Liars and Losers Like Us(48)

“Hang on a second, okay?” Sean asks.

“Sure.”

He slides out of the booth, takes a few long strides up to Chip and grabs his shoulder.

Chip’s bony shoulder hunches beneath Sean’s hand. He looks as skinny as he’s always been, but for the first time I notice the way his spine wears his T-shirt. He faces Sean and they have an exchange that I can’t make out, but Chip looks intimidated and a little pissed as he looks back and forth from Sean to where I’m sitting. I feign a deep interest in the white marbled tabletop.

Sean returns as Chip leaves my sightline, not looking back.

“What was that all about?” I ask.

“Just guy to guy stuff, but I think we’re okay now. You sure you’re all right?”

“Now that you’re back, yes.”

“So what’d I miss?” he asks.

“You missed out on a really great time, great friends, great conversation. Just three besties catching up.”

“Sounds like it. Care to give me the scoop on what Jane meant by ‘our sex life’? Must be pretty racy if even Jane couldn’t stand it.”

****

“Wooooooohooooo!” Kallie shouts through my receiver. “You, me, Todd, and Sean doubling for Prom? We’re going to have the best time ever. I was scared for a minute ’cause no way did I want to triple or quadruple date with Molly and Jane. Hell’s no.”

“Well, when Sean told me your options I knew there was no way you’d let that fly.”

“It was probably Molly’s idea. She’s still totally in love with him.”

“She’s crazy. And not funny crazy.”

“Yeah, she’s bananas crazy.” I hear Kal suck air through the phone and then a short silence. “Bree?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re going to be nice to Todd, right? I know he’s not your favorite person, but I really don’t want it to be awkward.”

Too late for that. “Um, yeah, c’mon, what do you think I’m going to do? Bring out a lie detector and strap him into a chair?”

“Ha ha, I hope not. Maybe you can let that stuff go? I just don’t want it to be weird between everyone.”

“Kallie, I’m not going to ruin anyone’s night if that’s what you’re thinking. I want to have fun too. This is supposed to be the most magical night of our teenagerdom, isn’t it? Who am I to mess with that?”

****





NINETEEN


Something about dealing with Jane today, seeing Sean handle Chip, and me letting Kallie’s stuff go makes me feel brave or clearer headed. Or maybe I’m just over being scared. When I lay my head down, like every night, the crinkle of Maisey’s envelope in my pillowcase sends my heart racing, the back of my neck gets hot and prickly, and tears spring to my eyes. My breath usually slows down once I tell myself, I’ll read it tomorrow, for sure. But this time I don’t say that. Tonight I’m reading it.

The cool cotton of the pillowcase meets the warmth of my palm. Trying to relax, I breathe until the air isn’t shallow in my throat. I pull the envelope all the way out, sit up cross-legged, and click my lamp on.

My heart thumps like bass in my chest. I read it through fast, like summer’s first jump off the dock at Crystal Wood Beach.

My mouth is knocked open by her emotion and I gasp out loud. Everything on this page is fresh and raw. Maisey’s pain is carved into each and every word. Each sentence. Each revelation of who she was and everything she was hiding.

I pull a tissue from the Kleenex box on my nightstand, wipe away my tears and blow my nose. Everyone thinks they knew her. They didn’t. And they didn’t know this. They didn’t know what she’s been through. With the bullying. With her life beyond school. We all have lives beyond school. And Maisey’s was beyond awful.

What the hell is wrong with me that I never thought about who she really was? Why didn’t it ever occur to me that she had a life beyond our Belmont High? It’s selfish. She was just a character in scenes from my life at school, just someone walking through the hallways, offering comedic relief for me and my class.

My heart races, longs, then aches in vain for a second chance. If I would have cared. If I would’ve really known her. I read it through once more, slower this time.

This definitely explains Jane and Maisey’s relationship. The fear, secrecy, the bullying. Jane’s straight-up bitchiness.

Jane has somehow made it this far and is still standing, so Maisey should be too. Maisey was tough. I wish she would’ve known that she was strong enough to get through this. I fold the letter back into the envelope, clutching it to my heart as if it’ll calm me. My sheet is splotched with tears and I can’t stop shaking.

This explains so much more than I can even handle. No one needs to know everything, but they sure as hell need to know how much they hurt her.





TWENTY


Sean grabs my hand across the center console of his car. “So you’re my girlfriend, right?”

“I don’t know,” I say with a smile, butterflies rushing my chest. “We haven’t really discussed anything official like that. I don’t know how all that stuff works, do you?”

“Sure. First, I tell Chip Ryan that you are, and then realize I might need to ask you first. So, the next day I ask if you’re my girlfriend, you say yes and then we kiss.”