Kings of Chaos (Dirty Broken Savages #1)(39)

“Drop it,” I snap.

“Are you scared?” She cocks her head, that twisted smirk growing on her face. “About what? That you don’t… measure up?” Her eyes dart down to my crotch and then back up to my face. “Must be hard. I mean, Knox is clearly proportional. Gage didn’t feel like he was a slouch either. And women seem to be throwing themselves at Ash left and right, so he’s either got a big cock or knows what to do with his mouth. Probably both, from what I can tell. That just leaves you.”

I don’t give her the benefit of a response, just watching her with the same expression on my face. River wants a reaction. That’s the kind of person she is. She wants me to lash out so she can tell herself that she won. But she’s not used to me, and she doesn’t know that I don’t play that game. I don’t give in to childish shit like this.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” I tell her, holding back my irritation.

“Oh no? Why don’t you tell me then? Why don’t you tell me all about it?” She leans in, giving me a look down her cleavage where it’s barely covered by the shirt she’s holding in front of her breasts.

It doesn’t even matter what she’s saying. I know she’s just trying to get a rise out of me. She just wants to see me look at her and react to what I see.

I don’t know why she cares so much. Apparently Knox is more than willing to give her what she wants, and if he wasn’t, then Ash would give it to her.

She wouldn’t have to beg for it.

So what does it matter if she doesn’t get it from me?

“No,” I say, stepping away from her, putting more distance between us. “Drop it.”

“What if I don’t want to drop it? What if I really want to know?”

“Then you should get used to disappointment.”

“Is that what you tell your partners? Or, told them, I guess. Back when you had them. Or are you a virgin? Is this whole constipated and annoyed act just because you’re pent up and don’t know how to talk to women? I’m sure Ash would let you have some of his sloppy seconds if you’re that hard up for it.”

River reaches out like she’s going to touch me again, and this time I slap her hand away.

“No,” I say again, more firmly this time.

She pouts, but doesn’t try it again.

“Listen to me very carefully,” I hiss, leaning so close that I can see the flecks of gray in her eyes that gleam like stars. “The three other men in this house are the only people in the world I care about. If you fuck with them, I will kill you.”

My voice is low and leaves no room for doubt about whether I mean what I say.

Even so, not even that is enough to rattle her. River just rolls her eyes and steps away from me entirely, huffing out a breath. “You need new material. Every one of your so-called brothers has already threatened to kill me too. You sound like broken records. And I’m not afraid of death.”

Maybe she’s tired of toying with me, or maybe she’s disappointed with the reaction, or lack thereof, that she got. Either way, she turns on her heel and heads for the stairs, giving me a view of the blood still trailing down her back from whatever she and Knox got up to downstairs.

I can guess.

I watch her go, my head spinning with the storm of my thoughts. She shouldn’t matter. At all. She’s just some woman who was in the wrong place at the wrong time, and now she’s here until she kills St. James. She has nothing to do with me. Nothing to do with any of us, really.

But somehow, I can’t get her out of my head.

It’s like some kind of strange obsession that doesn’t feel right.

Ash and even Knox and Gage all seem to be caught in her spell, and I knew she was going to be trouble, but I’m not usually affected by things like this. River is nothing like Jade.

Her attitude, the way she carries herself, everything about her is different from the woman I loved. The only woman I’ve ever loved. It’s easy to hate her for all those differences and to tell myself that she’s nothing, but at the same time… I desire her.

Even thinking it makes me feel unsettled, and my emotions are higher than they usually are, turmoil raging inside of me. I feel on edge, like I want to hit something just to get it all out, and for half a second, I think about going downstairs to where Knox is still entertaining the fucker we hauled in, just to blow off some steam.

But no.

The last thing I want to do is go down there and find the smell of sex and blood in the air, reminding me of what Knox and River did. It’s not worth it.

Instead, I go up to my room and shut the door, locking it with a click.

I feel like a lion pacing its cage, so much restless, unsettled energy gathered under my skin that it’s impossible to stay still.

In a moment of frustration, I strip down to nothing and go into the attached bathroom, cranking the shower on. Ash has a running joke that I always take cold showers, to keep myself so cold and uninterested in anything that even seems like warmth, but he’s wrong. I turn the water as hot as I can stand it, waiting until steam fills the bathroom before I get in.

I can’t tell if my face is flushed from my mood or from the heat of the shower, and I like it better that way. I wash myself with quick, efficient motions, letting the soap suds swirl away down the drain. I watch them go, wishing they’d take the last of this mood with them.