Joanna's Highlander (Highland Protector #2)(51)

“What you saw happened in the year 900 A.D. Sixteen years ago this past spring—by this century’s reckonin’. ’Twas right before the goddesses brought us forward to this time.” Still cradling Joanna’s hand in his, Grant sat straighter in the chair, struggling to keep the weight of what he was about to share from suffocating him. “Leannan MacClendon was the young woman who was murdered. My betrothed. The mother of my unborn child.”

“I am so very sorry.” Joanna’s hitching whisper broke, her face crumpling as renewed tears streamed down her cheeks.

“Aye…well.” Grant leaned back in the chair and stared up at the ceiling. Why the hell had the stone chosen to show Joanna such misery?

“I don’t understand why the goddesses didn’t bring her forward too. Why wasn’t she in that room with your family, or at least hiding somewhere?” Joanna turned toward him, rolling to her side and resting a hand on his arm.

And that perhaps was the greatest hurt of all. Leannan had refused to listen to him. She’d given up on them when the Heartstone remained cold and withheld its blessing of their betrothal. She’d tossed aside all his assurances without a thought to her actions. She’d sacrificed herself and their child. She most likely wouldha survived if she’d stayed in the hidden room as he’d told her. She might ha’ lived if she hadn’t gone to the bailey and attempted to leave the keep and return to her clan. Then the other clans wouldha given her shelter and helped her raise his child—the child of a protector.

Staring straight ahead, Grant relived the time, narrating in heartbreaking detail all that had happened. Joanna remained silent as he spoke, her eyes wide and reflecting his pain. The goddesses’ refusal of his and Leannan’s troth. Their blessing withheld by the Heartstone. The invasion of the murderous Northmen. Yet, Dwyn had assured him that while Grant’s union with Leannan had not been sanctioned, neither the goddesses nor the Heartstone wouldha sacrificed her and the child to the brutality of the Northmen. If Leannan had but remained hidden, the other druid clans wouldha helped her survive once the carnage ended.

“She refused t’listen,” he repeated, locking his gaze with Joanna’s. “Why the hell would she no’ listen?”

“I don’t know.” Joanna barely shook her head. “I just don’t know.” She squeezed his arm and did her best to smile, her pale, chapped lips quivering at the corners. “All I know for certain is that the Heartstone scares the living shit out of me and I don’t ever want to go around that thing again. Deal?”

“But ye believe me now?” Dare he hope she’d accepted the truths she’d seen with her own eyes? Dare he believe that she’d accept him for what he was? “Ye believe all I have told ye? And ye accept it? Ye willna run to get away from me?”

The dubious look that suddenly appeared on Joanna’s face made his blood run cold.

“Joanna?” He needed her to answer him so badly, he’d surely go mad if she didna speak soon and seal his fate—one way or another. “Lass…please.”

Her sudden tired, tender look and soft smile enabled him to breathe again. “I’m not going to lie to you. I so need some time to digest all of…whatever this is or was.” She pulled back the bedsheets and patted the bed beside her. “But I’m not gonna run—as long as you get in here and hold me.”

Grant stood and stripped off his clothes and boots before she could change her mind. He eased into the bed beside her, gently scooped her into his arms, and cradled her against his chest.

“I’ll hold ye forever, lass.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead and closed his eyes, breathing in the reassurance of her sweet warmth melting into him.

Joanna snuggled tighter against him until he could almost feel her smile against his chest. “Forever and ever?” she asked, nuzzling her cheek more comfortably into the dip of his shoulder.

“?’Til eternity ends,” he whispered against her skin. And longer, he silently added to himself.

“I need you, Grant.” She spoke so softly he barely heard the words. ’Twas more like he felt them against his skin. “That Heartstone nightmare trip was too real. It’s stuck on replay in my head. I need you to make me forget it for a while.”

A warm wetness seeped onto his chest. Tears. Joanna was crying.

Ever so slowly, he slid out from under her, settled her back onto the pillows, and propped up on his elbow beside her. He gently cupped the curve of her jaw in his palm and wiped away the trail of her tears with his thumb. “Dinna cry, m’love. ’Tis all in the past. Over and done. I swear it.”

He leaned forward and nuzzled a slow, sweet kiss across her softly trembling mouth. “We’re safe now. The both of us. Here in each other’s arms.”

Joanna reached up and stroked his face, brushing her fingers into his hairline at the temple. “I thought I’d lost you.” She stared at him a long moment. Not blinking. Maybe not even breathing. “I’ve never felt that kind of pain before. Dark. Empty. Hopeless.” Renewed tears welled in the outer corners of her eyes, overflowed, and trickled down into her hair. “Make me forget it, Grant. I don’t want to feel anything but you.”

“But yer weak, love.”

“I need you. Please.”

“Aye, m’dear heart. Aye.”