Lady Renegades (Rebel Belle #3)(37)

Not gonna lie, the idea was tempting, but I thought of that book—all its secrets and weird spells or whatever—and knew that Blythe was still our best chance of fixing David. And with my powers out of whack, we needed all the help we could get. “No,” I said to Bee now. “Although I reserve the right to abandon her at a rest stop if she tries to shush me again.”

Bee laughed at that and wrapped an arm around my shoulders, tugging me close. “Deal.” She gave me another quick squeeze before stepping back. “I swear, she’s lucky my Paladin powers are fading because the ‘shh’ thing definitely made me feel punchy.”

Bee’s voice was light and she was still smiling, but I noticed the way she didn’t quite meet my eyes when she said it, and I touched her arm.

“Are you bummed?” I asked her. “About your powers going away?”

Bee shook her head, but she wasn’t smiling anymore. “Not . . . bummed, exactly? It was just that I’d kind of gotten used to them, I guess, and the idea of being, I don’t know, normal again while you and Ryan are still superheroes—”

“My powers are on the fritz, too,” I reminded her. “And who knows what will happen with Ryan.”

Bee looked over at me, her fingers tugging at the hem of her T-shirt. “You fought that girl at the motel,” she reminded me. “I didn’t see it, but it sounds like your powers were fine then.”

Now it was my turn to shake my head. “It’s not like I’m getting weaker, it’s just that they keep . . . flickering on and off? Like a faulty switch or something.”

That was the best way I could explain it. Honestly, I think it would’ve been a relief if they had just been getting weaker. Not knowing if I’d suddenly lose all my strength? That was the scary part.

I was going to say that to Bee, but she just lifted her head, glancing around. “You wanna walk for a bit, see what’s what?”

So that was clearly the end of that talk. I nodded, needing both the space from Blythe and some fresh air.

We set off down the sidewalk. In a lot of ways, this little town was basically like Pine Grove. Well, like Pine Grove if people like my aunts and Saylor Stark hadn’t tried to take care of it. You got the sense that it had been pretty once, quaint and charming, all of that. But the big terra-cotta planters outside the shops were filled with dying flowers, and, perhaps most tragically of all, there were still Christmas decorations hanging up on the streetlights. I stared at a faded green tinsel tree for a long time, taking deep breaths and trying not to panic. For the first time, I actually felt far from home, and even though Bee and Blythe were with me, I felt lonely.

Scared.

In that moment, I would’ve given most anything to be able to get back in the car and drive all night to get to Pine Grove. To sleep in my own bed underneath my white-and-purple comforter and wake up in the morning to my mom burning bacon.

I thought back to Saylor’s brother, and the sad, faded air of the town took on new significance. Had Saylor longed for this place like I longed for home now? Had she looked at the streets of Pine Grove and thought of another small southern town? It had been Saylor’s idea to put those big terra-cotta planters outside Magnolia House. After finding out that she was a Mage, I’d assumed everything she’d done as part of the Pine Grove Betterment Society had been about putting up wards, making the town safe for David. But maybe she’d really done some of those things just to make Pine Grove . . . better.

More like home.

My eyes stung all of a sudden, and I could feel a lump welling up in my throat. Saylor’s death had hit us all hard, but it was almost like we’d all worked so hard to put it behind us that we’d never taken any time to mourn her. Standing in the streets of her hometown now, I missed her more than I had since she’d died, I think. I’d looked at Saylor for so long as the Woman Who Knew Everything. Even before all the Paladin stuff, she’d been my role model, and now I understood that we were more alike than I’d ever guessed. I didn’t just want her back to fix stuff for us or tell us what to do. I wanted her back so that we could talk about what she had been before. How she’d managed to choose her duties as a Mage over the life she’d led here in Ideal, Mississippi. If she’d ever regretted it.

“Hey,” Bee said, pulling me out of my thoughts. “What’s wrong?”

I really didn’t want to be the weird girl crying in the middle of a town square, so I did my best to stop the tears before they could fall, but it was a losing battle. I was already sniffling, and with a disgusted sound, I scrubbed at my face. “We should’ve told him,” I said. “Saylor’s brother. Or I should’ve told him. I . . . I owed that to Saylor.”

Bee frowned, folding her arms over her chest. “But then he’d know she was dead. He’d have questions, Harper. How she died, where she’s buried, why no one called the police . . .”

Sighing, I rubbed the back of my neck. “I know, but it feels wrong. To keep lying like this, to always be covering stuff up or wondering how to get away with things. I’m just . . .” Trailing off, I took another deep breath. “I’m tired of it.”

She was right, obviously. Telling Saylor’s brother that she’d died would open up a whole other can of worms, one I didn’t have time for right now, but it was another reminder of just how badly magic could screw things up. Saylor had done a spell on her brother that would have him just kind of vaguely remembering her for the rest of his life.