Into the Night(45)

“Why did you join the FBI?” Macey asked him softly.

“Because I was good at hunting monsters.”

“You...you fought your way onto Samantha’s team.”

He had, because his name hadn’t been on the initial, very short list of agents that Samantha Dark had hand selected. She’d wanted agents who’d all been linked—personally—with serial killers. People who’d been lovers, friends or even siblings of serial killers. Samantha had a theory that that link wasn’t a weakness. Instead, it was a strength, one that allowed the agents to have an insight into the mind of a serial killer that others lacked.

To put it simply, Samantha had wanted agents with a killer instinct.

And, at first, she hadn’t picked him. Just as she hadn’t picked Jonah Loxley.

But I didn’t give up. I kept busting my ass to prove that I could belong there.

Her phone vibrated before he could answer her. Before he could tell her that he’d joined the FBI because he wanted to be the kind of guy who hunted for justice. Because Cadi’s death had changed everything for him—torn off his blinders and made him see the world for exactly what it truly was.

She walked away from him, heading to scoop up her phone from the bedside table. The sheet trailed behind her, like a bride’s train sliding on the floor. When she picked up the phone, the screen illuminated her face as she read the text. “Tucker said he’s here. He and Jonah arrived a bit earlier and the FBI got them a cabin just down the road. He says he’ll meet us at the police station at 0700 hours.”

Not so far away. “We should get some sleep.” He’d bared enough of his past. Tried to make her see him for what he really was.

He didn’t care if others bought the lie he tried to sell, but for some reason, Bowen wanted Macey to know the truth about him. He wanted her to know everything. And to still want me, despite all of that.

Macey’s fingers typed across the screen. “Tucker wants to know if you’re all right.”

Tucker Frost. Bowen counted the man as one of the few friends he had. “Never better.” A friend, but Bowen still lied to him. Tucker’s brother had been a serial killer, and Tucker—hell, he’d had to kill the guy. Had to make a choice: the woman Tucker loved or his brother.

He’d chosen the woman. And Tucker was planning to marry her.

But sometimes Bowen wondered... Just how badly did that choice gut the other man?

“Why do you have to bullshit?”

He blinked.

She dropped the phone back onto the nightstand. “You think I don’t see your pain? You think I don’t hate that I caused you to shoot that man today?”

She was blaming herself? Fuck, no. He grabbed her shoulders and pulled her closer. “Let’s be clear on one thing.” His voice had roughened. “None of this is on you.”

But once more, Macey said, “Bullshit. I made a rookie mistake. I bought the story being sold in front of me. I saw a victim because I have been a victim. I tend to think from that perspective. I want to help. I want to comfort, and I’ve got to stop. Samantha warned me about this weakness before. My past can help me, but it can hurt me, too. And tonight, it hurt. I looked at that man, tied in the chair, so desperate, and I saw myself. I wanted to help him, I wanted to get him out of those binds as fast as possible and get him to safety. Because I didn’t look deep enough, he caught me unaware.”

His fingers slid up her shoulders and skimmed over her throat, sliding against the small bandage there.

“It won’t happen again.” It sounded as if she were making a vow.

“I left you in there alone.”

“Then we both screwed up. There can’t be any more screwups, not with this perp still out there. Because one thing I know with absolute certainty...this guy isn’t done.”

No, he wasn’t.

“He’s not done killing, and, Bowen, I don’t think he’s done with you.”

*

IT WAS THE phone call he’d known would come. Bowen stood on the back deck of the cabin, watching the sun slowly rise. Fog circled the mountains, giving them the smoky appearance that had led to the name Smoky Mountains.

“You understand, don’t you, Bowen?” Samantha Dark said, her voice firm but sympathetic. “Anytime there is an officer-involved shooting—”

“I knew I would get benched. Yeah, I saw this coming.” He kept his voice mild even as anger stirred through him. The second he’d pulled that trigger, he’d known what would be coming. Internal investigation. “Just get me cleared as soon as you can, because I need to be back working at Macey’s side.”

The better to keep her safe...like I fucking promised I would.

“Tucker is already in town. I’ve instructed him to partner with Macey during the course of the investigation.”

His left hand curled around the wooden railing.

“But I need you to stay close, Bowen.” Intensity sharpened her words. “I’m not pulling you, and I told the brass at the FBI the same thing. You’re not in the field, but you are on this case. The perp is talking to you—and every instinct I have says that he will keep contacting you. You’re the key we can use against him.”

Bowen released a slow breath and a fog appeared near his mouth. It was crisp out that morning, but he liked the cold. “He knows about my past.”