Life In Reverse(15)

“I hear what you’re saying, Em. I do. But….” She places her hand on top of mine, attempting to reassure me with a soft smile. “I don’t think us staying longer is going to help her. We’ve done that and I think for all of our sakes we need to go. She’ll find her way just like we need to find ours.” I nod, though her words don’t comfort me. She bobs her head from side to side and perks up. “So whaddya say? Shall we shop? Actually, let me rephrase that.” Pushing her chair back, she pulls me to my feet. “I’m not giving you a choice. We’re going.”

I heave out my exhaustion with another sigh. “I’m kind of tired, Ave.”

“No rest for the wicked.” Avery tugs on my arm giving me no choice but to follow her. Especially when she adds, “I’ll throw in a box of Bubble Gum Cigarettes if you don’t fight me.”

She doesn’t play fair.





JULIAN PUSHES THE cart down the aisle as I toss in random shit—Cocoa Puffs, Lucky Charms, microwaveable brownies. From the way he glares at me, apparently he’s met his limit. “No, no, and no. He reaches in and pulls out the brownies and the Lucky Charms. “Microwaveable brownies, Vance? Seriously? And Lucky Charms? All sugar.”

“And the problem is?”

“I’m not eating that crap. That’s the problem.” He turns around and grabs a box of Special K cereal from the shelf.

“And I’m not eating that crap.” I brush past him to nab a box of Frosted Flakes. Holding it up with my brightest smile, I ask him. “Better?”

Julian chuckles, but it’s nothing short of sarcastic. “Whatever, Vance. How about you go grab some olive oil so I can sauté some chicken tonight?”

My jaw tightens and I pop the knuckles on my fist. “Where’s Dad? Did he go see… Mom?”

“No.” He throws three boxes of plain corn flakes into the cart and I cringe. “Dad’s got a lot on his plate right now with the promotion. He has to work late this week.”

“Of course he does,” I mumble as I stalk off.

After searching three aisles for olive oil and still coming up short, I’m about to ask a store clerk for help when I spot Ember and Avery heading toward me. Avery sees me first and gives me a small wave coupled with a huge smile. Ember’s attention is elsewhere.

“Hey, Vance. Fancy meeting you here.”

Ember glances up when her sister speaks. Her eyes are red-rimmed, cheeks puffy. She doesn’t look like herself and something about that doesn’t sit right with me. Strangely, I don’t like seeing her sad.

“What’s up?” I’m staring at Ember when I ask the question, but her posture is slumped and she won’t make eye contact with me. Internally, I’m chastising myself. I don’t typically want people noticing me, but right now all I want is for her to give me the time of day.

“Not much.” My attention goes back to Avery when she responds, “We’re just picking up some things for dinner.” She angles her head, staring down the aisle. “Be right back. I need to find the basil.” Avery walks away and Ember finally gives me her eyes. And, f*ck, there is so much sorrow in them. It hits me square in the chest. I’ve seen that same look in my mother’s eyes and it shatters me. I want to do anything to make it disappear.

I hold up my hands, trying to lighten the moment. “I know what you’re thinking. But I swear I’m not stalking you.”

Her words are empty as is her expression. “I wasn’t thinking anything.” Then she stares off into space and I’ve lost her again.

“Hey.” I bend down a smidge as she’s pretty tall, and try to catch her gaze. “You okay?” I realize how idiotic it sounds the moment the question leaves my mouth. It’s obvious she’s not even close to being okay.

Her eyes climb to mine, lacking any of the spark I’m accustomed to in the few interactions we’ve had. “I’ve had better days.”

I’m at a loss of how to respond. I’m used to people trying to pretend they’re fine. So while her honesty is refreshing, it throws me off and I say the first thing that pops into my head. “So, uh, I can do a pretty f*cking amazing headstand, wanna see?”

A puzzled expression crosses her face as if she doesn’t quite understand me. “What?”

I shove my left hand in my pocket while my right fiddles with the hoop in my ear. “I don’t know, I… I’d do anything to see you smile right now.” She glares at me like another life force has taken over my body and I can’t say I blame her. I’ve been nothing short of hostile since we met. But then she surprises the hell out of me.

“Okay. Let’s see it.”

“Huh?”

“The headstand.” Her face is stone cold serious and once again, I’m at a loss. Luckily, Julian and Avery appear and save me from acting like an idiot—having to do a f*cking headstand in the middle of the grocery aisle.

“Look who I found roaming the organic chicken section,” Avery teases, and Julian chuckles. He’s such a sucker for a pretty face it makes me laugh. “I offered up my expertise on free range chicken. So your dinner,” she backhands me playfully across the shoulder, “is not only going to be delicious, but very healthy.”