ll have plenty to remind me.”

I hoped this was true. Even if it wasn’t, all I could do was hand over what I could, with the hope of something in return. But of course, this was easier said than done. Ever since Christmas, I’d been trying to come up with the perfect gift for Nate, something phenomenal that might come close to all he’d given me. Once again, I thought I had nothing to offer. But then I looked down and realized I was wrong.

The clasp of my necklace was stubborn at first, and when I took the key to the yellow house off, I noticed how worn it was. Especially in comparison to the bright, shiny new one to Jamie and Cora’s, which I slid onto the chain in its place. Then I took Nate’s hand, turning it upward, and pressed them both into his palm.

“Well,” I said, “just in case.”

He nodded, wrapping his hand around the necklace, and my hand, as well. This time, I let my palm relax against his, feeling the warmth there and pressing back, before stepping in closer. Then I reached up, sliding my hand behind his neck and pulling him in for a kiss, closing that space between us once and for all.

In the weeks since, Nate and I had been in constant contact, both by phone and on UMe.com. My page, long inactive, was now not only up and running but full of extras, thanks to Olivia, who helped me set it up and tweaked it on a regular basis. So far, I’d only accrued a few friends—her, Nate, Gervais, as well as Jamie, who sent me more messages than anyone—although I had lots of photos, including a couple Nate had sent of him at his new job, lifeguarding at a pool near his mom’s house. He was swimming every day now, working on his times and getting back into shape; he said it was slow progress, but he was seeing improvements, bit by bit. Sometimes at night in my room when I couldn’t sleep, I imagined him in the pool, crossing its length again and again, stroke by even stroke.