Jackson (Wild Boys After Dark, #3)(5)
Jackson cocked a brow and smiled. “Who are we to judge freaks?”
“Just because we have sex without a relationship doesn’t make us freaks. Tons of people do that—and we do have a relationship. You’re my best friend. Who better to work off steam with?”
“Laney, I love what we have, but other people might think it’s strange. Not everyone is into the things we are.”
“Oh, come on!” Was he serious? The guy who went through women like addicts went through cocaine? He had no qualms about sharing his sexual escapades with her. How could he even pretend that what they did was edgy? “Tons of people get creative with sex. Anal, oral, silk ties—all that is totally normal. Don’t kid yourself. It’s not like we’re into nipple clamps and whips. And besides, we don’t even go the backdoor route with anyone else. It’s in our pact.” Her eyes widened. “Unless you—”
“No! Christ, Laney. I’m not talking about those things.” He slid her an annoyed look, then turned his attention back to the highway and drove in silence. As he pulled off the exit toward the road that snaked up the mountain, he finally said, “What I meant was that not everyone would understand how we can date other people and still have sex with each other. I’d never put up with that shit if I had a serious girlfriend. Hell, what did Bryce think of our friends-with-benefits relationship? No man who loves a woman would put up with it.”
“Really? Well, he obviously loves me.” She grabbed her purse from the backseat and pulled out a black velvet jewelry box. Her fingers trembled as she remembered Bryce down on one knee in the middle of the restaurant, professing his love for her, and how the first thing that flashed in her mind was that if she married him, she’d have to give up her intimacy with Jackson. And Bryce didn’t even seem to care that she was going on this trip with Jackson, which was another thing that bothered her about the whole thing.
She opened the box and shoved the gleaming diamond ring in front of Jackson. His eyes ran quickly over the ring, then widened as he took the box from her hands and inspected it more closely, his eyes darting from the ring to the road and back.
“Holy f*ck. That’s a huge rock.”
“Two karats.” Why did she sound so proud? She didn’t even want it.
“Why’d you bring it with you?” He closed the box and thrust it into her lap. “You still didn’t answer my question. What does he think of our arrangement?”
She tucked the box into her backpack instead of her purse and shrugged.
“Laney…” His eyes narrowed.
“What? That’s the whole problem. Don’t you see? All he ever wants is for me to be happy. He knew we were going camping together, and he was like, ‘Great. Have fun.’ He’s supportive of my business, and he understands my late nights.” She sighed, thinking of how many times she’d canceled dates with Bryce because of late deadlines or meeting with editors at Wild Side, the trendy fashion magazine she owned.
“So what’s the problem? Don’t all women want to be married?”
She gave him a deadpan stare.
“Fuck, Laney. How much more could you ask for?” Jackson gripped the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles turned white. He had never said disparaging things about the guys she dated, unless he was concerned for her welfare. He let her make her own mistakes and was there to protect her if she needed it—and he was always there to see her through good times and bad. Given how supportive he was being, she wondered if he knew what accepting the proposal really meant—an end to their intimacy.
How much more could she ask for? That was the real problem. She couldn’t ask for what she really wanted, because he was sitting right beside her telling her to marry Bryce.
“Laney, you’re telling me that Bryce has no issue with you sleeping with another guy?”
“I told him ages ago that you and I sleep together and he said one day I wouldn’t need you anymore.”
***
JACKSON LOOSENED HIS grip on the steering wheel and glanced at the tattoo of the key—Laney’s key to her heart—in his palm. He’d worried about this exact situation too many times over the years to pretend otherwise, but he’d never really thought it through. Each time his mind traveled there—which was usually when Laney was talking about how great the guy she was dating at the time was—he would simply push it away. And it was a simple thing to do. She’d always found her way back to his bed, no matter who she was dating. But now, with a proposal on the table—a proposal and a big f*cking diamond ring—he could no longer pretend it wasn’t a reality.
Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew what Bryce had said was true, but when he’d told her that same thing in bed last night, he hadn’t thought that someday would be now.
For the first time in forever, the silence between them thickened with discomfort. He had no right to be anything but supportive of Bryce and his proposal. He obviously wasn’t mistreating her, and she deserved a happy future with all the things most women wanted—children, a loving home, a stable husband—even if she claimed not to want those things. Deep down, he knew she did.
She needed to make a decision free and clear of him, even though it might mean he’d have to give up sharing a bed with her. That didn’t mean his stomach wasn’t twisting into knots and his head wasn’t playing all sorts of tricks on him, making him want to tell her not to marry the guy. But he didn’t want to swap places with Bryce. He loved his single lifestyle, and even though he loved what he and Laney had together, to tell her not to marry anyone was unfair.