Kingdom of the Feared (Kingdom of the Wicked, #3)(85)

In fact, they’d argued that very night. Pride asked her again and again to confide in him, to tell him why she was upset. He vowed to do anything to make her happy. He promised to miss the feast, to stay by her side, to work through whatever was troubling her. But Lucia believed happiness couldn’t come from another, it had to be found within first.

She knew Pride would do anything for her; he’d never speak to another in any romantic way. And eventually, he’d be as unhappy as she was now. No matter how much love there was between them, Lucia realized some people just weren’t meant to be.

Tears burned behind her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. Her mother watched her closely, disapproval written all over her immortal face.

“His first and only love is himself. That is the nature of his sin. Leaving was for the best, Lucia. In time you’ll not only believe it, but feel it to be true.”

“Of course it was.”

Mother spoke as if Lucia hadn’t been the one to choose to walk away. It hurt, beyond anything she’d experienced before, but she’d done it. While Pride openly courted Nicoletta of House Vengeance at the feast tonight, Lucia had feigned a headache and remained at House Pride. Once her husband had finally given in to her demands and left, she grabbed the trunk she’d packed earlier and raced to the portal on their lands.

Mother had been staying on the Shifting Isles, so before she could convince herself it was a bad idea, Lucia pictured her mother’s home—the charming cottage with a thatched roof that sat high on the bluffs in the isle’s version of Ireland—and stepped into the portal.

Now, as she sat primly at the small dining room table, sipping a cup of herbal tea, she half-regretted her destination. Part of her wondered if her own pride was clouding her judgment.

Perhaps she should have found the courage to tell her husband every fear or worry of her heart. This doubt wasn’t for long, she reminded herself as she gathered up her courage to ask what she’d come here for. Mother would hopefully give her anything to ensure she didn’t return to the Seven Circles.

“I want to forget.” Lucia held her mother’s gaze. “I know you have a spell from the Crone. I want it. And I want to be left alone until I’m ready to come back. If I’m ever ready.”

Her mother, to her credit, didn’t so much as bat an eye. “Where do you wish to go?”

Lucia let out a breath, thankful there would be no fight or argument. She’d given much thought to where she’d love to be, where her heart could mend and she could live the sort of life she desired. “Sicily.”

Mother’s expression turned calculating. Lucia knew it meant she was privately scheming and didn’t care. So long as Lucia got what she wanted, her mother could play out whatever game she wished. Mother stood and retrieved a small satchel from a hidden panel in the wall. She placed it in front of Lucia and tapped the buckle that held it together. “This package contains all you need to forget. Not just your heartache, but whatever you wish to leave behind.”

“And you just happened to have this lying around?”

“I’ve been prepared for this day since you first laid eyes on that demon and he sank his claws into your precious heart.”

Knowing the conversation would go nowhere, Lucia unlocked the leather strap and pulled the satchel open, surveying the strange assortment of items. A rough, rare piece of blue quartz from the Southern Hemisphere. Rolled-up parchment—with a spell for forgetting. And a dagger. One Lucia recognized at once.

It was legendary, an object hexed by her mother that could kill any creature, even a prince of Hell. The dagger was also rumored to break curses, but Lucia knew a secret about it that no one else did, save her mother. A secret that would either activate the blade or see it destroyed forever if done incorrectly.

“The Blade of Ruination? What will I need this for?”

“Silly, child.” Her mother tsked. “Protection. Do you think his pride will allow him to sit idly by as his wife makes a fool of him? Do you not think he’ll seek revenge?”

“He would never harm me or wish me ill.” Lucia stared at her mother in horror. “Do you truly think so little of him, even after all these years?”

“He might not cause you harm, Lucia, but I doubt he’ll let his wife vanish without searching for her. Did you leave a letter of explanation? Does he know you’re not coming back?”

Lucia’s eyes fluttered shut as shame pinked her cheeks. She’d tried to. She’d sat at her writing desk, ink pot ready, quill in hand, and couldn’t find the right words. Any words. It had been cowardly. Cruel, even. But instead of saying the wrong thing or writing all of her wants and worries and fears out for him to ultimately reject her, she simply left.

“One day he will find you.” Her mother’s tone was as steely as her expression. “He will remember all you do not. And I promise he will stop at nothing to win you back. His pride will see to that. Only you’ll be at a disadvantage, having forgotten him. Do you think he’ll be a devoted husband after that? You’ll have shamed him, bruised his legendary ego openly in front of his whole court. In front of the whole realm. And you won’t even remember.”

Lucia shook her head. She knew what her mother wasn’t saying—she disapproved of Lucia taking a tonic to forget. It wasn’t a smart battle tactic, and Mother considered witches and demons to constantly be at war. But the pain in Lucia’s chest, the acute, all-consuming grief, was too great to overcome; she couldn’t walk away from Pride if she remembered him. “I’ll take the dagger. Just see to it I never fall for another prince of Hell again.”