It's a Fugly Life (Fugly #2)(18)

“I’d be afraid, but I know choo are a *!” Patricio snarled back, his accent always becoming thicker when he got excited. “You don’t have the balls for a woman like Lily, and it kills you that I do!”

“That’s the problem. You think having two balls means a woman for each. It takes a real man to love one. Only one!”

“Adeline and I are not f*cking!” Patricio made fists with his hands. “I told you this ten minutes ago! Those were old photos. We are only co-workers now.”

Whoa. I popped up from my chair. “Is that where you went, Max? To see Patricio?”

Max looked at me, flustered as hell. “Yes. I had my assistant track him down.”

So Max had ditched me at his hotel room in my moment of need to go and hunt down Patricio, who was likely staying at another hotel down the road. Recently, he’d been staying with me when he came to town, but before we were seriously dating, Patricio had a usual place he liked.

Max continued, “He can’t ruin your life like this. Especially now that you’re—”

“He’s my boyfriend, Max,” I barked. “He cheated on me, and it’s my issue to handle.” Jeez, he was behaving just like John—Mr. Protective.

Patricio threw his arms in the air. “I did not cheat on Lily. Adeline is my costar.”

Is that Patricio’s story? If so, why hadn’t he told me? And why didn’t I buy it?

“Oh really? Let’s call Adeline and ask her!” Max roared.

I didn’t know what to say. The only thing I knew for certain was that Max had crossed the line when he’d given that look to my brother and then went butting in my relationship. As for Patricio, I wasn’t sure if he was a cheating “man-cunt,” but he sure as hell kept the news about his costar a secret and that did not evoke trust.

Patricio and Max went at it again, and I deflated back into my chair, propping my good elbow on the little dining table. John and I watched as these two educated, refined men devolved into WWE, trash-talking gorillas.

John flashed a look my way. “You know they’re both totally in love with you, right?”

“I think they’re in love with themselves,” I said.

“Don’t know about that,” John said, “but I know whipped when I see it. They’ve got it bad for you.”

“Well, too bad.” They didn’t have what it took to be the one. I stood up. “You’re both fired.”

Max and Patricio continued their vicious rants, faces pressed together.

“Did you hear me?” I yelled. “Get out! I won’t marry either of you.”

Max and Patricio shut their mouths and stepped back from each other.

Hands planted at my sides, I gave a nod. “Yep. That’s right, guys. I’m done. Like, super done. Don’t want anything to do with either of you, so congratulations.” Their fight last night, which was clearly being continued right now in my living room, proved that their highest priority was their male egos.

Alpha men should be renamed to “all about me” men.

Panting with rage, Patricio frowned at me. “But what about the baby?”

Huh? “What baby?” I asked.

Patricio, who’d stepped away from Max, pointed at him. “The one he just told me about when he came tearing into my hotel room. How come choo told him and not me? Eh, Lily!”

My eyes shifted to Max. “But why would you—”

“Lily, come on.” Max stepped toward me. “The morning sickness? The nausea? You can’t believe I wouldn’t catch on.”

Jesus. Well, now I know why Max ran off to go find Patricio. He thought I was knocked up when really that awesome acid-reflux fun was a symptom of severe stress, something I had been dealing with since the accident. Also, Patricio and I had only had sex a handful of times given we’d only started dating a few months ago and saw each other when he had filming breaks. When we were together, it was always with a condom, and I was on the pill for non-birth control, flow-related reasons. Add all that up, and the chances of my being pregnant were zero point zero, zero, zero.

I opened my mouth to set them straight, but John elbowed me in the thigh. He gave me a quick look, as if to say “Hold up, sis. Don’t say a word.”

I snapped my mouth shut.

John cleared his throat. “I think it’s time for you two to leave. Lily needs her rest.”

I resisted scoffing. What the hell was John up to?

Max and Patricio exchanged looks.

“Is this really what you want?” Max asked.

“Yep.” I stood and crossed my arms over my chest.

“Fine then. I’m done. If you want to talk, you can find me in Chicago,” Max said. He wasn’t merely mad at Patricio, he was mad at me, too. Was it because he thought I’d been knocked up by Patricio?

Anger flickered in Patricio’s green eyes, but he did his best to smile at me. “I will call you tomorrow.”

“Guys, I don’t care what you do,” John said, “because you both gotta go.”

Max and Patricio snarled at each other and then left. The noise of the tabloid a-holes filled my apartment for a moment and then faded out once the door closed.

The second they were gone, the steam evaporated from my body. I walked over to my couch and plopped down, hugging a pink throw pillow to my chest. My head was spinning and my heart felt like it had gone through an obstacle course. American Ninja-style obstacle course.