Interim(98)

“Just as well.”

“Stop,” he said, pulling gently on her arm.

Only then did he notice the slight change in her eyes. They were decorated with a bit of eyeshadow and mascara. He stared at them—so bright. So pretty. He momentarily forgot his next statement.

“Yeah, I wore some make-up today,” she said. “Big f*cking deal. I’m a girl, and girls wear make-up.”

“I like it,” he whispered. “I never knew your eyes were that blue.”

She squirmed uncomfortably. “Don’t say cheesy shit like that, Jer. It doesn’t suit you.”

He nodded and continued to stare.

“Stop looking at me!” Hannah snapped.

He shook his head. “Hannah, what happened between you and Regan?”

His deepest fear was that it involved bullying. He couldn’t imagine Regan would ever mistreat someone, but if Hannah was unwilling to address it—as victims of bullying are wont to do—then he’d have to face an ugly truth about his dream girl.

He held his breath. Hannah eyed him strangely.

“Your perfect girlfriend didn’t do anything wrong, if that’s what you’re worried about,” she said.

He exhaled long and loud. Hannah rolled her eyes and then had a change of heart.

“Well, she ran her mouth to Casey, which started the downward spiral, but I don’t think she did it with the intention of fueling gossip. I don’t think she knew how evil her best friend was. Which, by the way, is a really disgusting trait of hers—to be so na?ve.”

“Cryptic,” Jeremy said patiently.

“All right, all right.” Hannah hesitated. “I kissed her.”

Jeremy’s eyebrows shot up. They finally arrived at Hannah’s car on the far side of the massive parking lot, and she opened her door.

“What the hell? You don’t think you’re leaving, do you?” he asked.

She laughed. “No, dummy. Get in. I’ll drive you to work.”

Hannah recounted the story on the short drive to Roy’s.

“Ninth grade. I was crying in the bathroom because I didn’t understand why all these girls weren’t talking to me anymore. They talked to me in eighth grade. What the hell changed? And then Regan comes in and asks me what’s wrong, and I really didn’t want to tell her because she was one of them—”

“She was mean to you?” Jeremy asked.

“No, she wasn’t mean. But she hung out with them, so she just stopped talking to me. I mean, every now and then she’d say hi, but we weren’t, like, friends or anything.”

Jeremy nodded.

“So anyway, I’m crying and she’s asking me what’s wrong, and before I know it, she’s hugging me. It felt . . . good. And then she pulled away and wiped my tears, and I took it as an invitation.”

“Is that usually how it goes with girls?” Jeremy asked. “I mean, if they’re interested in each other? They wipe each other’s tears?”

Hannah snorted. “You’re an idiot.”

“Well, how should I know?” Jeremy cried defensively.

“No, that’s not how it goes between lesbians. I misread the signs. I kissed her, and she just froze for a second, and then she pulled away and told me I had the wrong idea.”

Jeremy said nothing.

“Don’t pretend you didn’t know I was gay,” she said, pulling into an empty parking space.

“I never thought about it,” Jeremy admitted. “And it wouldn’t have mattered, anyway.”

“Well, that’s because you’re a nice guy and because you’re wrapped up in your own shittastic life,” Hannah replied.

Jeremy chuckled.

“Well, I’ll amend that. What used to be your shittastic life,” Hannah said. “You’ve got the girl now, so . . .”

“My whole world doesn’t revolve around her,” Jeremy pointed out.

Hannah burst out laughing. “You’re such a bad liar, Jer.”

He said nothing.

“Anyway, she told Casey what happened, and that’s when the bullying really ramped up. I don’t think she meant for that to happen, but it did. And I’ve had a suck ass life ever since. Well, if you don’t count the shit with my parents.”

“Mine started in sixth grade,” Jeremy said.

“I remember,” Hannah replied. “You wanna talk about it?”