Intent(63)
At some point during my rant, I apparently stood and crossed the room to yell in his face. But now I’m done here and want nothing to do with Bobby Shaw ever again. I turn on my heel and stomp across the room, my sights set on the door and my escape from this confined space.
“The baby isn’t mine,” he calls out from behind me. “She already knew she was pregnant when she showed up at my apartment that night.”
Why couldn’t I have just made it out the door before he added that part?
“Layne, I hate myself for even thinking this, but I have to tell you this part so you’ll understand the rest. After all our negative pregnancy tests, I was somewhat…relieved…the day Cyndi told me she was pregnant. A small part of me was glad there wasn’t something wrong with me after all. I mean, for two years we’d tried, and I thought I was a failure at that, too. But another part of me, the majority of what I felt, was that I was the lowest life-form on earth. She told me she was pregnant the same morning you found out about us.
“It doesn’t help, but I’d actually told her I couldn’t see her anymore after she gave me the news. But then she convinced me that you and I would be over anyway, and I needed to be a father to our baby. It wasn’t what I wanted at all, but I knew I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t accept my responsibility.
“How did you find out the baby isn’t yours?”
“I went to her monthly doctor’s visit with her. When he left her chart on the counter during her examination, I saw the date of her last period and the estimated weeks of gestation. After we left, I confronted her about it. Of course, she denied it at first, but I told her I’d demand an amniocentesis to prove paternity and she caved. She’s actually not sure who the father is, but she knows it’s not Brett. He didn’t trust birth control pills, so he refused to go without a condom. That’s why she and Brett broke up—he caught her with someone else.”
“Maybe Brett and I should start a club. We can call it ‘Bullet Dodgers’ and have T-shirts made.” My sympathy level for Bobby is in the negative double digits. “I can’t believe how blind I’ve been all these years. Apparently, I never knew the real you, just like I never knew the real Cyndi.”
“You do know me, Layne. You’ve always known me. I just lost myself. When you walked in and I saw firsthand what damage I’d caused, it killed me. Images of the pain in your eyes have haunted me every day since.”
“You know what? This whole charade you’re putting on is only pissing me off even worse. The only thing you regret is that you got f*cking busted. Or I should say, you got busted f*cking. Did you honestly think that telling me the baby isn’t yours makes it all better, would make me take you back? You’ve been f*cking my former best friend! Why the hell would I want you back after everything?
“There’s nothing you can do to change my mind. I’m happier without you than I ever was with you. I’m in love with someone else, and the awesome part is, I know without a doubt that he’s in love with me. He openly shares his thoughts and dreams with me. I’ll never have to question his motives. We’ve already taken major steps toward our future, and we’re doing it together, like a couple should. You’re my past, and I’m leaving you there.”
The hotel is disappearing in my rearview mirror, far behind me, just like Bobby. Had anyone told me two years ago that this would be my reality, I would’ve called bullshit and had them locked away in a mental hospital. Today, I only regret not seeing the deception that was occurring all around me. Part of me wants to exact revenge on Cyndi for what she’s done, but I draw the line at assaulting a pregnant woman. Besides, she’s not worth the trouble it would cause me in the end.
The sudden urge to hear Ace’s voice is so overwhelming it’s akin to an addiction. Although, being addicted to Ace isn’t such a bad way to go.
“Hey, babe,” he greets my call. “Are you all right?”
“I’m actually better than all right now that I’m talking to you. I just had an overwhelming urge to tell you I love you.”
“I love you, too.” His voice deepens to what I affectionately call his bedroom voice. “Your talk went that bad, huh?”
“It was very eye-opening,” I deadpan. “I’ll tell you all about it tonight. I’m still somewhat in shock over the secrets he spilled today. But you were right about one thing. It definitely helped with closure, on my part anyway.”
“That’s some good news at least. After you give me the word-for-word breakdown, I’ll be more than happy to make you forget he even exists.”
“I’m so going to take you up on that offer,” I flirt. And it feels good.
A weight the size of an elephant has been lifted from my chest in the few minutes I’ve been on the phone with Ace. His voice makes me feel relaxed and excited. His touch makes me feel calm and aroused. His presence makes me feel protected and carefree.
He makes me feel. Like it’s my first time. Like I’ve never felt anything before.
“It’s not an offer, sweetheart. It’s my vow and my new goal in life.”
“Ace, I give you my word—after we finish talking about it tonight, his name will never come up again. Not in my mind, not in our conversations, nothing. If someone else brings him up, we’ll reply with ‘Bobby, who?’ and change the subject.”