Jesus Freaks: The Prodigal (Jesus Freaks #2)(92)

“Yeah,” Jonah adds. “You’ll see more protesting about it on the news and Internet than you will at the event. It’s kind of a morale booster sort of thing. You know, ignite the troops for battle against the destruction of families.”

My jaw drops and I grin. “Jonah Cross, is that sarcasm I smell?”

He blushes and looks down, making Matt laugh. “We finally got him, Kennedy!” Matt jokes, and for a second my heart breaks. It’s like he’s early-November Matt asking me to rise up against the evil institution of CU and associated entities. Not the Matt who’s avoiding me and pushing me away.

Jonah holds up his hands in defense, though his grin still lights up his face. “Calm down. I just mean … well doesn’t it seem a little shortsighted to do battle that way? I mean, I’m against abortion, but I don’t think holding up pictures of dead babies is the way to get people to change their minds. It’s not their minds I want to change anyway.”

“It’s their hearts,” I cut in. He nods.

Matt lifts his eyebrows. “Sounds like I’m sitting with a couple of future pastors.” His tone boarders on dry.

“Yeah,” I snicker, “these tricky ovaries get in the way though, huh?” One thing I miss about the church I grew up in is the presence of female leadership. Not just on the council or in the background, but delivering the sermon. Women priests. Something seriously lacking in the evangelical world. The only ones I know of, honestly, are on TV—far from local churches.

Jonah shakes his head. “I bet you could do it, Kennedy. You’re good at what you do.”

“What? What do I do?”

“You get people to listen to what you have to say without using an air horn. People pay attention to you, you know.”

I shift my eyes back and forth between my two friends. “What people?”

Matt nods. “All the people. Everyone. Any time you make a move, people are watching and internalizing it.”

“You’ve all gone insane.” I click my tongue. “No one internalizes jack you-know-what about what I do. No one cares.”

“Ha!” Jonah lets out a sharp laugh. “Everyone cares. Especially about your relationship with your dad. It’s like Silas said to you after that service where you kind of came out as Roland’s daughter. To a lot of the people at CU and in the evangelical community, it’s like you came home, and they’ve been watching how that’s going. How you treat Roland and how he treats you.”

“Came home?” I state, more to myself than anyone else. “Where did I go?”

“Like the prodigal son,” Matt quips sarcastically, but I shake my head.

“I didn’t go anywhere, but—“

“What?” Matt asks.

“Oooh. That story. I know that story … I get why people might assign it to me, I guess but … God,” I whisper.

“What?” Jonah adds.

“Geoff. Roland’s brother. He was kind of a jerk to me, talking about how it was when Roland came home from college a drunken mess and … that’s it. It makes sense. He felt like the older brother in that story who’d stayed faithful to his parents while Roland took advantage of them. But because Nora and Tim are who they are, they were just happy to have Roland back safe and sound, and Geoff felt gypped.”

“Makes sense,” Jonah mumbles.

“He was a jerk to you?” Matt snaps. “How?”

I wave my hand. “He just … it’s a long story and not a big deal.” I have to admit that Matt’s growly chivalry feels kind of nice. At least he still seems to kind of care.

“Anyway,” Matt continues, “that story is kind of bullshit.”

I know Matt has these words on his tongue a lot, but it’s rare they escape his mouth. Especially in front of Jonah. Though, since Jonah alluded to the fact that he and Matt have spent the semester talking a lot, I guess Matt’s probably dropped curse words around him, too. Jonah and I look to each other at the mention of a CU “discouraged” word, but quickly focus back on Matt.

I clear my throat. “Why’s that?”

“Who wouldn’t be ticked? The good kid stands by and does his due diligence while the other one goes off, disobeys and does whatever he feels like and, in the end, they get the same reward from their father? What’s the purpose of doing good at all then if, at least at some point, you make an effort to come back?” Matt’s face has gone red, but his eyes remain hollow as he grinds his back teeth.

He’s not talking about the story of the prodigal son from the Bible. And, he’s not just talking about him and his dad. Jonah puts a hand on Matt’s knee. I’d consider that a risky move, but Matt doesn’t react.

“You,” I mumble, setting my plate on the coffee table. Matt huffs, looking down. “You, your dad, and God, right? That’s what this is all about. You’ve talked to me so much about doing the right thing, and being so angry with your father. You’re angry with God for his second chance while you can’t erase the pain of what happened during his first chance.”

Jonah turns his head slightly, pressing his mouth into his upper arm and taking a breath. He looks at me and shakes his head, as if he’s asking me not to go any further. But, Matt’s still unresponsive, and if he wants to be friends with me, that’s not going to fly.