Life In Reverse(41)

I can’t help thinking she’s with the wrong guy—wishing that I was the right guy.





SURROUNDED BY TWINKIE wrappers, I’m sitting on the carpet strumming my guitar. I’ve been trying to compose something for over two hours but I can’t get the arrangement to work. I’m too distracted. My mind cluttered with shit, wandering to where it shouldn’t be. Frustrated, I push to my feet and set the guitar beside the bed. At my desk, I flip the switch on the iPod dock then jump on the mattress, lying back with my hands laced behind my head. The digital clock reads 9:00—too early for them to come home. A peculiar lump settles like a boulder in my stomach. I wish it would go the f*ck away.

The book on the side table seems like a good distraction. But when I pick it up, I stare at the same two pages for far too long. As if the world is taunting me, that song Ember liked in the car comes on, the sound of her squeaky voice as she sang along plays in my head—and that’s the last straw. I can’t sit here twiddling my thumbs anymore.

I slide off the bed and yank the chair back from my desk. It snags on the carpet before my ass lands on the seat and I power up my laptop. My fingers move restlessly over the keys as I wait for it to boot. When it does, I search Google and type in ‘Eastmoreland pool bars.’ Several are listed, though only one is considered a tavern and located in the center of town—easier than I thought. Of course it takes me another ten minutes to get off the freaking chair, debating whether or not this is a good idea. In the end, I convince myself I’m entitled to show up. He said they were only hanging out. It’s not like I’ll be a third f*cking wheel.

A hot shower invigorates me, as does finally getting my car returned. Back to normal, my Mustang roars to life and I reverse out of the driveway to head into town. Since it’s the weekend, I have to circle the block many times before I find a freaking space. Humidity hangs thick in the air as I climb out, bypassing a bunch of dudes lighting up and blowing smoke rings into the black sky.

I push through a vintage wooden door leading to a darkened space packed with people. From what I can see, the front area houses a bar, arranged seating, and a handful of booths near the back. In an adjacent room, pool tables are set up with games already in progress. To my right, couples hang all over each other on a self-made dance floor. I scan the area to find no sign of Julian or Ember. The music is a deafening beat anyway, and would make it difficult to get their attention. For a second, I consider maybe they decided to go elsewhere which means I’m pretty much screwed.

A firm hand squeezes my shoulder and I turn around to discover Julian leering at me. “I was wondering how long it was going to take you to show up.”

“Huh?”

“I said,” he shouts, cupping a hand over my ear. “I was wondering how long it was going to take you to show up.”

I back away with eyes narrowed to mask my grin. “I heard you the first time. And you can wipe that smug expression off your face. You planned this whole f*cking thing, didn’t you?”

Julian shrugs, playing it off as completely innocent. It might work if I didn’t know him so well. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

I peer around him but only see heads. None of them resemble Ember. “Where is she?”

He jerks his chin over his shoulder. The music drops down a notch enabling me to hear him better. “She’s sitting at a booth and… she hasn’t stopped talking about you the entire time,” he adds, a little too pleased with himself. “I almost think maybe she came out with me so she could pump me for information. She’s curious, that one.”

I chuckle while trying not to freak the f*ck out about what he told her. “Julian,” I warn, resorting to intimidation and not having a chance in hell of being successful. “What did you tell her?”

He whistles, bobbing his head. “Oh, not much. Just about the time we all went camping and you dove in the water and came up without your swim trunks.” My threatening glare does nothing to stop his rant. “And I also told her about the time you got caught having sex with that Hooters girl in the bathroom.” He taps his forehead and I’m seeing red. “What was her name?”

“The f*ck you did.”

“I absolutely did. I can’t just tell her how remarkable you are, or what a great brother you’ve been to me. The way you’ve always had my back and watched out for me. How you read me to sleep every night when I had pneumonia and toted me around when I broke my leg playing football.” His expression sobers, the lines around his eyes more pronounced. “Your ability to bypass your own fears and make sure you’re there for Mom. Even when I can’t be,” he admits. “I had to give her the full picture.”

Any irritation I had dissipates. I wrap an arm around his shoulder, smiling pretty f*cking wide and gesturing toward the back. “Let’s go. She’s been alone too long. Who knows what kinds of *s are lurking.”

By the time we weave through the crowd, Ember is on her way out to dance with some guy—a broad shouldered, blond dude with a smile that’s way too f*cking big. Of course he’s happy. He’s about to dance with the prettiest girl here. That lump returns, slowly rising up my throat. I swear if he touches her, I’ll pummel his ass.

Julian leaves to get me a beer while I keep my eye on Ember. She doesn’t know I’m here yet, giving me an opportunity to sit back and watch. Her arms surround this dude’s neck and as of right now, his arms are around her waist—where they better stay.