Last Light(18)

And then she would come to me. Then, finally, we could leave the country together. Disappear … start over … be free … just as I’d hoped and planned.

Hannah’s voice broke into my thoughts.

“Matt, it was posted on the Mystic Tavern. Like, first. What the hell?”

My heart stammered. What? No, this wasn’t in my plan. How did she find out?

“The Mystic Tavern,” I repeated.

“Yes! You know, the site where we—”

“I know.” I rubbed my mouth. “That … that’s…” That’s something you weren’t supposed to figure out.

“That’s f*cking insane, is what it is,” she said. She sounded breathless. “Who else knows about that site? I mean, who—”

“A couple people, actually.” I got up from the couch. Get a grip, Matt. Get control of this situation. “Yeah. Mike, my psychiatrist … he knew. I think I told Kevin, too. And Hannah, let’s be logical here. Whoever put the story online must have hacked my e-mail, like I said. We’re talking about a…” I closed my eyes. My lies sounded truly ridiculous. “A really tech-savvy person,” I mumbled. “Someone who could trace me to that Web site … no problem.”

“Yeah … I guess.” Hannah sniffled.

“Babe, are you crying?”

“No. I’m in the lobby. It’s cold. I just … stopped for a drink before heading to the motel.”

“Hannah, how do you know it was posted on the Mystic Tavern first? I mean, it’s all over the f*cking Internet. Maybe it got posted there randomly … a coincidence.”

Hannah told me about the lawsuit then. She told me about her meeting with Shapiro and Nate’s minor obsession with Night Owl. I gave her hollow reassurances. They have nothing. The book doesn’t prove I’m alive. Refuse to cooperate and Nate will drop the lawsuit.

Now I was lying for both of us.

I checked the bedside clock: 2:49 A.M. The gears in my mind wouldn’t quit turning. Night Owl … Shapiro … the Mystic Tavern … Melanie.

I told Melanie she wasn’t in trouble—but she was, apparently, and so was I. Night Owl pointed to Melanie. Melanie pointed to me.

I took my phone to the deck and sat on a snow-coated chair. The cold and damp quickly crept through my lounge pants. I lit a cigarette.

When the day’s first light hit the treetops, I flipped open my cell and called Melanie.

“Hello?” Her voice was muzzy.

“Hey. It’s me.”

Melanie coughed and went quiet for a moment. I heard water running. “Jesus. It’s like … six in the morning.”

“I know. It’s also Sunday. I assume you don’t have work.”

“I’m between jobs. But if I were working, I think I’d want to sleep—”

I barked out a laugh. “Between jobs. That kills me, that phrase.” I waved my hand. “Like the next job is right around the corner.”

“You really are an *.”

“Yeah, the legends are true.” I wanted to laugh—really laugh. “Listen, Mel, sorry I woke you. We’ve got a little problem.”

I paused and Melanie waited.

I was about to speak when she said, “How did you do it? The mountain lion. All that.”

I squinted against the sunlight. I was still thinking about Hannah and my failing plan to drive her to me, and wondering why I was such a dick most of the time, and why I couldn’t seem to change. And then I was thinking about the mountain lion. Her muzzle was pure white, like she dipped it in paint. Beautiful—and so terrible.

“The cat wasn’t part of the plan,” I said.

“Jesus…”

“Mm. I cut my wrist and my forearm. I took codeine … not enough. I had a tourniquet around my arm. The idea was to bleed enough to…”

“Enough to make it look like you bled out.”

“Right. Like I fell on my ice axe or something. Sounds stupid now.” I lit another cigarette with trembling hands. It felt good to tell someone what happened—someone besides Hannah. I’d spared Hannah the details because she’d go crazy with worry.

Melanie waited for me to continue.

“I fell,” I said simply. “I lost consciousness. The pain meds, the blood loss … the cold or the altitude, I don’t know, all of it. I blacked out. My plan was to hike out and wait for a fresh snow to cover my tracks. The cat…”—a cylinder of ash broke from my cigarette—“found me. Dragged me, I guess. Mel, I was out cold. I don’t know for how long. When I came to, she was shaking my leg, she was just shaking it and shaking it, and the skin, she was … it was tearing, she was shredding it without even trying. I was stuck on a rock. I saw, you know, I saw how she was trying to pull me over a rock and my pack was stuck.”

“Oh, my God,” Mel whispered.

I stared into the memory.

I wouldn’t tell Melanie how I thought I was dying—how I thought, This is it. How I wasn’t ready. How desperately I wanted to live, and how scared I felt.

“Anyway.” I laughed. “Long story short, I woke the f*ck up and I screamed my f*cking head off, and I waved my arms and all that, and I scared the shit out of the cat. She took one look at me and she was like, You really are an *, and she beat it.”