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Glutton for punishment that I am, when I reached the doors to the bathroom I turned back for one final look at Finn, knowing that, in all likelihood, it was the last glimpse I'd ever have of him. The tears I'd been holding off finally broke free, building in my eyes and spilling over as I found him in the crowd. He was standing exactly where I'd left him; eyes turned to look at that damn Ferris wheel with a contemplative look on his face, as if he were seeking the answer to a particularly difficult equation.

He was perfection, from roots of his messy dark hair down to the slightly scuffed toes of his favorite black motorcycle boots. And, even though I was supposed to hate him, in that moment all I could do was drink in his image – like a woman dying of thirst in the middle of a desert, staring at the oasis she would never reach.

When the tears had begun running too fast to see straight, I turned and ran into the bathroom. Pulling my cellphone from my pocket, I dialed Lexi. Thankfully, she answered on the second ring.

“Brookie! How's your birthday going, babe?”

“Lexi.” My voice was broken. I had nothing left – no more will to even pretend I was remotely okay. “Please. I need you to come get me.”

“Okay,” she agreed immediately, no questions asked. That in itself spoke volumes about the shattered desperation she heard in my voice. “Where are you?”

I told her, and she agreed to meet me by the side entrance in ten minutes. When I made her promise not to tell Ty where she was going, I knew she was catching on that this concerned Finn, but she didn't say anything.

I slipped out the back door of the restrooms, looking over my shoulder to make sure Finn hadn't spotted me, and disappeared into the crowds. As I lost myself in the mob of joyful fair-goers, slowly winding toward the east park exit, I let my tears fall to the ground and wished, with everything I had left in me, that I could forget Finn Chambers and move on with my life.

I'd probably have had better luck wishing for a lifetime supply of calorie-free chocolate or an all-inclusive trip to the moon and back.

***

He was much faster than I’d anticipated.

The calls had started almost as soon as I’d hung up with Lexi. I’d turned my phone off, unable to even see his name appear on screen without feeling sick.

I’d been home all of five minutes when the pounding on the front door began, loud enough that it could be heard behind the closed door of my bedroom. Lexi stared at me with a bewildered expression when I walked into the kitchen and told her in no uncertain terms that she wasn’t allowed to let him in. I didn’t care what he said, what he did – under no circumstances did I want to see or talk to him.

“Bee!” he yelled, his fists slamming against the wooden door so hard it shook in its frame. “What the hell is going on?”

I leaned against the kitchen counter for support.

“Tell me what I did.” His voice was desperate, shattered. Lexi stared from me to the door and back, a horrified look on her face.

“Brooklyn! Please!”

I closed my eyes so I didn’t have to see her judgmental expression.

“Princess, just talk to me. We can fix this, please, just don’t shut me out.”

It went on like that for nearly an hour, until his voice grew hoarse and he’d run out of air. When he finally gave up, I opened my eyes, took one look at Lexi, and hightailed it from the room.

“Not so fast!” she yelled, racing after me and throwing out her arms to stop me from shutting my bedroom door in her face. “You owe me one hell of an explanation. First, you make me pick you up from the fair, in tears and barely breathing, and now Finn is here, banging on our door like a lunatic, and I can’t let him in?” She stared at me, eyes wide. “What. The. Fuck. Happened. Today?”

“He’s not who I thought he was, okay?” My voice sounded like a stranger’s.

“Uh, no. Not okay,” Lexi said, pushing my door all the way open and forcing me to back up from the doorway as she stormed into my room. She sat on the bed, crossed her arms over her chest menacingly, and leveled me with her best glare. “Now explain, or I’m not helping you anymore. Which means, I can answer the door for whoever comes a’knocking.”

I glared at her.

She tapped her foot impatiently.

“He lied to me. About how we knew each other, about how we’d met. About everything. He’s been lying to me since that day I tripped over the fire hydrant, Lex. And I can’t talk about it,” I said, my voice cracking as I pleaded with her to understand. “Not because I’m being a bitch, and not because I want to shut you out. Because I literally cannot talk about it. It hurts too damn much.” I took a deep breath and tilted my head upwards to fend off the building tears.

“Oh, Brooklyn,” Lexi whispered, tears filling her own eyes. “Come here.” She pulled me down into a bone-crushing hug, and suddenly, I was weeping in her arms, gasping for breath as I swam upstream in a tidal wave of grief and heartbreak and betrayal.

I don’t know how long we sat there on my bed, both crying our eyes out, but when I eventually ran out of tears it was pitch black outside my windows; full night had fallen hours ago. Lexi kissed my cheek and said goodnight, wiping her eyes as she headed out into the hallway. When the door closed behind her, I collapsed on my bed, curling up in a ball of misery.

I must have drifted off to sleep at some point, exhausted from my crying jag.