July (Calendar Girl #7)(11)

He leaned down on one knee and waited until I lifted my chin, and our gazes held. “You can talk to me.” His tone was compassionate, filled with worry.

Frustration and anger hit me with a wallop. “You gonna talk to me?” I smacked my own chest. “What’s up with you and food, Anton?” I shot back.

Inhaling, he pinched his lips with his thumb and forefinger. Something dark turned his green eyes a hazy green. The lines in his face softened as he sighed. “I grew up poor. Very poor. So poor there were many days we survived on water and the scraps my siblings and I could scavenge in the dumpsters of the high priced restaurants near our shack of a home. Puerto Rico isn’t all sunshine, beautiful bikini-clad women and endless beaches. There are many parts that are still very much like a third world country. The east side of the island is very dangerous, and that’s where I grew up.”

“How many siblings do you have?”

“Two. One brother, one sister. But mi papa died when we were very young. Mi mama did the best she could, but there were too many nights I went to bed hungry. Years’ worth of a rumbling belly.” He stood and spread his arms out wide, the picture of the king of his castle. “No more. Mi mama now gets plenty of money from me and lives a quiet, happy life, not wishing for anything. Same with my hermanos. My siblings.” He clarified in English.

I closed my eyes and counted to ten, my only coping mechanism. When my heartrate settled I opened my eyes and spoke. “My last client had a son, a politician, very high up in the ranks as far as American politics go. He attacked me physically, tried sexually. Got very close to raping me. Too close.” Even the words tasted like putrid filth on my tongue.

“When?” The soft way he spoke made me believe I could trust him, share in a way I wouldn’t normally have considered with someone I’d only known a couple days.

“Close to three weeks ago.”

“Co?o, that recent? Christ, Mia. Is the f*cker in jail?”

And therein lay the problem. I shook my head, and his eyes narrowed. “I didn’t press charges.” Admitting it out loud hurt like a serrated knife to the gut. Even though I knew it was for the greater good, I still warred against the reality that he’d essentially gotten away with it. Yes, there were repercussions and demands being met that I set, but none that would ease that pit within, that hole in me that would only be filled with the knowledge that justice was served. “No. There were extenuating circumstances. I did what I had to do. There was no good option. If I took him through the system, more than the two of us would have been hurt, and a lot of people would see harm beyond what putting away one sick f*ck would do.”

Anton nodded. “Sometimes the decisions we have to make are harder on us than anyone can ever comprehend.” He said the words with absolutely no judgement. I’d just told him that a vile man attacked and almost raped me, and I willingly didn’t put him behind bars. He knew nothing of the circumstances, but instead, chose to accept the decision I’d made as necessary. Why couldn’t I?

Making his intent clear, he sat next to me and opened his hand. Offering support and comfort. Scared, but determined to get past this, I placed my hand in his. Did it feel the way it felt when I held hands with Tai or Mace? No, it didn’t. Those two men knew what I went through and for some reason, I wasn’t affected by their touch in the days after the attack.

That now familiar fear tingled along my hand and I squeezed his once then pulled away. “Thank you,” I whispered.

His eyebrows rose into his hairline. “For what?”

“For not judging me.” My voice cracked, emotion taking the reins momentarily.

Anton took a slow breath. “I do not live your life. I cannot possibly understand how a decision one way or the other could be better or worse, for it is not mine to make. Only you have to live with your choices. I can see that this one is weighing very heavily on you.”

Nodding I inhaled and pressed my palms together until my knuckles turned white with tension.

“So, can we be friends without the other possibilities?” I asked, suddenly worried he may be upset with that particular decision.

“Are you attracted to me, Lucita?” Little light. Silly man.

“Yes,” I said without reservation.

“Yet you will deny yourself the pleasures of mating with me?”

I smiled wide. The pleasures of mating? Where does he come up with this stuff? “Unfortunately, I don’t think that a new mate is in my cards at this time. Plus, there’s sort of someone else.” Okay, I admitted it. What the hell was I going to do about it?

Anton smacked his thighs and stood. “Pity. I was looking forward to bedding you.”

“I don’t think you’ll be lacking any company for the foreseeable future.”

“This is true.” He waggled his eyebrows again. “Friends it is then?” He held out his hand this time as if to shake on a deal.

“Friends.”

He pulled up his hat and placed it on his head once more. “Now, as my friend, you’ll help me pull all these weeds.”

“I think I’d like that, Anton.” A little work in the sun, sweating out the nasty toxins of the emotions too close to the surface would be cathartic. “On one condition...” I added a hand to the hip and cocked my head to the side.

He grinned, a devilish, boyish gleam to his eyes that made me regret the “no mating” decision. “State your terms, woman.” His accent made his response sound absurdly suggestive.