Jackson (Wild Boys After Dark, #3)(15)

She rolled onto her back and closed her eyes, conjuring up Bryce’s face. He was strikingly handsome, with hair a shade lighter than Jackson’s, mossy green eyes, and a lean, strong body. His laugh was infectious, deep and hearty. The kind of laugh that vibrated through her chest and made her laugh right along with him. She smiled at the thought, but as her mind drifted to last night, her smile faltered and her stomach knotted. Bryce knew that she and Jackson slept together. He’d never asked for specifics, but she’d been clear when they’d started dating. And when he’d asked her for a monogamous commitment a few months ago, she’d also been clear and said that she wasn’t ready for that—and she didn’t know if or when she would be.

Why had he done it?

Why had he proposed? Was it to finally tie her down? And why couldn’t she just say no? Her eyes shifted to Jackson again. He was the man she wanted to have forever with—and he was the one man she knew wasn’t an option. Jackson didn’t do commitment. Sure, he’d been with her for all these years, but he’d also been with other women, and he’d made no bones about not being the monogamous type.

Just as she had.

She heard birds take flight from a nearby tree and mistook it for the sound of her heart breaking. Cawing sounded in the distance, and she slipped from the covers, still naked from the night before, and quietly grabbed her backpack. She didn’t want to wake Jackson, and the way her mind was churning was making her too antsy to sit still.

Outside the tent, she stretched and pulled on a T-shirt and shorts, then grabbed a blanket and cooking supplies and went down to the water. The lake rippled in the morning breeze, mixing with the sounds of leaves brushing and birds singing. The sounds out here in the mountains were gloriously different from and more soothing than the sounds of the city. Sometimes in the early-morning hours in the city, she would sit outside on her balcony and listen to the cars and the people rushing about, breathing in the rancid city smell, and she wondered why and how society let the city replace this much natural beauty.

She knew the answers, of course. Life needed to be lived, goals needed to be met, success needed to be had. She’d been on that money train for a long time, too, and knew she was in no place to judge others. But for a few days each year, she got to pretend she lived a more relaxed lifestyle.

Laney laid out the blanket, then set the bottle of eco-friendly shampoo by the water’s edge, stripped off her clothes, and dug a towel out of the backpack. She wrapped it around her body, and when she reached over to zip the compartment, she saw it.

The velvet box.

The looming proposal rushed back to her.

It hadn’t been far from her mind, but she’d been able to ignore it for a while, like a festering wound covered with a bandage. Only it wasn’t really a festering wound; it was a lovely proposal from a very nice man.

She sank down to the blanket with the velvet box and drew in a deep breath as she slowly opened it. The diamond glistened in the sun. It really was a beautiful ring, with a simple gold band and the enormous rock stunningly set. She took the ring from the box and twirled it in her fingers, catching the light on the perfect edges. She would have a nice life with Bryce. He was stable and caring and supportive. What else could a woman ask for?

He’d never stray, and there was some comfort in that.

He’d never have a wild side, either, and that made her heart ache a little.

She closed her fingers around the ring, holding it in her palm as she set the velvet box down beside her and gazed out at the water. Thinking about the things Jackson had said to her, she wondered why Bryce didn’t care if she was sleeping with Jackson all this time. Why hadn’t he asked for more specifics over their months together? She knew Jackson would never date a woman for any length of time without knowing her sexual habits and whether she was sleeping with other partners. Hell, she wouldn’t date a guy without knowing his sexual habits. Bryce had been proud of his monogamy. He’d told her from their second date that even if she wasn’t going to commit, he was.

He did.

She, however, had continued sleeping with Jackson.

She hadn’t even considered sleeping with anyone else. She opened her palm and stared down at the ring, thinking about her sexual habits. She and Jackson stepped over to the wild side, but she’d never done that with other guys. With Jackson everything was different. She couldn’t get enough of him, couldn’t share enough of herself. He allowed her to be as dirty or as sweet as she wanted. If she was pissed, they had hot, angry sex, and if she was feeling lonely, he cherished her body as if every inch of it deserved tenderness and love. He always knew just what she needed. Like last night. She needed to have him in a way that was only theirs. She’d never let any other man touch her there.

Bryce was a missionary lover. He was a strong, talented lover, but he had limits. Even when she went down on him, he never really relaxed, but that was okay, she reasoned, because not everyone could lose themselves in someone the way she and Jackson lost themselves in each other.

Relationships weren’t all about sex, though, and with Bryce, the other pieces of their lives fit together nicely. He was a professional stockbroker, and he fit in well with her colleagues. He was always appropriate, unlike Jackson, who sometimes reached for her thigh under the table when they were with friends, or would pick up two women for a ménage à trois when she wasn’t around. Her heart squeezed with that thought. She never liked to think about his sex life, but she knew it existed. He’d never tried to hide it from her, and as long as he practiced safe sex, she had no business even thinking about it.