Kissing Her(18)
“Going to bed,” I say when everything is cleaned up. I don’t want to think about Melina, and I have things I need to get done.
“I can’t believe you’d ruin your sister’s wedding.” My mom turns from the kitchen counter and tosses the dish towel into the sink. The impassive face she had at dinner is gone and right now I can see where Melina gets her sour face from.
“I’m not. We aren’t going to have a wedding.” I’m not trying to overshadow Melina. I only want to be married and with Ragnar. I never push for anything, but I want this. I even backed down from leaving tonight even though I’m an adult. I could turn around and walk out the front door, but I’m trying to do this the best way possible. It looks as though there’s no way to make everyone happy.
“You just can’t stand that Melina is prettier than you,” she hisses at me as her eyes go to the kitchen entrance to make sure Dad doesn’t hear her.
It’s like a slap to the face and maybe before today I might have agreed with her. Melina is the one who gets the attention from men but who cares? I caught the eye of the only man that matters to me. He makes me feel sexy and wanted and that’s all that matters. He’s going to be my husband and I’ll be out of here in the morning. How has this all gone from Poor Bee, we’ll never find you a man to my sister and mom being angry that I have? I can’t win for losing.
“I’m sorry” is all I can think to say, but I have no idea what I’m sorry for. For not being whatever it is she wants me to be? For doing something that made her love Melina more?
Melina will always be different to them and there’s nothing else I can do to change their minds. I walk out of the kitchen with the knowledge that I’m marrying Ragnar tomorrow. I don’t care what they think because they can’t stop me.
I make my way up the stairs to pack my bags because I need something to pass the time. After everything Ragnar bought me today I don’t think I need much. It’s probably best I take as little as possible because I don’t want any part of here to be in our home together. Our home. I smile at the thought because it’s really happening. I won’t live here anymore and I’ll get to start my new life tomorrow.
When I get to the top of the stairs Melina’s door flies open. I thought she looked pissed downstairs but this is a whole new level. I don’t see any of my sister in the girl standing in front of me. Pure hate rolls off of her and I can see that she can’t be happy for me at all. She was keeping herself in check downstairs but now the real her is coming out and for the first time I don’t think she’s pretty. I’m starting to wonder what others see and how I ever saw her as beautiful.
“I know you, Bee. You won’t be able to stand Ragnar’s wandering eyes. Husbands like him have mistresses.” She’s chosen her words carefully so they go straight to my heart.
Her intent is to inflict as much damage as possible because she’s not telling me this out of concern. Nor does she know anything about Ragnar. He’s been sweet and good to me from the moment we met. Melina is marrying Brandon, and to me that speaks volumes.
“And will you be okay when your husband takes one for himself?” I toss back. Her eyes widen for a moment and she’s shocked I’m giving it back it her.
It’s clear to me that Brandon is the one she should be worried about because I’m sure he doesn’t keep it in his pants. He’s been trying to get in mine, but I always gave him the benefit of the doubt. I told her she could do better, but maybe they’re made for each other. She forgot all about Brandon when she said she should get Ragnar if she wanted him.
When I walk past her she lunges for me but stops when she hears someone coming up the steps. The heavy weight signals it’s Dad and she rushes back into her bedroom and closes the door. I do the same because I want to keep myself away from the rest of this family.
I lean against the door and take a deep breath. There’s no guilt inside me about being mean to Melina. She had it coming and it actually feels like a weight has lifted off my chest. I’ve told her what I’ve been so scared to say all this time.
I open my eyes and take in the surroundings of my bedroom. My gaze goes to the bag filled with clothes Ragnar bought me and I know that’s all I’m going to take. I want a fresh start with him and I don’t want anything else from this room. I walk over and dig through the bag until I find a silk pajama set he got me. It’s one my parents won’t get mad about since the others weren’t exactly made for sleeping. I was worried if they saw it they wouldn’t let me see Ragnar again, but it’s clear my dad had a price. I shake my head as I put on the blue silky pants and top before I get into bed. It’s still early but I’m ready for it to be tomorrow.
I grab my phone from my nightstand and see Ragnar has texted me.
Ragnar: Tomorrow
Me: Tomorrow
I smile as the one simple word makes me feel warm all over.
Ragnar: Sleep, beautiful
I do as I’m told and roll onto my back as I slip my hand down into my pants. A few simple texts and my body is wanting. I wish he were here to touch me, but I do as he told me and push my fingers inside of me. I keep myself on edge as long as I can but my body aches with need so badly. My mind flashes with all the things Ragnar is going to do to me and the pleasure I know he’ll bring. I hope one day that he’ll give me love as well even though I’m already there. Maybe I’m young and foolish, but he’s my everything, so how could I not fall for him?