Like Gravity(67)

It wasn’t like that for me.

It wasn’t a slow epiphany, or an awareness that I’d floated down into love weeks ago, without ever realizing it.

It was as sudden as a flashflood, as violent and terrifying as diving headfirst off the side of a skyscraper. I hadn’t fallen; No, I was free-falling – spiraling down into an abyss and waiting for the ground to rush up and meet me.

I didn’t even bother to brace for impact, because my landing was inevitable. Gravity was pushing me down, speeding my descent. Faster, faster, faster, I crashed down into love, with no hopes of ever pulling myself back up the side of building to safety.

When the pavement below came into view, canvased in a sidewalk-chalk tableau of broken hearts and crushed expectations, I waited for the forthcoming pain of impact. My arms didn’t flail, my legs didn’t bicycle the air. With detached acceptance, I anticipated the hit; the splintering of bones, the splattering of flesh and marrow on concrete as love – that horrible, destructive, immovable force – destroyed every atom and particle of my being.

So, when that inevitable crash happened – when I landed so hard against the realization I that loved Finn, it stole my breath and nearly made me stop singing – I was shocked that no parts of me shattered.

My bones didn’t break, my lifeblood didn’t spill, my heart wasn’t pulverized. Instead I felt the telltale crumble of every wall I’d ever barricaded my heart with, as they fractured to dust against the ground.

When the debris settled, and I found myself standing unharmed at the bottom of an impossibly tall skyscraper, I realized that I’d done it.

I’d jumped. And, more importantly, I’d survived the fall.

The walls I’d so meticulously constructed to keep everyone out had cushioned my fall and were now simply gone, as though they’d never existed in the first place.

I loved Finn Chambers – I freaking loved him – and there wasn’t a single barrier left to keep him out of my heart.

My face must have registered awe or fear or a mixture of both, because when I snapped back into reality I realized that Finn was looking at me strangely, with questions alight in his eyes. Thankfully, even during earthshattering realizations like the one I’d just experienced, I liked to think I could keep a pretty good poker face. Since I’d never even stopped singing, it was likely that Finn and Lexi were the only ones who’d recognized the glazed look of panicky joy in my eyes.

With a wink of reassurance in Finn’s direction, I turned back to the crowd and finished out the song with a secret smile on my face. When Scott and Ty played the final notes, I grinned as the crowd at our feet jumped up and down, applauding madly and yelling their approval. Finn waved to the crowd before grabbing my hand and tugging me toward him. Heedless of the hundreds of people watching us, he pressed his lips to mine and gave me a searing kiss.

The catcalls, if possible, grew even louder.

“Brooklyn Turner, everybody!” Tyler yelled into the mic he used for backup vocals, his voice breaking Finn and I out of our private moment. I tried to move away, but Finn didn’t let me get far; keeping his arms locked firmly around my lower back, he rested his forehead against mine. He didn’t even bother to look at the crowd – he had eyes only for me.

“You are so amazingly talented it actually stuns me,” he said, his gaze intense. “This is what you’re meant to be doing with your life, Bee.”

“Singing?” I asked, incredulous.

“Yeah,” he whispered, pulling back so he could kiss my forehead. “Just promise me you’ll at least think about it. Deal?”

“Deal,” I whispered back, pressing my lips against his to seal the agreement. When we pulled apart, Finn turned back to the crowd, keeping one hand locked with mine.

“Can’t you see why I’m crazy about this girl?” he asked the audience, holding our joined hands over my head and twirling me in a slow circle. There were cheers from the men in the audience; the fangirls, however, were uncharacteristically quiet.

I’m could almost hear the sound of thousands of hearts breaking all across campus as girls texted, tweeted, and blogged the news that Finn Chambers was officially, inconceivably, off the market. The girls nearest the stage were either staring at me with thinly veiled jealousy and hatred, or looking longingly at Finn, as if at any moment he’d announce that it was all a big joke and call them up onstage instead.

I waved at them cheerfully as I walked off stage with Lexi at my heels.

Bitchy? Maybe. Satisfying as hell? Definitely.

Lexi and I were the recipients of more than a few judgmental looks as we made our way to the bar to grab another round. We decidedly ignored them, paid for our drinks, and walked back to reclaim our small table near the stage.

“Girl, if you don’t lock that shit down, I will. That boy is so f*cking hot, every girl in this room would kill to be you right now,” Lexi said, her light blue eyes wide as she stared at me across the high-top. “In all seriousness, though, watch your back. Some of these bitches wouldn’t bat an eyelash as they sliced your throat with a lethally manicured fingernail and left your body to rot in the dumpster outside.”

“That’s comforting, Lex. Thanks so much.”

“I try,” she grinned.

“I think I love him,” I blurted.

Lie. I totally knew I loved him.