Like a Memory(31)

“Us farm girls from Alabama can surprise even you I guess.” I didn’t wait for him to respond. Instead, I walked straight to the back where he wouldn’t be able to say more or Octavia would hear him. He knew I’d heard. That was all that had to be said.

Nate and I had no past, present, or future as far as I was concerned.

Now, to find those feathers.



Nate Finlay

MOTHERFUCKER.

Dammit to hell! Of all the things for Bliss to hear me say that was the absolute last thing I’d ever want her to hear. It was all bullshit. I was trying to save her job. To reassure Octavia and it backfired in my f*cking face.

I had to go outside. To my truck. Away from it all. So, I could get control of my mouth. Because right now all I wanted to do was explain to Bliss why I’d said it and not give a damn if Octavia heard me. Which would hurt Bliss more. Not help.

But that look in her eyes was devastating. It said more than the unconcerned expression she was using to hide the pain. She hadn’t been able to mask it. I’d wounded her bad.

I rubbed my hand over my chest to ease some of the ache there. I didn’t want her to hurt. Fuck I didn’t want to make her do anything but smile. She lit up a room when she smiled. Anyone who would extinguish that didn’t deserve to breathe. Bliss was as close to perfect as a female got and what I’d done was killing me.

I stared at the closed door and weighed my options. I could go back in there and explain it to her. Fix this. Tell her exactly how I felt about her. How I was in awe of her. Or I could let her keep her job and go see her later.

Tonight.

After work. At her apartment.

That was what I’d do. Her place was safe. Octavia wouldn’t see me there and she wouldn’t know I’d talked to Bliss. She wouldn’t know anything. I started for the door and stopped. I couldn’t look at Bliss again and keep my mouth shut. I didn’t want her to think I meant those words and if she flashed me those shining, pretty blue eyes, so full of hurt again I would crack and blurt it all out.

I went back to my truck and jerked the door open then climbed inside. I’d go somewhere else for the day. I could call Octavia and make up some excuse why I had to go. I wasn’t her bitch and that store wasn’t my responsibility. If I didn’t want to work in it, I didn’t have to.

Driving around I’d ignored three text from Octavia. Funny, when she didn’t need me, she never texted. That suddenly annoyed me. I was thankful she didn’t drive me nuts just two weeks ago.

Bliss had changed it all. She hadn’t meant to but she had. Seeing her and being near her made me question just how happy I actually was with this life I had planned out. I’d caught myself thinking about how I missed drama in my life and for me that was crazy talk. For most men that was crazy talk.

Though Bliss wasn’t dramatic. She would mean more. Need more. And I wasn’t sure I could handle either. She deserved it all. After the shit she’d been through she deserved a prince and I wasn’t one of those. I was more like the bad boy. The one you spend a little time with then move on along.

Octavia got that. She was okay with me and how I was. Somehow that didn’t matter so much anymore. I pulled into Bliss’s parking lot and picked up my phone. Octavia’s three text were:

Where are you?

Can you get some storage shelves?

I’ve got to go for the day. Bliss is closing up. I’ll see you tonight.

That was it. She didn’t keep asking where I was. She didn’t call me. She didn’t seem to give a f*ck. What man didn’t want that? A stupid one.

I texted back:

“I thought I’d take a drive and go see Grandpop. See you tonight. “

That was all she would require. No more explanation. Nothing.

A simple “K” was Octavia’s reply.

Easy. So damn easy. But was easy what I really wanted? Was it what anyone really wanted?

I walked from my parked truck to Bliss’s condo and tried to think of how I would explain this. What I would say. How I would say it. Nothing sounded good enough. I was just going to wing it and apologize. Tell her the truth. Get that hurt look out of her eyes. God, that was hard to see.

When I stopped outside her door I could hear voices inside. More than just her and Eli. Several. Loud voices laughing and talking. Like they were having a party. I thought real hard about if I wanted to do this right now. Maybe I should wait. I’d wanted to get her alone. Not with a condo full of people.

Those eyes were haunting me though and I had to fix this. I knocked. The sound didn’t lessen and I wondered if they’d even heard me. Should I knock louder? They needed a damn doorbell.

Before I could think too much about it the door swung open and Bliss was standing there. I saw people behind her but I couldn’t focus on what was going on in the room. All I could see was her. She went from smiling to a frown immediately. Then there was a flash of anger in her eyes.

“I need to talk to you,” I said before she could slam the door in my face. I wasn’t sure if she would do that but in case I wasn’t taking a chance.

“I heard enough,” she replied curtly. Then, like her knight in shining armor, Eli was beside her. The scowl on his face said he knew. She’d told him. He wanted to bash my face in and I didn’t blame him. Although he shouldn’t try it, Eli wasn’t a match for me.

“What you heard and what was really happening are two different things. Your job was on the line, Bliss. She thought I was attracted to you. I had to do something to fix it.”