Interim(91)

She shot up from the table and headed for Casey. When she reached the popular group, she stood waiting for someone to acknowledge her. No one did.

“Have you shared my secrets?” she demanded, glaring at Casey.

Casey turned her face even as Ethan forbade her to. She stared at Regan.

“Have you?” Regan pressed.

“What secrets?” Casey asked.

“Any of them!”

“Would you like me to?”

Hannah’s voice echoed in her head: Don’t let them see you cry. Her eyes welled. This was Casey. Her BFF. Confidant. Other sister.

“Would you do that to me, Casey?” she whispered low. Barely audible.

Casey hesitated, eyes fixed on Regan’s. And then Regan saw the imperceptible shaking of her head: Everything’s fine. I would never do that to you. Don’t worry.

Regan fought down the words she so wanted to blurt: “Come with me! Stay with me! Get away from them as fast as you can!”

She turned on her heel, instead, and left the cafeteria.





~

There’s gotta be a Bully Code out there somewhere. That’s why so many are good at it. Yeah, basic internal evil helps a lot, but the really good ones are studying up. They’re making notes in the margins. Asking questions. Making sure they get it just right—just the right amount of intimidation to make someone pee themselves. What these *s probably aren’t aware of is the fact that there’s a Victim Code, too. It can’t prevent the punches and hurtful words, but it can help victims cope with the aftereffects. The code looks something like this:

1. Don’t acknowledge a bully by looking directly at his face. You’re just inviting trouble when you do that. He’s going to go after you regardless. No need to piss him off any further.

2. Don’t fight back. You’ll just get it ten times worse. (See No. 7 for exception to this rule.)

3. Relinquish whatever he wants. Hey, lunch isn’t all that important, right?

4. Don’t discuss victimization with other victims. Banding together does nothing. Find maybe one other victim to hang with, but talk about anything other than bullying.

5. When you’re getting pummeled, go into “shutdown” mode. Erase your thoughts. Think large, black, empty space. This helps dull the pain from both physical and verbal assaults.

6. Don’t cry. Just don’t. I repeat: don’t f*cking cry.

7. If the opportunity presents itself, throw a punch, but only if you KNOW you’ll make contact, and you KNOW you can escape right after. Otherwise, you’re the idiot who tried to make a difference.

8. Don’t bother telling adults about the bullying. They don’t do shit about it anyway.

9. Find music that inspires you to take revenge in your fantasies. Listen to it at night before bed to pump you up for the next school day. Only way you’re making it through.

10. Don’t get a girlfriend or boyfriend. Just don’t. Then you’ve dragged them into it, and that’s a jerk move.

~





She stood a few feet away, trembling with hurt. Emotional damage—far worse than any punch to the face, the gut. Far worse than any jab to the ribs. Broken bones? They eventually heal. A broken mind? Much harder.

It was easy to be angry with her. Those people weren’t good for her! She knew it. He knew it. But he also realized that they were her reality for three years. One of them was her reality for far longer. He couldn’t expect her to get over it so easily. He couldn’t expect her to move on overnight. He couldn’t expect her heart to heal so fast. No one’s heart heals that fast. His still hadn’t, though he knew the catalyst for a speedier recovery.

“I know I shouldn’t cry!” she said, tears and snot coursing her face.

He abandoned the Camaro and grabbed a Kleenex box from the counter. She pulled a tissue and blew her nose. He waited for the sobs to subside, listening to the hitching in her chest—her heart jerking and halting, searching for a normal rhythm.

“Has Casey said anything?” Jeremy asked.

Regan shook her head.

“Well, that’s one good thing,” he offered.

She nodded.

He didn’t ask about Brandon. He already heard the rumors of their sexual escapades and Regan’s inexperience. In detail. The words were meant to humiliate her, and they did. But he was oddly happy for them. He liked the idea of her not knowing much. He wanted her to discover those things with him.