KILLING SARAI(75)

“I will do that,” I say.

Before I end the call, Niklas says, “Victor, you know it has to be done. For your sake and even for hers.”

I won’t kill Sarai and I’ll do everything in my power to make sure that no one else in the mansion does, either, but deep down I know that what my brother said is true. I should kill her for my sake and hers. But I can’t. And I won’t.





Sarai





It’s the night of the mission and my adrenaline is already pumping so hard through me that I can’t sit still. After a shower I get dressed after Victor chooses which dress I should wear and once again I’m back to being bra-less.

“I feel naked,” I say looking down at the thin, practically see-through silk dress.

Instinctively, I try to tug the ends of the dress down to cover more skin, disappointed that the effort doesn’t magically make the fabric expand. If I were to bend over just halfway, anyone standing behind me would be able to see everything. Thankfully I’m wearing panties, at least.

Victor stands there, looking at me seemingly lost in his own mind. He appears kind of worried, sad even.

“I’m not backing out of this,” I tell him, getting the feeling that’s what his expression is all about. “I want to do this. Whatever happens to me, it won’t be your fault.”

Maybe it’s a little presumptuous to think he even cares and to insinuate it out loud, but I really think he does in his own small way. And I don’t care much anymore about letting him know how I feel. About everything that has happened between us. About my feelings, although I’m still not sure what they are myself. About his feelings, even though his have always been more guarded than mine.

I step up to him and curl my fingers around the lapel of his suit jacket on each side. Then I push up on my toes and kiss him softly on the lips.

“I can do this,” I say. “Maybe I’m being reckless and I don’t know what I’m getting myself into. No, I take that back. I am being reckless and I know exactly what I’m getting myself into. I’m crazy to go along with it, to want to be a part of it. But you know as well I do that I’m not like everybody else. And even if I had a shot at it, even if I could walk away right now and try to be like everyone else, I don’t want to. I am afraid to die. I can’t say that I’m not. And I don’t want to die, but I’m prepared to.”

For a moment it seems as if Victor is going to say something to me, maybe he’s going to try one more time to change my mind, but instead he turns away from me and grabs his car keys from the nightstand.

“We need to go,” he says and walks to the door of our hotel suite.

I feel disappointed, even a little hurt. I had wanted him to say something to me, anything that would verify in my mind and in my heart that he truly doesn’t want me to go through with this. Maybe deep down I know that I’m going to be killed and that last desperate part of me wants to know before I die that someone cares. That Victor cares. Because he really is the only person in the world that I have.





CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR





On the way to the mansion, Victor reminds me one last time, “Never get out of character. No matter what happens, or how uncomfortable things might become for you. Don’t break character.”

“I understand,” I say. “No matter what, I won’t break character. I promise.”

That look he just gave me, although indistinct, tells me that he has his doubts.

We arrive at Arthur Hamburg’s estate at seven-thirty and are met by a tall electronic iron gate and a security guard. Victor holds our invitations out the car window to him. The guard inspects them first then walks over to a panel set in the side of a small rock security station and puts a phone to his ear. I hear him faintly through the opened window describing us and then describing the invitations. A few seconds later he hangs up and gives the invitations back to Victor.

He slips back inside his station and soon after the iron gate breaks apart allowing us access onto the enormous property. After going over the cobblestone driveway the length of at least two acres, we park our car in front of the mansion next to a plethora of equally expensive cars.

We get out and Victor loops his arm through mine and we walk toward the house. We approach the giant front double-doors, passing two marble pillars on either side and then underneath a scaling balcony. We’re greeted at the door by another armed security guard and this is when I notice all of the other security guards posted about the property. I remember what Victor told me about them and I start to feel a little uneasy. But after our invitations are inspected again and we walk inside, the uneasiness fades away, replaced by awe. I have been to many wealthy houses before, but this one is the most stunning by far with tall ceilings that rise four floors in the center of the mansion, opening up into a massive circular skylight. Beautiful Greek statues are displayed on the ground floor underneath it. Whenever someone walks by, the sound of their shoes tapping gently upon the marble echoes as though I’m inside a museum instead of a privately-owned California mansion. I hear what sounds like a small waterfall and then notice to my right, underneath a fifteen-foot archway is a beautiful white-rock fountain situated in the center of that room.

Before I’m caught ogling at this place the way a girl who has never seen such wealth in her life would, I shift my expression to look mostly inattentive, narrowing my eyes gently as if a part of me is bored. And when someone does catch my eye, I pick and choose whom to nod subtly in recognition to and who to ignore. Mostly, I ignore the women, or gaze upon them briefly with disapproving eyes.