Intent(84)

She paces slowly as the phone rings. When it connects, a single tear slides from her eye and her voice cracks when she begins to speak.

“Jeremy, this is Zoe. I won’t keep you long, but there’s something I need to ask you about. Margot came to me and said you wanted us to be a family. You, me, and the baby. Is that true? Did you really tell her that?”

She stops pacing and is silent for what feels like an eternity. The second hand on the wall clock ticks loudly as silence fills the room.

“Thank you for saying that and for talking to me. I appreciate it more than you know.”

She walks to the window and stares out into the darkness. I can partially see her reflection in the window, and it breaks my heart to watch the tears run like a river, unchecked and unnoticed.

“Zoe, do you want to talk about it?” I don’t know what else to say. She’s not okay and that would be a stupid question to ask.

“He apologized for abandoning me. Said he freaked out because he knew he couldn’t support us. He saw his plans for college disintegrating and then he’d be stuck in this dead-end town. He knows about the plans for the adoption, and he won’t stand in the way. He wants me to have a good life and to be happy,” she replies robotically.

“That sounds like he cares about you, Zoe.”

“He sure didn’t show it before now, did he?”

“He’s young and scared, sweetheart. That’s a lot of responsibility at seventeen or eighteen years old. He panicked. It happens to the best of us.”

“She lied to me, Layne. She made it all up without ever even talking to him. I hurt you when you’ve been the only one who has stood by me through everything. You’ve done everything to help me, above and beyond the pregnancy, and I went right along with everything she said. You must hate me now. And I don’t blame you.”

“I could never hate you, Zoe. You trusted the wrong person, and everyone has made that mistake before. She manipulated you like she’s done everyone else in her life. She took what she knew you wanted to hear and made you believe it was true.”

“She must have thought you’d leave town and she could get Ace back with you out of the picture. How could I be so stupid? I’ve given up everything because of her stupid tricks.”

“What have you given up?”

“Everything. I’ve lost you. I’ve quit my job. I lost out on going to that private school. I’ll never be able to go to college now. My parents don’t want anything to do with me. There’s nothing left for me.”

“Why can’t you go to the private school? I’m not following.”

“It’s too expensive. It’s way too far out of my reach.”

“Zoe, I told you I’d help you. That school was my suggestion. I haven’t changed my mind about that.”

“I can’t let you do that after what I’ve done to you.”

“My offer to help you with school wasn’t conditional on the adoption going through. It still stands so you can have a better life than the one you can make by staying here. If you want to go to school there, we’ll find a way to make it work.”

“Why would you do that?”

“You’re like a daughter to me, Zoe. My love for you will never end. I may not like or approve of all your choices, but that doesn’t mean I’ll stop loving you.”

“My own parents won’t even give me that kind of love, Layne,” she says softly.

“I can’t pretend to know why they’ve done the things they have. Maybe they weren’t shown it. Maybe they’ve been so bogged down with stress that they never learned how to look past themselves. Maybe they’re just terrible people. You’re better off focusing on yourself and the future, rather than looking back on the past with regret of what wasn’t.”

“What is my future, Layne? Whether I keep the baby or give it up, how can any man love me now?”

“You think you’re unlovable because you’re having a baby? Do you think Ace is unlovable because he has a child?”

“I think others would look down on me for giving my baby up. They’ll think I’m selfish and cold. What kind of awful person gives their baby away?”

“Zoe, look at me, sweetheart.” I put my hand under her chin and coax her head up until our eyes meet. “You’re not an awful person. Giving your baby a better life than you had isn’t cold or selfish. It’s one of the most selfless acts you can do. Any man who can’t understand where you’ve come from and what you were facing doesn’t deserve you. But there are good men out there who will be supportive. Don’t settle for less than you deserve.”

“How am I any different than Margot when she abandoned River?”

“Margot intentionally got pregnant to try to trap Ace into marrying her. She had no aspirations for her life. No intentions of doing anything other than letting him cater to her. When she didn’t get what she wanted, she abandoned her baby so she could go live a single, carefree life with her friends. She lost her parental rights because she didn’t care about what was best for River. You are nothing like her.”

She nods, but there’s no commitment behind it. Agreeing for the sake of agreeing. “I guess.”

“It sounds like you still have your heart set on going to the private school. You’ve been accepted and we can still get the response back to them before the deadline. Just give me the word.”