Liars and Losers Like Us(15)

Just call him! Do it, do it. Okay … now. I pause. This is way different than last time when he had my notes and gave me his number. This is basically a “for no reason” call. Okay, c’mon Bree … Now. Okay … Now.

My finger is still frozen. I decide to recite the alphabet backward and once I get to “A” I’ll call him. As I’m reversing LMNOP in my head, my phone startles me by ringing and buzzing in my hand.

CHIP RYAN.

“Uuuuuuugh.” I shove the phone under my pillow but then rationalize that if I can handle talking to Chip, I can definitely manage a call to Sean afterward. I snatch my phone back and answer.

“Hello?”

“Hey Bree, it’s Chip.”

“Yeah, I know,” I reply. “Your name’s still programmed into my phone.” So I know when NOT to answer. “What’s up? Actually, how about this: Say everything you need to say and then we’re going to be done with it. Got it?” In spite of my shaking hand and my heart beating right behind my uvula, I am empowered.

Silence.

“Chip?”

“Okay, sure,” he says. His uncertainty is funny, considering he’s had months to prepare. “Listen. I miss hanging out with you and I feel like you haven’t let me apologize.”

Another pause.

“Okay, fine. Go ahead.”

“Really?” He exhales loudly into the phone. “I know I was a jerk but I had every right to be mad. You didn’t call or answer my texts and you stood me up. What else was I supposed to think?”

“And?”

“Okay. Either way, I was an ass. I shouldn’t have acted like that and I’m sorry, I really am. It’s embarrassing. I had to tell my dad what happened because of the driver’s side window and the fact that I broke my wrist. Then, of course he told my mom who made me see an anger management counselor every Thursday for the rest of the summer. It was all pretty stupid but I guess it was good. I’m not that guy. You know I’m not. I miss you.”

I let the pause linger to make sure he’s done.

“Thanks for apologizing and I’m sorry too. Sorry I had personal shit going on and avoided you and didn’t call to give you a heads-up. I’m even more sorry that I had to witness you getting all psycho on me. Thanks for calling and I hope you enjoy the rest of your senior year. Okay?”

“Well, wait. Can we hang out and talk? Maybe this weekend? Prom is only two months away and I’m not sure if you got my message last week but I was thinking maybe we could go, just as friends, or whatever?”

“Chip. No. That’s not happening.”

“Is that also a no on meeting up to talk more?”

“Yes, Chip—.”

“Yes?” he asks.

“No, Chip. I meant yes that it’s a no. It’s definitely a no. We’re not going to be hanging out like old times or like friends or like anything. Thanks for the apology.”

I click End Call before he can mansplain another second. I type Sean’s number, pressing Send before I can change my mind. My heart is pumping hard but slows down as I finish my backward alphabet while waiting for him or his voicemail to pick up. I get to GF … ED and he answers.

Instead of “hello” he gives a long drawn out “yooooo.” His voice is so cute and I stifle a nervous laugh.

“Hey Sean, it’s Bree. Hughes.”

“Bree, can I tell you something?”

“Um suuuure?”

“I have you programmed into my phone and I don’t know any other Brees. You can use your first name. We’re cool like that.”

“Oh okay, got it.”

“Funny you called, I was going to call you in a little bit.”

My adrenaline is instantly leveled up. “You were?” I ask.

“Yes, is that okay? Or are you only allowed to call me?”

I flip the phone away from my mouth so he can’t hear my long anxious exhale. I fan myself to keep the blood vessels beneath my face from flooding.

“Well, I called first so I win. I guess you owe me some sort of prize. I’ll need to collect it by the end of the week. Anyway …”

“Sure, we’ll see about that prize. So, what’s up with Prom Court? Jane told me after school that you’re taking Kallie’s spot because she doesn’t want to be with Molly. What’s up with that?”

“Kallie’s spot? No, actually I guess I’m taking Maisey’s spot. Funny how fast rumors get twisted.”

“Oh, that’s kind of a bummer. I was pretty jazzed to see Molly get dethroned by the Morgan-ador.”

“Yeah, me too, but I feel bad for her, she knew it was a joke.” I want to go into everything that happened today but don’t want to push it. I’m talking to someone way out of my social league here. I don’t need to remind him.

“Yeah, you’re probably right. That sucks.”

“I know, right? So, what do I have to do? It says there’s just one meeting and the pep rally. That’s it? For some reason, I thought it’d be more than that.”

“Nope, that’s it. There’s a meeting next Tuesday after school. I guess Prom Committee has a couple ideas that we have to yay or nay. Everyone knows it doesn’t matter though, they’re just going to do what they want. So, who cares? I don’t even have a date yet. I gotta get on it—I’d sort of told Jane I’d go with her as friends but then she backed out because of some other guy. Don’t you think it’s pretty sad to be on Prom Court and not have a date?”