Jesus Freaks: The Prodigal (Jesus Freaks #2)(85)

“At first,” she sighs, “I thought it was just him experimenting with his expectations and his parents’ expectations. Maybe some general questioning.”



“Okay …”



She shrugs, her eyes pinching at the sides, letting a few tears out. “I don’t think he’s who I thought he was. He’s been questioning a lot lately.”

“Which is okay,” I try to reassure.

“I know. But,” she sniffs, “I feel like rather than questioning and circling back around to me or us, he’s swirling further away. I mean, I question, too. But, I question God with God, you know? Like I ask him what the heck. Jonah is questioning from a different place. One of disbelief rather than searching. I don’t know how to explain it.”

I put my hand up. “I get it.” I don’t, really, but she’s spinning out of control. “What’s that look on your face?”

Eden shifts so she’s sitting next to me, and presses her forehead into my shoulder. “I don’t know if I want to be with him anymore,” she sobs.



Jesus …



While they’ve only been together for a few months, I know that this is way more complicated than that. Jonah and Eden have known each other for the better part of a decade, their parents seemed to get along really well at Parents’ Weekend, and I truly believe Eden sees—saw—wedding bells every time she looked at Jonah. This wasn’t just dating for Eden. It’s always been like some sort of pre-engagement.

I place my arm around her shoulder, and she sinks lower, her head resting on my lap. “Jesus, Eden,” I whisper when her sobs grow deeper. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what to do here. Have you and Jonah talked about any of this?”

She shakes her head and speaks into my leg. “A little, maybe. I’ve been asking him if everything’s okay for weeks, but he just seems distant. I think he doesn’t want to hurt my feelings if he thinks he’s not living up to my expectations.”

I nod, even if she can’t see me. “That sounds like a Jonah courtesy.”

She chuckles, sitting up and wiping the wet away from her cheeks. “Except for the fact that for about a month I’ve been tagging along in a relationship that clearly isn’t mine anymore, and he’s afraid to pull the trigger.” She looks at me with the hopeful eyes that once begged me to ask him out for her.

I widen my eyes. “I’m not breaking up with him for you,” I state flatly. “If he thinks you’re too fragile to break up with, this is your chance to own your feelings about it and stand up for yourself. You might want to bear the role of a pastor’s wife, Eden, but I know plenty of kick-ass ones that don’t fall quietly by the wayside.” I’m just assuming here that these alleged women do exist. And, I need Eden to believe it, too.

“You’re right,” she answers, quite to my surprise, even though she sounds like she’s trying to convince herself. “You’re right,” she says again with more resolve. “I’ll do it tomorrow.”

“When?” Tomorrow morning Jonah’s parents will be bringing him here, and we’re supposed to drop Eden off at her house on our way through, down to Georgia. “When, exactly, do you expect to accomplish this?”

She shrugs. “Before we get on the road.” My mouth hangs open in silent protest, but she continues. “Unless you want me to do it while we’re all in the car together? Or wait until … some other time?” Eden arches an eyebrow.

“I’ll distract Roland while we’re packing the car and saying goodbye to everyone.”

Before we can hash out any more details, there’s a knock on the door. “Kennedy? Can I come in for a sec?” Julia asks, her bright tone ever so slightly hesitant.

“Yeah,” I reply, crossing my legs in front of me.

Julia closes the door behind her and sits on the corner of the bed, her long, blonde ponytail swaying past her shoulder blades. She’s been quite nice to me since her arrival, but we haven’t had a ton of time to talk since there are so many little kids around.

After a few seconds of awkward silence, she eyes me intently. “I’m sorry Geoff’s such an ass.”

In one motion, Eden slides off the bed and excuses herself from the room. “I’m going to get some hot chocolate,” she politely utters before disappearing. For a second, I stare at the empty space next to me.

“Sorry for blurting that out in front of your friend,” Julia says in a delightfully not-sorry sort of way. “But, honestly, I am sorry for him.”



Slowly, my eyes work their way to her. “I don’t …”



She waves her hand. “You know what I’m talking about. I saw you two talking yesterday outside. And I saw the look on his face and the attitude he had when he came back. Just know that it’s not about you.”

I lift my eyebrows. “Seems like it was,” I admit.

Julia shakes her head. “It’s not even really about Roland,” she says rather dismissively.

“So what’s it about?”

“God.”

I huff. “Of course it is.”

Julia’s lips turn up into a comical half-grin. “I’m serious.”