Jack and Djinn (The Houri Legends, #1)(12)

His arms were around her waist, at the small of her back. Her shirt was hiked up in the back, exposing a strip of skin above the waistband of her pants; his fingers found this gap, exploring tentatively, warm palms sliding up her spine, and she couldn’t resist anymore. She leaned in against him and tangled her fingers in his hair and kissed him back, pressing her body against his. She could feel his heart hammering wildly, feel his exploring hands tremble against the flesh of her back near her bra strap. He was as nervous as she was, and this endeared him to her all the more. Time slowed and stilled, and Miriam felt the same odd rush of warmth in her gut, heat spreading throughout her, setting her skin alight, making her scalp tighten and every sense heighten so she could hear Jack’s heart beating and feel every brush of his hands on her skin like arcing electricity. She could smell him—aftershave and paint and leather. Miriam was breathless, she was drowning; no, not drowning, but burning up, she was being consumed by the fires within her….

Jack was the first to pull away, suddenly hissing between his teeth. “God, you’re…you’re hot, like, physically hot to the touch.” He looked at his palms as if expecting to see melted skin. He grinned at her. “I mean, you’re hot, too, in another sense—like, beautiful.” Miriam laughed, glad he wasn’t bolting in fear. She had thought for one crazy moment that she might actually burst into flame. He was looking at her with obvious hunger, visible desire, his hands resting on the swell of her hips. She knew it wasn’t fair or right to compare them, but she couldn’t help it: Ben had never, ever looked at her like Jack was looking at her now, had never touched her the way Jack was touching her now, had never kissed her so passionately.

Ben touched her as if he owned her, as if she was his and she had no rights or needs. Ben kissed her as part of foreplay, but just so he could sleep with her. Ben looked at her… how? Miriam tried to categorize how he looked at her, and couldn’t. With ownership? Contempt? Smug possession seemed to be the most apt term.

“What are you thinking?” Jack asked. He was perceptive. Her face must have betrayed her thoughts.

“Just….” She couldn’t tell Jack what she was feeling. He’d want to continue this—this whatever this was, and that would only get him hurt. “Just that I’m sorry. I can’t do this. I shouldn’t have—I’m sorry.” She turned and ran up the stairs, leaving Jack standing at the foot of the stairs.

“Did I do something wrong?” he called. She could hear the hurt and confusion in his voice.

Miriam paused halfway up the steps. She couldn’t let him think this was his fault. “You didn’t do anything,” she said, turning around but not descending. She didn’t trust herself to get near him again. “I promise, Jack, you didn’t do anything. Bad, I mean. Or wrong, or whatever. You stopped Ben, and I’m thankful for that. You’ve been so nice to me…too nice. I just—I shouldn’t do this with you. I mean, I just met you, and….” She tried to think of a better reason, but he was coming up the steps toward her, and the desire in his eyes washed away her logic.

“I know what it is,” Jack said. “You’re trying to protect me. You’re afraid of him finding out about us, and what he’ll do to me.” He was two steps below her now, and she felt her will to turn away weakening. “And to you.”

“I–no, I mean, yeah. A little, I guess.” She wasn’t making any sense. She took a deep breath, tried again. “Listen, Jack. You’re right. But it’s not that I don’t think you can take care of yourself. I just know Ben. He’s…you don’t want to mess with him.” She backed up a step. “You’re amazing, Jack. I mean that. I don’t want to see you get hurt. Not for me.”

“I’m sure he’s a badass,” Jack said, a wry edge to his voice. “He looks like he could rip my arm off and beat me with it. I’m sure if I knew him, I’d be pissing myself. You’re his girl, and he’d kill me for even looking at you. I get it, Miriam. But what if I don’t care? What if I’m willing to take that risk?”

“Don’t be stupid, Jack. You just met me. You don’t know me.” He was getting too close. He had burrowed under her walls somehow and found her vulnerable heart, saying exactly what she had always wanted to hear, and it scared the hell out of her.

“Yes, I do. You may be his girl, but you don’t belong with him. You deserve better.”

“And you can give me better, I suppose?” She was getting defensive now, and she felt her walls going up. Not because she didn’t trust him, or believe he could and would treat her better, but because she did. She wanted to trust him, desperately, and that was dangerous for both of them.

“Yes! I can. And I will,” he said.

Bang, the walls were up, the gates closed. She wanted him more than anything, but she knew how it would go. He’d be all nice and charming now, but if she left Ben for him, he’d change. Assuming Ben didn’t kill him beforehand, of course.

“It won’t work, Jack. I’m sorry. You should forget you met me.” Miriam turned and ascended the steps, refusing to look back.

“Yeah, right.” Jack actually laughed at that. “You can’t push me away that easily, Miriam. I know what you’re doing, and it won’t work.”

She stopped but didn’t turn around. “What am I doing, then?”