Like Gravity(61)
“Brooklyn,” Dr. Angelini said, pulling me back to the present. “Even you didn’t approve of your sexual activities or alcohol abuse.” One sculpted eyebrow lifted sardonically from behind her square-framed Chanel glasses as she stared at me.
“How do you figure that, doc?” I asked.
“You wouldn’t be standing here in my office if you did.”
***
After the session, I headed to Maria’s and ordered two Greek salads – dinner for Lexi and I. Thankfully, no one I knew was in line so I didn’t have to make small talk. There were few things I hated more than idle chitchat: the inane volley of meaningless words, nothing more than fillers in an otherwise uncomfortable silence.
One of the many things I failed to understand about so-called ‘normal’ people was their inability to just enjoy the quiet. Were they so afraid of others’ judgment that they felt it necessary to prattle on indefinitely, in hopes of keeping the conversation superficial and safe? Or was it that they were afraid to look, even for a short time, into the depths of their own mind – to truly examine their own thoughts –for fear they wouldn’t like what they saw?
I didn’t know.
All I did know was that nine out of ten people I encountered had no concept of the value in simply sharing a silence. And I guess that was kind of a shame for them, because there was a certain kind of purity, intimacy even, in just sitting with someone and not feeling the need to speak at all.
One of the only people I’d ever felt that with was Finn.
I hadn’t heard from him since he’d left my apartment several hours ago, but I was glad for the time alone. He knew me well enough to understand that I needed space enough to process everything that had happened between us last night – but not so much space that I had time to talk myself out of becoming involved with him altogether.
Even though Finn hadn’t said it in so many words, I was relatively sure he wanted “us” to be more long-term than a single sleepover. It was his actions that spoke to me the loudest – his feather-light caresses as he’d made love to me, the constellation of stars he’d hand-painted on my ceiling the next morning, even his stupid ‘princess’ pet name. They all pointed to one thing: a relationship of some kind.
I knew I’d freak out if I over-analyzed it, so I wasn’t letting myself think about it at all. Well, that’s not entirely true – I was thinking about the sex, I just wasn’t really concentrating on the relationship aspect of things…Possibly because I was so focused on how good the sex had been. And how long I had to wait until we could do it again.
A quick glance at my watch showed that it was quarter past six, and Finn’s show would likely go until nearly midnight. I groaned inwardly; six hours seemed a lifetime away.
After paying for our salads, I hurried out the door and headed home. I sent Lexi a quick text telling her I was on my way, and she replied instantaneously.
Here anxiously waiting 4 dinner and details. Hurry up! :p Great, so I was walking into an ambush.
I hadn’t been na?ve enough to hope that Lexi would simply forget to ask about Finn and I, but I was hoping to avoid it for a little longer. I couldn’t skirt the topic with her like I had with Dr. Angelini – Lex already knew something was going on between us. But that didn’t mean I had to give her all the details, right?
Who was I kidding?
This was Lexi – she’d tie me to a chair and shoot bamboo slivers under my fingernails until I gave her a detailed play-by-play of each minute I’d spent with Finn. The girl was annoyingly persistent when she wanted something; I’d always thought a career with the CIA as a terrorist interrogator might’ve been a better fit than fashion merchandizing.
Stepping through our front door, I set down the bag containing our salads on the kitchen island and looked around warily for her. Right on cue, I heard her bedroom door fly open and slam against the opposing wall, followed by the sound of bare feet rushing across the hardwood floors. I watched as she came into view; rounding the hallway corner at full speed, her red hair whipping around her face, she skidded to a halt directly in front of me.
“Tell me,” she demanded, slightly out of breath.
“Okay, okay, let’s eat dinner and then I will. Calm dow—”
“No!” Lexi cut me off. “You will tell me immediately. I have been your best friend since the second f*cking grade and this is the first time you’ve ever had anything remotely romantic happen to you. I have been totally gypped in the friend department until now! ” Lexi huffed, as if my lack of previous relationships was a direct attack against her.
“Gee, thanks Lex!”
“Oh, shut up, you know what I mean,” she said, smacking me lightly on the arm. “Can’t I be excited, Brookie? All I’ve ever wanted was to see you happy.”
I snorted. Yeah, like that’s her only motive here.
“Oh, fine!” She glared at me, but I could tell she was trying not to laugh. “I also happen to be excited about the prospect of double dates. So sue me!”
I started laughing and she immediately joined in, throwing her arms around me and squeezing me tightly for almost a full minute.
“Um, Lex?”
“What?” she asked, her arms still wrapped around my torso.
“Cant…breathe…”
“Oh!” Lexi gasped, releasing her hold at once. I gratefully gulped oxygen into my lungs. “Sorry,” she muttered. “Sometimes I forget how little you are.”