It Ain't Me, Babe (Hades Hangmen #1)(75)

Mae was quiet. I wondered if it was all too much for her to understand again, when she said, “That river on the picture is called the River Styx, yes? It is your club name.”

“That’s right.”

She sat up, studied the large river, then her wolf eyes bored into mine. “If Lethe is the river of forgetfulness, what is the river Styx for?”

I blew out a pent-up breath. “Hate.”

Mae ran her finger over my injured cheek, sorrow in her expression. “They represent such sad things.”

I placed my hand on top of hers, stilling them on my cheeks. “Yeah, b-babe, they d-do. Life’s h-hard. D-Death’s even harder. No use su-sugar coatin’ that sh-shit.”

“Why would your club want to be named after the sorrowful part of the story, the misfortunate—why not after the sky god or water god?”

Her face grew excited, then hopeful. Thought she’d found us a better path, found us redemption—it was foreign to anything I’d heard in a long f*ckin’ time. No use though.

“The m-mother chapter—the f-first cl-club—of Hades Hangmen was f-founded h-here in Austin. My granddaddy was f-founding member. He f-fought in Vee-Vietnam. The war f-f*cked him up g-good. Couldn’t c-cope with life wh-when he came b-back. Only th-thing he knew was killing and r-riding H-Harleys. Couldn’t hold a j-job for shit. H-he and more vets l-like him created this MC. Been my f-family’s way ever s-since. D-don’t know no different.”

I could see in her face she still didn’t get it. “B-babe, the vets saw sh-shit in that war that k-kept them from sleeping at n-night. Th-they did things that h-had them dreading d-death. No sky god, w-water god, or any god coulda p-pulled them outta that living h-hell. They w-were seen as murderers, r-r-rapists, kid k-killers when they came back to the US. When f-folks h-heard what the war made ’em d-do, they were cast out, r-rejected. Just like H-Hades was. You l-live in hell long enough, b-babe, you b-become a sinner too. Why try and b-be good when f-folks already decided you’re too f-far gone to b-be saved?”

She sighed and placed her hand on my bare chest. “You are not as evil as you think, Styx. You are a good man.”

I wanted to believe it, to agree, but she deserved the truth. “Yeah, b-babe, I’m evil. I’ve s-sinned more than you’d b-believe.” I ran my hands down my face. “Truth t-time. I’m bad… p-p-poisoned to my f*ckin’ damned s-soul.”

Mae’s expression went blank and she pulled away from my arm. Abruptly, she stood up and I thought she was gonna run. My jaw clenched, bracing for it but instead she stared at the picture, her back to me, her black long black hair blowing in the breeze.

Goddamn beautiful.

Turning, Mae stepped in between my legs and stared down. I saw her fingers twitch as she chewed on her full bottom lip, then she raised her hand and gently ran her fingers through my hair.

I leaned into her hand. Twenty-six years old and a single touch was gonna make me blow in my jeans. “B-babe—”

“You should not be named after hate, Styx.”

“I-I’ve done some f-f*cked-up shit. Honestly, I a-ain’t gonna change. I’m ddamned. I’ve made p-peace with it.”

Mae just stared at me and kept running that tiny hand through my long hair. “You have been nothing but kind to me.”

Swallowing, I rasped, “Only you.”

“Why only me?” she asked, frowning.

I shrugged, reached for her hand, and threaded it through mine. As I looked up at her twitchin’ nose, I pressed a kiss on the center of her palm. “C-can’t be askin’ sh-shit like th-that.”

“Why not?” she whispered as she watched me caress her hand.

“B-because I don’t have a f-f*ckin’ an-answer. Never like th-this with n-no one… but I am with y-you.”

With a sigh, I let my head fall to her flat stomach. Dropping her hand, I gripped her tightly around the waist. I kept a tight hold. The way that felt floored me, f*ckin’ first round knockout floored me. I felt her relax into my hold and her fingers touched my head.

“I’ll l-lay it on th-the line for you, Mae. I k-kill people. I-I even like it, a-and”—here comes the final death blow—”I’ll d-do it a-again and again. Have to in th-this life.”

Her breath grew faster and she gripped my wrist so damn tight. On shaky legs, Mae stood up and I dropped my hands from her face. She walked to the mural again, leaving me on the bench and ran her hand over Persephone’s face.

“I already know many things about you, Styx. I have neither been deaf nor blind to the goings-on here. But you cannot drive me away.”

She walked back over and straddled my thighs, pressing her forehead to mine as I gripped her ass. “Persephone, the goddess, lived with Hades, did she not? She supported him even when others thought she was wrong to do so?”

I nodded slowly.

Her long lashes met her cheeks, then fluttered up. “She fell in love with the dark lord, even though it did not seem right, did she not?”

I nodded again. Where the hell is she going with this?

She sighed happily and blushed. “Just like I have done with you.”

I stilled and, putting my hand on her face, thrust her back, catching the blush creeping up her pale cheeks. Was she saying she loved me? Fuck. She was saying she f*ckin’ loved me. I slammed my lips to hers and shifted her up on my hardening cock.