KNOW ME (DEFIANT Motorcycle Club)(29)

might.  But you’ll still wake up one day like Anne Marie did and figure out how much

life you’ve wasted.”  
  I hugged the envelope to my chest.  It had been what I was briefly afraid of.  That

the surrender which resided in my mother was also in me.  I stepped directly in front

of Orion and forced him to look me in the eye.
“You’re not afraid that I’m going to regret the course of my life like my mother

did.  You’re afraid for you.  That you’ll end up with Crest’s heartbreak.”
He didn’t look away.  “Maybe,” he whispered.  He grabbed my face in his big hands

and kissed me wildly.  When he pulled back his face was anguished.  “But I’d take

that.  I’d gladly deal with the hole you’ve ripped in my heart if it meant I’d get

to keep you.”  He smoothed my hair, his face crumbling.  “But I’d be a selfish piece

of shit to hold you here.  And that’s not something I can live with.  Not where

you’re concerned.”
“Because of my father.”
“Because of your father.  And because of you. Because I held you the day you were born

and thought about the madness you’d been brought into and I had hope, Kira.  Shit, I

had hope that it would pass you by.  I’d forgotten that, I think.”
He pushed me gently away and turned his back.  He had made my choice for me and the

decision was final.  I bit the inside of my lip until I tasted blood.  It kept me from

dissolving into sobs.
I turned around and walked back toward the bar.  There was no need to visit the house. 

I had everything I would need to begin the new life Orion was demanding that I seek. I

simply didn’t have it in me to say goodbye to Rachel or anyone else.  The air tasted

sour and my limbs felt leaden.
There was no need to hotwire the car.  The brand new key was a little stiff in the

ignition but it turned over freely and someone had filled up the gas tank.  I tossed

the envelope on the passenger seat and pulled the car away, wondering if I’d remember

how to get to the I-10.
There was no one outside to see me go.




Chapter Twelve


I found the interstate easily enough and turned unhappily east.  I didn’t have a plan.

I knew Phoenix wouldn’t far enough away so once I’d left it behind I planned to keep

going.  Out of Arizona, as far as it took for the agony in my heart to subside.
Maybe I would have to drive forever.
When the sign appeared for the road to Salome I cut the car to the exit so sharply I

almost collided with a pickup truck.  It was the inexplicable jerk of instinct.  Yet

when I had the opportunity I didn’t turn around.  My hands gripped the steering wheel

so tightly they ached.
I drove for a while before I reached the sign.  It was right where I remembered. I

braked so hard the car spun to the shoulder, calling up a cloud of dust.  There were no

other cars in sight and I sat there for a moment, breathing hard, as I gazed up at the

painted billboard for Salome “Where she danced”. 
The cartoonish stick figure illustrated on the billboard stared mysteriously back at

me.
I loosed my grip on the steering wheel, breathing hard.  Everything Orion had said kept

playing through my mind.  If he’d offered me money and a way out the night I got here

I would have taken it in a heartbeat.
But instead he offered me something else.  Perhaps his reasons were murky and perhaps

he was having trouble sorting it all out.  But at this point, but it didn’t matter.
What happened has happened.
If a hundred years ago a woman had worn shoes when walking on the hot sand this place

would be called something else, or maybe it wouldn’t be a place at all.
My father and the Warlocks would never walk the earth again because someone grew

angered about money which had never rightfully belonged to them.
And from the minute Orion Jackson touched me it was impossible for me to ever go back

to being the guileless girl who idled through university lectures and always kept her

knees closed.
And this, the moment of right now, couldn’t be redone later.
If I returned to the interstate and kept driving it would be merely part of my past. 

But I was still at the life’s junction where I could go either way.  It could be done

differently.  I didn’t have to let Orion or anyone else choose my destiny for me. 
I started the car and drove furiously back to the freeway.
It was still early in the day but Quartzsite seemed brighter and more vibrant than

usual.  Or perhaps it was just my imagination.  I had to make a deliberate effort not

to speed through the town.  Now that I had made up my mind, I wanted to get things

said.
But first, I needed to make a stop.
Adele had been right; the house did have a meth lab sort of glow.  I didn’t know if I

would find her in the crumbling yellow box of a home but wanted to try there before

heading to Riverbottom.
She was surprised to see me but her face was friendly as she stepped outside.  I heard