Into the Storm (Signal Bend #3)(90)

“Thanks, Lilli.”

“No problem. Talking you through this epiphany got my mind off my own stuff.”

“You want to talk about that?”

She shrugged. “I want to make another one of these.” She rubbed Gia’s back. “Isaac won’t even talk about it. He’s being all caveman about it—you guys suck when you get like that, just so you know.”

Show thought of the days after Gia was born. Lilli had almost died. “Didn’t the doctor say you’d die if you had another baby?”

She groaned in irritation. “No! She said there was a chance what happened could happen again. A chance.”

“And if it did, it would be worse?”

Lilli stared at him, her posture suddenly very quiet. He’d surprised her, and she wasn’t happy about it.

“Usually, you come out on my side when Isaac and I fight.” She glared at him.

“Usually he’s the one being an idiot.” Her eyes flared, and Show decided he needed to try to move out of her line of fire. He leaned forward. “Lilli, listen. I’m going to speak plain, okay?” She nodded warily, and he went on. “I love you. Isaac—damn. You know how he feels about you. He wears it right on his face, even when you’re not around. And I’ve seen him—more than once—sitting next to a hospital bed, thinking he was going to lose you. I’ve seen that empty look he gets. I know you love being a mom. I know you want a houseful. But you have to be around to enjoy it, then. You have to be here for this little diva. You have to be around for your man. If there’s a bigger chance than normal that you won’t be, then you’re not just being an idiot to do it again, you’re being a selfish idiot.”

“You need to go.”

“Lilli…”

“No. You’re…you’re right. I just need to stop thinking about it right now.”

“There are other ways to fill a house with kids, Lilli.”

“Yeah. I’ll talk to you later.” She stood up, Gia sleeping on her shoulder.

Show stood, too, stepping to her and kissing her cheek, then Gia’s head. “Sorry, Lilli. Love you.”

She sighed. “Love you, too. Fix it with Shannon.”

“On my way.”

oOo

He found Shannon in the dining room at the B&B, her foamcore boards and color-coded sticky notes spread out over three tables. She was planning another wedding, and she liked to have everything spread out so she could see the whole thing in her head at once. Vicki, her assistant manager, was standing between two tables, looking like she was just trying to stay out of her way. Neither of them had noticed him come in, so he stood in the doorway for a second and watched.

Shannon was concentrating intently, moving the colored notes around. Show knew she enjoyed doing this, making each wedding unique, giving the bride a day better than she imagined, solving the puzzle of what was really right for each event amidst the jumble of ideas that most brides had. She talked to him a lot about her work, especially the weddings, which were her favorite part. At first, he’d listened because he loved her, and she was interested, even though he didn’t personally know the difference between a peony and a hydrangea—or care. Then he’d listened because it was a way to see inside her head, and that wasn’t so easy to do. Lately, since he’d proposed, she hadn’t talked to him about weddings much at all.

He’d remarked to himself on more than one occasion that she never talked about weddings in a hopeful way, with a sense that she thought of herself as ever being a bride. He’d thought it sad. Well, now she would be a bride. His bride. And he’d been thinking about it all wrong. To her, her wedding would be special because it didn’t involve giant slabs of foamcore and color-coded stickers.

And then it occurred to him that she wouldn’t have needed all that, anyway, even if she wanted the kind of wedding he’d thought she should. She didn’t have that many people with whom to share a day like that.

Jesus Christ, he really was an *. He walked into the dining room and straight up to her. Vicki saw him coming and stepped back. Deeply involved in her work, Shannon still hadn’t noticed him, so he wrapped his hand around her arm and turned her back to face him. She jumped a little, gasping in surprise.

He wrapped his arms around her waist. “I’m sorry. For all of it.”

She put her hands on his arms, but she didn’t smile. “I don’t understand why it matters so much to you.”

“It doesn’t. Not for me. Making you mine matters. I just want you to have what you really want. I wasn’t listening. I’m sorry.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” He looked over at Vicki. “I’m going to take my old lady for a little while, Vicki.” Returning his eyes to Shannon’s, he asked, “That okay?”

“Where are we going?”

“Not far.”

She nodded, and he took her hand and led her out of the dining room. He led her out the front door, down the porch steps, and over the gravel drive to the barn. When they got there, they found Badger in the room he’d made into his office, working on some paperwork.

“Hey, Badge,” Show said. “Step out for a few, brother.” He could feel Shannon’s confused eyes burning into the side of his face, but Badge, knowing what was up, just nodded, getting up from his desk and going out the side door.