It Ain't Me, Babe (Hades Hangmen #1)(97)

He did so.

“Really? Was it all real, Rider—Oops! I mean Cain! Forgive me if your kidnapping me and returning me here, to Hell, can be construed as a mere slight against me.”

Cain ignored my sarcasm and ploughed on regardless.

“You don’t belong out there in that world, Mae. You belong with your people… with me.” His voice was so soft, so persuasive.

My heart sank. I wanted my Rider back. The person stood before me confused me and at that instant, I just did not know what to believe.

“It can’t be what you want,” he stated. “You want to be an old lady? You want to be surrounded your whole life with guns, drugs, and violence? The Hangmen are poison, Mae. Deep down you know it.”

“No,” I countered. Cain remained relaxed, a small happy curve forming on his lips. I looked him dead in the eye. “I want to be with Styx for the rest of my life. Wherever he is, is where I will be. He is my life. If he remains president of the Hangmen, I will be standing at his side.”

Cain blanched, then thundered toward me. He pushed me back on the bed then crawled above my body, pinning down both of my arms.

“What are you doing? Get off me!” I hissed, trying to throw him off.

“Well, you ain’t gonna see Styx ever again, okay?”

I stopped fighting and closed my eyes, only to open them again and ask, “Am I to marry Prophet David?”

Something akin to pain flashed in Cain’s eyes, but he nodded and my eyes filled with water. “Please leave me,” I whispered. I just wanted to be left alone.

Cain’s head lowered and his forehead pressed to mine. “I love you, Mae. I love you so much. I ache for you to be mine.”

“You were never meant for me, nor was Prophet David. I am Styx’s.”

Cain suddenly punched bed beside me, his arms shaking with frustration. “Styx ain’t here! He’s gone, Mae. Long f*ckin’ gone. No one will find you here! This commune is protected.”

“Rider…” I sighed. Damn, I had to stop myself. “I mean, Cain—”

“No.” He interrupted, skimming his finger down my cheek. “I like you calling me Rider.”

I frowned in disagreement and he ran his fingers through my hair, his eyes soft.

“When I was Rider, I think a part of you loved me, didn’t you? Now, all I can see is hatred.”

No matter how hard I tried to hate him, at that moment I could not. He was right. I did love him in a fashion and I could not just switch off those feelings, no matter how hard I tried. I loved the person he was on the outside, but not here, not as Cain. Not as a brother of The Order and certainly not the prophet’s nephew!

“Mae?” Cain whispered, wanting me to respond.

I shifted beneath him and laid a hand on his cheek. He nuzzled into my palm.

“Everything about us screams that we belong together: our faith, our upbringing, our interests. But that is not everything,” I whispered. “You need that raw, primal lust. That connection that you cannot describe… that incandescent, instinctive knowledge that someone is meant solely for you. Love, Cain, love is transcendent. I have that with Styx. Even if I have to spend the rest of my days here, at commune, nothing can change that, not even death itself.”

His brown eyes glistened. “I never stood a chance, did I?”

I shook my head. “We cannot fight fate, Cain. I know that now. The universe has its way of placing you where you belong. With whom you should belong.”

Cain moved from above me and kneeled on the bed. “The elders will come for you soon. Your marriage to Prophet David will happen tonight.”

I quickly sat up. “You are still going to allow that to happen?”

His head dropped. “Not if you agree to marry me,” he whispered. Cain lifted his chin, his handsome face so earnest, so hopeful.

“Cain… I cannot marry you. It is crazy to suggest such a thing. You kidnapped me!”

I felt his hand take mine and he stroked along the back with his finger. “I would never take another wife, Mae. It is our people’s way, but I could never love another as I love you. You would be it for me. You are it for me. I wasn’t raised like the rest of the brothers here at commune. I would care for you, protect you… treat you like a queen.”

“Cain…” I whispered, my heart breaking for the little boy lost sat before me pouring out his heart.

“You forget, Mae, that I am a victim of circumstance too. I was raised to inherit The Order. I have no way out either. We could be each other’s solace. Each other’s salvation. We would be bonded in the eyes of the Lord. It would be pure… It would be perfect.”

Tears tumbled down my cheeks. “I cannot stay here. There are too many nightmares of this place tormenting my mind. Too many demons disguised as ‘righteous people’ who have used me… scarred me.” He blew an exasperated breath through his nose, and I got to my knees, mirroring his position. “Tell me something.”

His expression was open, awaiting my question.

“Have you ever been part of a Lord’s sharing? Have you ever seen an eight-year-old girl raped, her legs pried apart by a bear trap because she was too scared to understand what was happening to her? Have you ever forced yourself inside a child, Cain, because you believe it will help you get closer to God and because the prophet deemed it so? Well, have you?”