Kiss of Fire (Imdalind, #1)(78)

“It helps us more if you know even a little bit of what you are doing than nothing at all.” Ilyan’s voice was still calm, and somehow, that helped to decrease my panic.

“So when will I learn magic that can help me save Ryland?” The buzzing grew more with the fuel from my stress. I felt like I was going to explode. I breathed deeply, trying to gain control.

“We have eight days, Joclyn. I can’t possibly teach you everything in eight days. So we will be learning the basics.” His calm voice was a whisper compared to mine.

“The basics? How am I supposed to do anything with the basics?”

“We will begin,” he continued, ignoring my outburst, “with plant growth so that you can gain control of your power. I will then teach you how to control wind, and if you are very lucky, we may touch on energy fields.”

“That’s it?”

“Yes, Siln?. I will teach you enough so you can go in, defend yourself if you must, and so you can run away when necessary.”

“Run away?” My heart plunged into my toes, my voice dropping in tone as my heart rate increased in timber. “I thought we were going to save him.”

“We are.” He left it at that and strolled away from me.

“Then why do I need to know how to run away?”

“Because you will not be strong enough to fight any of them. You are going with the sole purpose of getting Ryland out, and that task requires you to run away. You must know how to run away from Edmund, from Timothy, and maybe even from Ryland.”

I followed him slowly to the courtyard Wyn had shown me last night. I didn’t know what to say; my anger had lessened, but now I felt somewhat worthless. All my life, Ryland had protected and supported me, and now it was my turn to protect him, and I couldn’t do it. Even with all the power that I now had buzzing under my skin, I couldn’t. There wasn’t enough time to learn how to do that.

The courtyard in the middle of the motel was the type of place I would gladly waste days in. The large branches of the tree that stood in the center of the space reached far over us, shading most of the courtyard throughout the day. What light seeped through the canopy speckled the stone paths and grassy patches with pools of warm sunlight and golden color.

I sat in one of the sun bathed pools of light, Ilyan by my side as he gently taught me to stretch and bend my magic. At first, all the pent-up energy came out in a rush and I covered us with dirt as a small area of ground exploded rather than causing the flower to grow, as I was supposed to do. I was elated; if it was really that easy, then perhaps I had a chance to actually help Ryland after all.

After the initial use however, getting the magic out was a different story altogether. I could still feel it tingle and move under my skin, but I could no longer get it to move beyond my veins and into my control. The buzzing grew and swirled around inside as my frustration twisted into anxiety. Perhaps this was all just a pointless exercise; my magic had been hidden too long. My magic simply didn’t know what to do and was just as stubborn as I was. It made me feel dead inside.

By the time the sun had cleared the roof of the old motel, Wyn and Talon had joined our group. They sat off to the side, a sleepy Wyn curled up against Talon. I was happy they were there, but grateful that they weren’t offering their own advice. I didn’t know how much more failure I could take anyway. After about three hours of trying, I slunk away and leaned against the giant tree that was shading us.

“I give up,” I moaned as Ilyan came over and joined me.

“Don’t be ridiculous. You give up and Ryland dies, simple as that.”

I flinched at his brutal honesty, his stern voice cutting through me.

“Are you still going to give up?”

“No.”

“Good. Now, I have an idea, but it involves breaking a rule. Are you okay with that?”

“What rule?” I wanted to agree, but I was apprehensive about what he was going ask.

“Just answer the question, Joclyn.”

“Fine,” I grunted at him, folding my arms across my chest. I could hear Talon laugh at me from across the clearing; it didn’t do much to improve my mood.

I followed Ilyan back to the space where we had been working, my foul mood increasing as he invited Wyn and Talon over to join us. Wyn bounded over with a wide smile on her face as she barreled into me with a bear hug before settling in next to Talon.

“All right,” Ilyan began, “I need you to take off the necklace.”

“What?” I clutched it in a desperate panic; I couldn’t take it off—I had promised Ryland.

“Don’t worry; you can put it on the second we are done.”

“Why? Why do I need to take it off in the first place? It’s just my magic, right? You said it probably just doesn’t know what to do.”

“While that may be the problem, I think it is something else. I think Edmund’s magic, that is repressing Ryland, is repressing you as well.”

I heard Wyn breathe behind me, but I could only stare.

“But I thought you told me... you told me Edmund couldn’t affect me.”

“I thought he couldn’t, but it looks like he might be able to. If that’s the case, we need to get you using your magic so we can train you to block Edmund’s barrier. Do you understand?”

I nodded solemnly before moving to take off the necklace. My stomach flipped around inside of me. Not only was Edmund hurting Ryland, but he was hindering me as well. I sincerely hoped Ilyan’s guess would be wrong. I handed the necklace to Ilyan, who wrapped it up in a cloth.