Kisses With KC (Cowboys and Angels Book 11)(5)

Eliza considered saying no, but maybe she did. Her ma was a gentle-spirited woman. One day, she hoped to be more like her. Today, Eliza needed to hear something kind since all her own thoughts swirled with spit and venom. “Come in.” The metal springs squeaked beneath Eliza as she scooted over to make room.

Her ma sat down and handed her a fresh roll. “You have to eat something. There’s more downstairs when you’re ready.”

They sat in silence. Eliza didn’t know what to say. I’m glad he’s gone . . . or . . . He would have been a terrible husband, anyway . . . or . . . Truth is, I may never have the chance to marry now.

Ma tapped Eliza’s leg reassuringly a few times. “That Lance Ormston is a belly-draggin’ varmint. Good riddance, I say.”

Eliza gasped and looked at her ma. Her mouth hung open for a moment, then she snapped it shut before she laughed out loud. Maybe I’m more like her than I thought. She leaned over and rested her head on her ma’s shoulder.

Her ma continued. “You’re too precious to waste your life with a man like that. I’m glad you found out before it was too late.”

“That’s just how I feel.”

“I don’t think you know this, but your father had his heart broken before we met.”

Eliza looked up and saw Ma smiling and nodding. “It wasn’t like your situation. He was in love, and she went off and married someone else while they were engaged.”

This time, Eliza sat up and looked at her ma. Why had she never heard this story?

“If he had married her, we never would have met. That would have been a tragedy. He figured that out quickly. It was certainly a blessing in his life, and doesn’t he know it!”

“Thanks, Ma. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” Eliza leaned toward her mother.

“You’re welcome. You’ll be twenty-one in a couple of weeks, and I’m so proud of the woman you are. One day, you’ll be glad you’ve had this experience, little bug.” Ma kissed Eliza’s forehead. “That might not be today, however.”

“You always say just what I need to hear. I’m glad you came up.”

Ma hugged her, then walked to the door. “You won’t always need me, but I’ll always be here for you.” She slipped out, closing the door behind her.

Eliza laid back on her pillow. From the time she was little, she had dreamed of a family of her own. Her little sister was born when Eliza was seven, and she’d tried to teach her to call her mama. It hadn’t worked, but she mothered the child anyway—still did.

When her cousin, Rayna, was born a few years ago, Eliza had taken care of the baby and her Aunt Taren, who’d had a difficult recovery. She’d loved pressing her finger into the baby’s palm and having its tiny fingers grip her own. She’d stroked the downy hair and kissed her fluffy cheeks. Her heart had wrapped around the little soul in her arms, and she had felt peace.

Eliza wondered if she would ever hold a child of her own. Her world had tipped that night because of Lance’s rejection of her. She realized that she might not marry if men looked on her as broken. That’s what had kept her in her room. Her body felt wrung out and weak as she cried without solace. By the early morning hours, she had given up the future she’d always thought she’d have. It seemed that she gave up a piece of herself with it. The one thing she thought she was—that thing she wanted most in life—would not be hers.

More than once, the mystery man from last night entered her mind. She quickly recognized it for the false hope it was and stamped down on it each time.

Sunrise washed her disappointments into her past, and she wasn’t going to take them up again. She would find a new purpose. She would have her own land and her own choices going forward, and that was good, too. The next morning seemed brighter, warmer, alive with possibilities. Eliza had an undiscovered future before her, and the dread was buried.

When she came in from her morning chores, she sat at the table for breakfast. Ellis ducked his head and shoveled oatmeal into his mouth.

It wasn’t like him to be so quiet. As twins, they had a special bond, almost a sense about the other one. If he would look at her, she would know what he was hiding. “Out with it,” she said as she dribbled honey over her oatmeal.

“Nothing.” He still didn’t look up.

Eliza wondered if it had anything to do with her coming back so late two nights ago or if it was about listening to her sniveling instead of sleeping last night. Probably the crying. She didn’t want to talk about the midnight ride or even think about how it made her cheeks warm—’cause it did.

“I’m okay, Ellis. In fact, better than okay. Our birthday is coming up, and I can hardly wait for us to file for our own homesteads.” She took a bite, expecting him to glance her way and give her a sly smile. Nothing. “I don’t think Lance wanted to homestead. I’m glad it’s over.”

“I didn’t like the man, not one bit, but if you were going to marry him, I’d decided to hold my tongue.” Then Ellis added, “You’re too good for him.”

Her younger sister, Kailin nodded in agreement.

“Our whole family concurs,” Eliza said.

Ellis’s eyebrows lifted with surprise. One side of his smile tipped up.

“You, me, and Mama.” Eliza ate a spoonful of gruel.